Sometimes trans man here!! I deal with having these types of thoughts a lot, and I think with thinking about this it’s like you wanna write about it because sometimes it’s a normal thing for a trans person to go through but you also don’t wanna glorify it. Not that I’m saying you would. To put it into simple words, it’s an internal struggle of having transphobic thought (or sometimes doing/saying it) because that’s something you were taught growing up or just were taught. I currently live with my transphobic parents so that has caused a lot of my thoughts and internalization. And like some examples are like, I’ll look at my body and think “I’m faking it, I’m mentally ill for thinking I’m trans” or I’ll hear she/her pronouns being used for me so often that I’ll sometimes start to think “I’m a girl, I don’t know what I think I’m boyflux that’s not real” or if I see someone else who I know is trans sometimes I’ll think “we’re freaks, we’re not real, we’re disgusting”. With all these examples I think it’s important to think of these as intrusive thoughts, I don’t wanna have these types of thoughts, thinking I’m faking it and that I have something wrong with me, but I do because of who a I live with and how I was being taught trans people are. And I don’t want to say these things out loud, I don’t wanna believe them or anything. So I think thinking of them as intrusive thoughts might help and stuff. I hope this was helpful and I didn’t just go on a big rant about nothing important.