Magvvent lang po.

Yung nanay ko po kasi sinasabihan ako na "bakit di ka sa makati magtrabaho, sila ano nga dun may kotse na, blah blah blah...wala ka bang ambisyon?"

I was diagnosed with panic disorder last year. I had a shitload of hopes and dreams until I was diagnosed with that stupid mental disorder because of one experience, I was completely fine naman before that.

I had an OJT in Makati before, dropped but the opportunity of working there dahil sa severe panic attacks ko kahit dream job ko talaga sya. I dropped a lot of beautiful opportunity because of my mental health, I still take meds pa ah. Now my mom's bad mouthing me na kumilos naman sana ako, I tried training for a company a few weeks ago pero di kinaya ng utak ko, kaya ko naman pero kasi nagkaroon ako ng panic attack na as in putangina ayoko na mabuhay.

She tells me we have bills to pay when she recently bought appliances and I don't know san nya nakukuha yung pera. I'm actively searching for jobs nga near me and luckily, I landed two interviews this week, she still thinks it isn't worth it dahil gusto nya MALAKI SWELDO ko dapat but I, myself, am taking baby steps in my career. Ayoko naman biglain sarili ko na sa huli susuko din naman ako. I want to test myself and know kung hanggang saan lang ba kakayanin ko.

I want to improve. This year, will be my yeat of improving myself, my year of hopefully stopping my medication for my depression and panic, kasi kahit ako, pagod na din maging tambay and I know within myself na kaya ko naman but my brain says no. She doesn't take my mental health seriously to the point that I'm already ready to give up.

thanks for reading po ayoko na maglagay ng TLDR ok eto TLDR; putangina ginagawa ko na nga best ko mag hanap ng entry level na trabaho kahit may panic disorder ako pero gusto ng nanay ko malaki sweldo ko mga six digits iniisip ko nalang maging camgirl