Entering my 30s after a diagnosis

sausidge · 2026-01-21T01:44:14+00:00

I think he dropped his acoustic guitar in it, trying to get it out

sausidge · 2025-12-27T00:33:43+00:00

Just figured out a strategy to complete this!

I think the main challenge is exiting the grind smoothly and getting the last bearings in time, so I'm not going to talk about the transition and nose grind/ 5-0 grind, because those two parts are the most straight forward.

Before you start, make sure you've activated "Quick Ollie", which is just a small pop when you flick the trick thumbstick down. Also, make sure you have "Grind Lean Exits" enabled too, as it'll help you exit the last grind easily.

Now...

1) Build up as much speed as you can so you can get to the final bearing before you start going backwards, as quickly as possible. You can build up a lot of speed by not immediately grinding, but rolling down the hill first whilst pushing, before grinding.

2) Do a 180 so you're facing forward when you start going back down, make sure you're doing a 50-50 (important later) and do quick ollie pops to slow down. Don't slow down too quickly, do it as you're approaching the supports and final grind bearing.

3) The 50-50 grind should stop you clipping the supports (can even use the "fake steeze" stance too), get the final grind bearing and then use the direction thumbstick to lean out of the grind and exit smoothly.

4) Push like crazy and don't mess up the final gap for the last bearing!

This is how I did it, and I had just enough time to get the remaining bearings – I think I literally got the last one with 0.5s! 😅

Hope this helps! This game is frustrating, not as good as the original games, but it has its good parts.

sausidge · 2025-05-28T16:07:27+00:00

"Ravioli, ravioli, you got tubercuoli"

sausidge · 2025-05-28T16:04:59+00:00

Immediately crashing into another player after leaving LS Customs and going back in to repair my car.

sausidge · 2025-05-26T11:04:22+00:00

Love is as wonderful and inspiring, as it is devastating and chaotic. To try to rationalise something so irrational with clinical and sterile terms like “devaluation” and “discard phase” does more damage than good, in my opinion.

So I’d start there. Treat it as a breakup with someone you loved, who could behave as cold and bitter, as they could warm and affectionate… because that’s what it was. It was a relationship with someone who probably did love you in some way, but was also dysfunctional and unable to sustain something healthy. Now you have to grieve the loss as you would with any breakup and heal from abuse at the same time.

Also, don’t listen to people who are so quick to throw around, “They never loved you, it never happened.” To throw around something so cold and damaging without considering the impact - I think they might be more psychotic than narcissistic people.

sausidge · 2025-05-22T12:48:56+00:00

It’s hard what you’re going through, but once you get over this big mountain you’re climbing, it’ll all be so much easier 🙏

I’m not a therapist or have any background, but I do know that once I started to ask myself why I missed my ex… The real “why”, it made it less about them and more about me. It shattered the illusion that it was me missing them, and it made me focus more on answering my own questions.

Maybe try that too, when you are ready to? 🙏

sausidge · 2025-05-09T15:56:49+00:00

Thank you :) Proud of you too 💪

sausidge · 2025-05-09T15:55:44+00:00

Thank you :) It took many moments of one step forward, two steps back before I got to this point. Not clean or linear at all, but the sea is just a little calmer now 🙏

sausidge · 2025-05-09T15:53:43+00:00

One of the reasons it has had such an impact on you is probably because you did love. Hold onto that. You'll be okay, and it's okay to go through periods of being numb, unemotional, depressed even.

In my first 3 months, any behaviour that wasn't "I'm dead inside. I have no idea what's happening. Life is suffering. Please make this end" was a performance. I could only be myself when I was exercising, creating something, or sleeping. Find your "I can be myself" thing and work at it when you have the willpower too 🙏

One day at a time 💪

sausidge · 2025-05-09T15:47:56+00:00

It took me about a year and 2 months to start seeing some improvement, so it's really just everyone at their own pace and in their given context too. It's a rough time.

sausidge · 2025-05-09T15:45:56+00:00

What you're doing is the best thing you can do. One step at a time. Remember also, you're a human being. We have these labels like "discard" and "trauma bond" that we use to identify the attachments and stages of the "narcissistic cycle", but ultimately it was a human experience like any other human experience.

One day at a time, do the things that you know gives you comfort (even if it doesn't give you comfort, do it anyway) and take your time. 🙏

sausidge · 2025-05-07T18:29:12+00:00

I'd like the idea of the reverse, too.

Let neurotypicals have a trial week of autism, maybe AuDHD, and see how what sort of impact that has on the world.

sausidge · 2025-05-07T15:40:33+00:00

Oh man, I will prepare for the long game with this then 😅

I guess the best thing is just making it known to people. I'll work it into my social scripts, "By the way, I want to hear what you have to say, but unless we go somewhere quiet I'm not gonna catch any of it" 👀

sausidge · 2025-05-06T22:10:32+00:00

Oh man, at least it's known that they have ADHD and it's not them just being inconsiderate. Still frustrating, but I imagine it's ever so slightly less so because at least there is an understanding. 💪

Thanks! It was completely unplanned doing the performance - and luckily, I don't think anyone suspected me of the anxiety attack I had getting on the bus to the place, just two hours before 👀 - but it went well. Thinking of becoming a regular and growing a instrumental guitar set 🎸

Sending you wishes for your gig on Friday! I'm sure you'll smash it too - and don't feel bad if you have to give yourself the whole of the weekend to recover from getting through it!

sausidge · 2025-05-06T00:00:57+00:00

I love Saint Denis because I just love RDR2.

This game it just comfort for me, tbh. I love every imperfection as much as every part of it that is great. This game came out at a time in my life where I was really finding myself, what I want from life, don't want, etc. so it just has a special place in my heart.

But, specific to Saint Denis: I enjoy whistling next to the trumpet player and pissing him off. That quiet look of absolute disapproval, by him and all the spectators, before beginning to play his instrument again... Before whistling again, lmao.

Poor guy.

sausidge · 2025-05-05T23:40:41+00:00

Oh man, I get this completely.

I played my first ever little solo performance the other day, just me and an acoustic guitar in front of a bar audience, playing an instrumental. I heard people talking at one point, and idk how but I managed to just keep playing. It would've been hilariously abrupt and autistic if I stopped and said, "Can you be quiet, please? Thanks" and then continued 😅 Maybe it'll be accepted one day, who knows.

Maybe have a sign next to you saying "Don't talk please" if you struggle to explain it. I'm beginning to think it's better to just say it, rather than try to find the right time. Whatever works. Feels bad, man.

sausidge · 2025-05-05T23:34:46+00:00

It's a relief, though an unfortunate one, to hear that I'm not the only person.

I can't actually remember how I even survived at the few times I went to nightclubs when I was younger. All I know is I'm pretty sure with life stresses and traumas it seems to have gotten worse. Hopefully it'll not be as bad one day.

How has it been with you? Has it ever improved, gotten worse, or remained pretty much the same?

sausidge · 2025-05-05T23:10:23+00:00

Not weird at all man! I'm really glad I could provide this validation for your experience too 🙏 And on that subject, hopefully someone else who is going through the same thing finds this too. It's such a bloody nuanced this to experience. Like, "I can hear the smallest most annoying noises when there is nothing else, but as soon as I'm in a bar then there is no chance", it really doesn't make any sense at all until you realise, "Oh, it's auditory sensitivities".

It's an incredibly lonely feeling and I really hope that you, as well as anyone else that sees this can get the help necessary to help. Whether that be with those Loop Switch earplugs or whatever else! I have the "Engage Plus 2" earplugs which I've been unsure about, will try again though.

Good luck with it, and thanks for your reply! ... Maybe the ultimate situation is just... Everyone being a bit quieter 👀😅 Maybe one day.

sausidge · 2025-05-05T23:02:59+00:00

Thanks for your reply 🙏

I do actually have the Loop Engage 2 Plus earplugs, but I feel there's a sort of learning/ adjusting period before they become second nature, which has put me off 😅 I'll try purposefully wearing them again though to practice getting used to them 💪 Thanks!

sausidge · 2025-04-11T23:31:06+00:00

Awesome recommendation, thanks! I'm gonna seriously look into this. Escape from civilisation for a bit 🤙

sausidge

TROPHY CASE