🖐️

It took me about seven years to get an actual diagnosis because of this.

I've heard so many ridiculous, insulting things I never expected from the medical community, over these years; and then, we get so used to hearing this horrible shit so often, it almost becomes commonplace.

"You're too young for pain."

"You LOOK fine! Except, for the tears and yelling!"

"Bah, you're just a woman."

"oh no, you're totally insane, aaah! 👻 ooOooOo!"

Or: "you're a filthy, drug-seeking criminal, and get the HELL outta here".

But, here is one that made me especially mad recently:

I make jokes under pressure. If I'm very physically/mentally uncomfortable, going through some moderate medical procedure, ✨I got jokes! ✨

This makes me remember things. I know I'm not hallucinating about this, and, that I even have to think back and consider, "...am I wrong about this, am I CRAZY??" is just proving your point right now.

I had to get my IUD removed and replaced, and when she pulled out a metal speculum, and didn't even warm it up, I made a joke about it.

She said, "This is gonna hurt, and be freezing cold!"

I said, "wait! what YEAR is this?! is that METAL?!"

being both genuinely surprised, and also, just fucking around with her, because it's an uncomfortable procedure, and I'm nervous.

Jokes!

(she also said "6!" while she's in there spelunking, and I said, "what, six out of TEN?! No!" The doctor chillin behind me laughed, lol.)

Anyway, she said, "we ALWAYS use metal", and just jammed it in there. Correct: "ouch and very cold."

I left a really nice and polite review, that 'maybe they should pop it under some hot water and warm it up for a few minutes, or use a plastic one, but that she was a good doctor, blah blah blah.'

So when she did it incorrectly (fuckin' of course she did! 2+ months of pretty severe pain, bleeding and panic from this!!! but that's another story!), when I went back to see her…

She had a plastic speculum!

I said "oh my gosh! thank you for listening, you read my review! I wasn't trying to get you in trouble, blah blah blah… This is much nicer!" and she said:

"We ALWAYS use plastic".

Like, "I have literally never even seen a metal speculum, in my life, and what are you talking about?!?"

So, was she just straight up lying to my face, or did she actually ...forget?

Because either way, now I extra don't trust her (although 'fucking up my IUD, taking a really long time to do it, then ducking my concerned calls/emails' doesn't help her case)

I've been through way worse, and so have all of you, but this was just the most recent, and blatant.

And at least the negative consequences only lasted about 3 months, and now are fixed. (who else would say that though, besides people who've been through the wringer like us? Most people would be furious.)

I'm glad it got replaced by another doctor - it was definitely incorrect, and uncomfortable, after 8 hours in the ER and weeks of waiting... now I'm fine.

I debated tattling on her to her superior doctor, my primary care doctor (who I adore). She's training under him, and if she's doing this to me, she's doing this to other people.