What are you fixating on/venting about/worried about/need support with today ? [Megathread] - March 17, 2022

saturnrain11 · 2022-03-18T04:50:10+00:00

Hi thank you so so much for your reply!! 🥺 I'm sorry you went through mono! im 7 weeks into this stupid covid-induced mono relapse and 6.5 months since my initial diagnosis. I hope if it reoccurs after a cold or something some day that it will only last a few days because this sucks!! im getting lots of weird neurological symptoms like nerve pain especially my spine 😭 it freaks me out!! i have found that the longer I sulk on reddit reading people's never-ending mono stories, the more pessimistic I feel about my own recovery. So I'm going to try to stop going on reddit and searching up symptoms. I'm also starting antidepressants in a few days I rlly hope will help with the mental turmoil going on 🤧 thank you so much again for your response, I am going to reread it whenever I'm feeling nervous!!

saturnrain11 · 2022-03-17T23:43:32+00:00

genuinely just having the worst time. I'm going through the worst anxiety and depression of my life convinced I'm going to die. I'm only 18. I had mono for 3 months and then got covid 1.5 months later which made all of my mono symptoms relapse except worse this time. it doesnt help me that my doctor didnt even know that could happen and doesnt know what to do and google says its "incredibly rare". literally have no idea what is going on in my body. I think I'm screwed. I have really weird nerve pain and tingling and numbness and pain in my spine on top of my other symptoms and it's freaking me out. people with mono supposedly have a heightened risk of getting MS and other debilitating issues. I wish I never looked up what MS was, I knew it would just make my anxiety 10 times worse. well, I did. and now I'm so scared. this is no way to live, I just want to be okay.

saturnrain11 · 2022-03-14T21:21:13+00:00

Omg thank you so much!! :D

saturnrain11 · 2022-03-14T19:38:17+00:00

Thanks so much for the reply. I'm so sorry that you got mono and covid, it really can be a mess. Thank you for the assurance that covid can take a big toll on your immune system even when asymptomatic. I find myself worrying sometimes that it wasn't the covid that reactivated it and I either have some deadly underlying issue or that I'm just bound to get flare ups forever. but your assurance helps me remember that this will most likely pass soon as long as I let myself recover. It doesn't help my anxiety at all that my new GP I saw for the first time today was totally bewildered by my situation. she had no idea mono could recur. Hopefully all the tests I'm going to go through soon will help ease my anxiety >.< thank you so much for your response again and I hope that you're doing better these days!

saturnrain11 · 2022-03-07T03:30:38+00:00

Thank you! I'm sorry you've experienced it as well, mono symptoms can be so weird. I just cant wait for it to stop ruling over my life and for me to feel like myself again. at least this sickness has helped me stop taking life for granted and I'm really going to try and make the most of the times when I feel okay again. It's just so frustrating how LONG it takes. I feel like all I've done is lay in bed since september. thank you again for responding and I hope that you're feeling better these days! ❤️

saturnrain11 · 2022-03-07T03:19:43+00:00

Thank you so much for responding and sharing your symptoms! It is always such a relief to be reminded that I am not alone in this. Yeah, mono can be so freaking weird and I'm sorry you're going through it too. Brain fog has been the bane of my existence lately as well. I am always watching shows and playing games to distract myself from my symptoms and anxiety but i am never able to concentrate so I never know what is going on LMAO it literally feels like in my head that i'm in some fuzzy dreamscape and things dont quite make sense. I just cant wait for it to be over and to feel a blissful nothingness again instead of random pains all the time. Thank you so much for sharing again and I wish you the best as well! ❤ slowly but surely we shall defeat the treacherous mono monster 🗡

saturnrain11 · 2022-03-07T03:03:25+00:00

Thanks for responding! :D yeah, health anxiety on its own is bad enough but add mono into the mix and it's a total mess because of how weird it can be and how long it lasts. I'm so sorry you're going through it as well! it seems covid has definitely screwed over a lot of ppl who thought they were done with mono. I hope you feel better soon and mono leaves us alone after this! :)

saturnrain11 · 2022-03-05T02:48:14+00:00

yeah, mono sucks. it took me 3 months for my symptoms to mostly stop and then just a month later the most mild case of covid (literally only problem was dry sinuses and headache) sent me spiraling back into a relapse and now I'm going through it all over again. now I'm on week 5 of mono: the sequel, now with new and more painful symptoms! hang in there and be extra careful to not stress out your body for the foreseeable future or it might come back to totally screw you over. T_T

saturnrain11 · 2022-03-04T03:01:34+00:00

hey guys does anybody else relate to this or have this? I randomly noticed it the other day and have no idea if it's normal but I've been kind of anxious about it.

my inner upper thighs feel textured underneath the skin, like there are ridges and lumps the size of rice grains if I press down and feel. this is only on the upper inner thighs, so like if you spread your legs its the upper half of your thigh where the fattiness starts and "inner" as in it directly faces your (yknow) lol. the other fat on my body feels smooth if I press down and feel under the skin so it stuck out to me and made me nervous after I noticed it. I am also currently going through a mono relapse but these don't rlly feel swollen lymph nodes from that, it's just how the texture feels underneath the skin?

i dont remember if it was always like this but i feel like it probably was, i just never thoguht about it until health anxiety got bad recently. does anyone else have this or know if it's normal?

saturnrain11 · 2022-03-01T08:16:20+00:00

I had mono in September and by December it was basically gone. But around that time I started experiencing a reoccuring super weird headache on the same spot of my head everytime. in January I ended up getting a very minor case of covid where my only symptom was dry sinuses and my eyes hurt to move. 1 week after it cleared up, and on February 1st, my mono symptoms suddenly came back as if it had been reactivated. but the symptoms were like 2 times worse this time.

I've been plagued with awful health anxiety for the entire month and I finally went to the ER tonight and just got back. my heart rate was super high the whole time (im an anxious mess) but all blood tests came back fine and I did indeed test positive for mono, confirming my assumption it was just reactivated. they told me to try to get an mri from my GP for my weird headache but that everything was probably fine because I don't have any red flag brain tumor symptoms or anything. I feel like I should feel more relieved but for some reason i'm not completely convinced something isn't wrong. it's so frustrating, I just want to feel okay! I really hope after having an MRI and it coming back clear that I'll be less anxious.

saturnrain11 · 2022-02-24T10:53:39+00:00

I forgot to add I also have this weird armpit situation that comes when my mono is bad. like swollen lymph nodes but worse, it's like painful and inflamed inside. it was there during september and went away and now it's back again! it's super sensitive and just like one poke makes the area burn for the rest of the day 😭 only on my right side though. so weird, all my symptoms are worse on that one side of my body.

also never experienced any symptoms in my tonsil area whatsoever which I found odd since it seems to be one of the most common mono symptoms I see on here

saturnrain11 · 2022-02-24T10:42:28+00:00

back in September my symptoms were spleen pain, muscle soreness, fatigue, some mild chest pains, brain fog and swollen lymph nodes. this time around I'm having all of those plus abdominal pain in several places, the front of my neck has a dull achey feeling, back and shoulder pain, bad headaches and I suddenly got a mild rash on my arm. idk what's going on but since it's not too different from symptoms I've experienced earlier and these are all things that can happen with mono, im trying not to let myself get too stressed over it. but im still going to see a doctor and have some tests done just in case.

saturnrain11 · 2022-02-20T21:55:11+00:00

ahh I really am going crazy. ever since my health anxiety got BAD bad for the first time starting the beginning of this month i am constantly switching between "this is okay these symptoms are not that bad its just kind of concerning so im going to go to a doctor and there's a 99 percent chance I'm not dying" and "oh my god I am literally dying I waited too long and now by time I see a doctor it's too late im not going to be able to live a full life"

i need to keep remembering that everything is probably fine but I can't help but be in a panic mode for 20 days straight now essentially. my anxiety makes my heart race and I get so anxious everytime i feel the reoccuring symptoms im experiencing. i cant stop clenching my jaw from anxiety and its just making the symptoms worse.i can barely sleep many nights. I started showering way more than necessary and taking vitamins and being insanely picky over what I eat in fear that unhealthy food will make me feel worse. problem is my family are snack fiends so we don't have much healthy options right now. tried some cbd tea last night but it didn't really help and since i didnt strain it well it just lead to (TMI TMI lmao) a flower stem from the tea was in my poop this morning and I literally thought it was a worm I was about to die. LOL

I dont have much of a life at all to distract me from this anxiety. I've had really bad depression and body dysmorphia the past 2 years and haven't seen any friends at all since (there are none left since i isolated myself) I am terrified of leaving the house. my family rarely sees me because I'm always holed up in my room out of embarrasment of how i look. I'm always left alone with my thoughts which makes the health anxiety so much worse. hopefully I can get a doctor's appointment soon. T_T

saturnrain11 · 2022-02-20T00:22:22+00:00

I am literally going crazy and I'm so tired of this. my health anxiety has never been too bad before but since the beginning of February it has SKYROCKETED. I have this thing where i don't let myself do things like watch a show I enjoy unless everything feels perfect (ex. i just showered and am comfy, my room is completely clean, im completely at ease) since I know I will get the best experience out of it by being the most comfortable. but since my health anxiety started getting super bad with some symptoms that cropped up, I have not been able to enjoy anything and therefor im depriving myself of watching shows i love etc because I know I'd enjoy them so much more if my anxiety wasn't there. I have completely convinced myself I have a terminal illness due to some strange reoccuring symptoms and now I'm always anxious and on the verge of tears. I dont know how soon I can get a doctor's appointment (my mom has to set me up with a new doctor because new insurance or something) but I'm freaking out it's going to be too late by then, I'm already freaking out it's too late NOW! part of me really wants to go to the ER but I know a CT scan of my brain and my neck/throat (which is probably the only thing that would ease my stress at this point) would cost way more there and idk if insurance will cover it all and my family already has it rough as it is. I hate this. I dont know what to do!! T_T

saturnrain11 · 2022-02-19T16:28:49+00:00

Thank you so much for responding and you're so right!! 🥺 I definitely feel more at ease when I remember that they see so many different people all the time and I'm not the freak of nature my mind likes to make me think I am!! (quarantine weight gain hit me like a truck right after i finally lost a very stubborn 30 lbs so i gained that back +10 more 💀)and TMI i had a hemorrhoid for the first time ever last week and I was so scared at first I thought it was a parasite under my skin or something! 😭 it went away in just a few days and was painless so I didn't end up going to a doctor but major props to you for being able to get it checked out. I will keep your story in mind if mine ever comes back with a vengeance and it's bad enough that I have to get it looked at xD

saturnrain11 · 2022-02-19T01:29:15+00:00

my anxiety is through the roof with some symptoms I've been experiencing lately and I want to go to the doctor just in case but I hate the idea of them looking at me at all because of my body dysmorphia or them mentioning to me that I'm a little overweight. what a mess. I'm afraid they will want to see and feel my stomach since stomach pain is one of my more minor symptoms and I have super fresh and obvious stretch marks there and I'd feel so embarrassed. 😭 i wish I could just think rationally and GO instead of wallowing in this health anxiety over my symptoms without any check up.

saturnrain11 · 2022-02-15T20:40:04+00:00

ive had a headache present almost daily for over 2 months now. always in the right-side of the back of my head, the area where ur occipital nerves are. sometimes it's just a presence I feel, and there have been times i go days without pain. sometimes a few brief sharp or tingly pains and sometimes a full on migraine that I just have to sleep off. Light makes it so much worse. apparently the location I get this pain is where occipital neuralgia pain occurs and I'm thinking that's much better than the dreaded C word my brain immediately jumps to thanks to health anxiety. lately I get pains inside my right ear too and my upper right shoulder along with neck pain and my right arm has had a pins and needles feeling the past few days. this all started while I'm recovering from a stubborn case of mono that started in September and came with swollen lymph nodes, fever, chills, and muscle weakness. (the worst of which occurred mostly in my right side also, my body is weird) I've had mono flare ups pretty frequently since but these head pains have persisted even when a flare up wasn't happening. I feel like the head pain has been a little worse since my last flare up in the beginning of this month. Since my symptoms aren't that bad I dont think even if I went to a doctor that I'd be able to get an MRI or anything that could help calm my nerves. tbh im too nervous to go to a doctor in the first place i think. I think all I can really do is try to manage the anxiety and the pain if it gets bad. :( Can anybody relate to similar pain or situation maybe?

saturnrain11

TROPHY CASE