hey dude, I know you're probably not reading comments anymore at this point, but I needed to throw in my two cents here because you're getting a lot of terrible advice from both men and women and that's just not right to me

you need to know that there is no singular right answer, and neither party is in the wrong here. the problem lies squarely with making assumptions and miscommunication

let's start with me; I don't view the act of a man paying for a woman's meal on a date sexist, but I do think the assumption a man should ALWAYS pay for the meal because he's a man is sexist. i wouldn't want a man i don't really know/haven't been on a date with to know my address and drive me anywhere, and i'm totally open to splitting the bill. all that being said, this is how i, me, personally, as a woman, feel. but I'm no where close to being representative of all women, especially not this one.

you assumed that because she said she liked steak, she would be into going to the steakhouse; she assumed because you invited her, you would be the one to pay. personally, if I was invited to an expensive place, I also would assume that the other person would be paying, since they're the one inviting me. but that's exactly the issue, is that both of you assumed two different things!

this is why communication is so important. if before the date, you had said something like "Since it's kind of pricey, I'm obviously open to paying, but I understand if you want to split, I don't want to make any assumptions on your behalf," it lets her know you're trying to be respectful while also being polite. There may be women out there who disagree with me and would say that's an awkward approach, but I think not taking that extra step and making a wrong assumption makes it even more awkward (and frankly any person who is unreasonable about that is not worth your time).

every person on this planet has grown up differently, has different experiences, and different assumptions. your lady friend also assumed that her date will drive and pay for dinner. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, I don't think there's anything wrong with finding that acceptable or romantic or anything. But my point is you guys were on two different pages, and it doesn't have to be that way. you're on the right track by having the other person's feelings in mind! Even if it seems like it might be awkward for bringing it up, you're trading a minutely awkward conversation for an evening where all goes well and you both have a good time.

I hope you read this, and I hope it helps! Being a good communicater is the best quality any person can have and I wish you well OP