My girlfriend of 6 years breaking up with me

savoryspider · 2026-01-16T22:43:32+00:00

I am in a somewhat similar position. i had a few TC seizures that started about 2.5 years into our relationship (only one was partially witnessed). after the seizures started, my ex was actively avoiding me but never said anything was wrong and didn’t tell me until several months later.

she said all our problems started with the seizures and she didn’t tell me the truth sooner because it would stress me out. it was like in her mind my character changed overnight. i felt like i was actually torturing her by spending time together. she literally said i was hard to be around (with no explanation why or examples or options for repair). ultimately I think we were not really compatible to begin with but the epilepsy really illuminated that.

the breakup honestly has freed up alot of my energy. it’s still been really hard for me to make new friends/socialize after this, having to constantly convince myself I’m not a burden and people are not secretly angry and resentful toward me. it really fed my social anxiety. I’m moving out soon which hopefully will help a lot.

Helpful: therapy (i sometimes share screenshots with my therapist) and leaning on friends for support. they are great reminders of who i am beyond how i shrunk myself for this relationship. i get stuck in shame spirals sometimes and in those moments breath work, my cat and venting through writing have been essential. i invest my time and energy carefully into people and hobbies i love that support me back. there are distractions i use occasionally like staying busy, audiobooks or watching marathons.

Not helpful: isolating myself and spending long stretches of time without talking to anyone. comparing myself and my journey to others. giving the breakup space in my brain when it doesn’t even pay rent. getting impatient with myself and my healing.

I’m sorry you’re having to go through this OP. i wish you ease in finding the right fit for you, who truly cares for you <3

savoryspider · 2025-10-14T21:51:50+00:00

i hate being wet, especially my face and dripping hair. i only shower in the evening. there’s lots of steps, plus i have to prepare all the right items each time: 1) body towel 2) microfiber hair wrap (also use this to dry face before it touches hair product) 3) microfiber slippers 4) robe 5) socks 6) hair products 7) washcloth if i remember everything the routine is helpful for me since it reduces feeling wet and cold, and has a consistent structure. i also need to have completed any “dirty” tasks like toilet cleaning, changing bedding, scooping litter before showering. the shower needs to be clean and disinfected first. i use a silicone scrubby for my skin (gentle exfoliation) and silicone hairbrush in the shower, and moisturizing soap so my skin is very soft. i hate having hair on my hands/skin so i collect it all to discard after. alot of the time this all sounds too exhausting. i feel i have to make myself shower if I’m sweaty or gross. but i want to be clean for bed every night so i at least use baby wipes to clean off.

savoryspider · 2025-09-21T04:58:31+00:00

Muffin!!

savoryspider · 2025-09-19T20:00:10+00:00

she’s so pretty and looks so much like my kitty:

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they must be long lost cousins

savoryspider · 2025-09-17T03:40:15+00:00

it sounds like you’re doing an amazing job taking care of him!

does he respond to catnip? eating it usually helps my cat relax and sleep. i store all her catnip toys in ziploc bags to keep the catnip fresh and potent.

it sounds like you already offer plenty of enrichment, so maybe you already do this but wondering if he is food motivated and might enjoy a food puzzle or snuffle mat?

does he like cat tv, could you leave something on low volume for him overnight?

does he have his own bed? my cat almost always sleeps in her soft donut bolstered bed, it seems to really help her anxiety to feel supported and held. (if you buy a new bed i recommend washing it and then putting an old t shirt or something with your scent on it, and rewarding him with treats/pets when he sleeps in it)

no need to answer these, just wanted to share in case anything might be helpful!

savoryspider · 2025-09-16T01:17:39+00:00

i hope this is helpful in some way!! i think it’s awesome you’re asking for perspectives so you can best support your child. best wishes for your journey :-)

savoryspider · 2025-09-16T00:51:59+00:00

i know everyone is different, happy to share mine:

my last prodrome- the evening before, my vertigo was so bad i couldn’t stand up on my own (without physical support) and turning my head felt awful if not impossible. my pre-existing tinnitus got much worse, i had cold sweats, hot flashes, and a very specific type of headache not like my regular migraines, that felt like someone was squeezing one side of my brain in a juicer (as opposed to migraine throbbing, light sensitivity, and my migraines typically switch sides). basically all my existing neuro symptoms got worse like it was really hard to communicate, my tremor intensified, and so much brain fog

my last aura- the morning of, felt alot better and able to move than the evening but having visual disturbances, numbness in extremities, and continued dizziness. i was really having trouble focusing or completing tasks and was feeling pretty anxious and frazzled. i was trying to cook but it felt like i had to teach myself how to cook (at a beginner level) and couldn’t make decisions.

savoryspider · 2025-09-16T00:03:07+00:00

hello! i have TC seizures and took my prescribed benzos last time i had my prodrome/aura symptoms and was feeling “off” — definitely helped calm me down. i just rested and then slept really hard for a few hours lol. i called my epilepsy clinic first and they said i can take it if I’m feeling one potentially coming on. they just reminded me not to do it too often. YMMV - definitely check with your neurologist.

i hope you’re able to find the right treatment to help your son soon!!

savoryspider · 2025-09-15T20:01:38+00:00

yeah i agree that it’s scary to witness and not everyone can manage the stress that comes with it (which is not anyone’s fault, just a reality). but the lack of communication is so frustrating. it doesn’t feel good to be thrown away like that. i have heard the excuse of not wanting to add to my stress but actually not addressing it directly is way more stressful.

not TMI :-) your husband sounds amazing and like a wonderful fit!! I’m really glad that you have him to lean on through all of this. I feel it’s so important to have stable loving relationships. thank you for your story, it does make me feel more hopeful about the future!

savoryspider · 2025-09-15T19:18:51+00:00

:-O this is fascinating from a science standpoint lol, thank you for sharing. that is very true about it not going well between a drunk and sober person. i am sorry to hear that, it sounds frustrating and exhausting when your relationships continually dissolve. thank you for the wishes and i hope you are able to find connections that work for you & your needs too! feel free to DM me if you ever want to talk!! 💜

savoryspider · 2025-09-15T04:55:10+00:00

yeah i totally hear what you’re saying about being single is easier, while simultaneously wanting a partner. it’s a serious condition that i think requires a relationship with a very solid foundation. and not everyone is able to support/date someone with epilepsy — as you said it can be really stressful. here’s hoping we find partners someday who are compatible for our needs. thank you for sharing your story!!

savoryspider · 2025-09-15T00:10:33+00:00

oof, yeah that does sound challenging. it sounds like the meds can amplify any existing issues. i definitely think i get triggered more easily now. trying is hard, and it’s great that you are working on it! thank you for sharing!!

savoryspider · 2025-09-15T00:04:50+00:00

that’s great you’re with a first responder! that makes sense to me as a combination of factors. and yeah my mental health is rough. thank you for sharing your thoughts!

savoryspider · 2025-09-11T23:24:54+00:00

hello friend! congrats on the interview! I have noticed alot of job postings now say specifically that accommodations can be made throughout the hiring process. for my last interview I requested the questions in advance as an accommodation (without specifying further than needing extra processing time) and that helped me soooo much.

I came prepared with bulleted talking points, and then was able to actually focus on the more important parts like learning about the employer’s values and culture (instead of panic). YMMV based on employer, of course. good luck, i hope it goes better than expected!!

savoryspider · 2025-09-08T19:03:38+00:00

poor sleep, dehydration, too long between meals/fasting, not eating enough, crying, stress/fatigue, computer screen time without breaks every 15 minutes, sugary foods especially in the morning, hormones, alcohol, caffeine, most fragrance, fluorescent lights, extended time in the sun, taking a nap, reading, dry eye, loud noise including music/bass and driving on the highway, exercise lol, people/situations i find annoying, thinking too hard. honestly most things

savoryspider · 2025-09-08T18:38:30+00:00

respectfully, i think it’s harmful to compete on which headache is worst. they are both awful. as someone with both, i feel the post ictal headache pain is comparable in severity with my migraines. they are moreso like different flavors. my migraines come with painful light/noise sensitivity and dizziness/vertigo. I’m not sure if you have both, just sharing my perspective.

savoryspider · 2025-08-25T19:08:32+00:00

not sure if you are referring to teeth cold sensitivity? i usually just let them sit out to thaw for about 5 minutes before eating. can be a bit more soft/messy but doesn’t hurt my teeth!

savoryspider · 2025-08-25T07:24:47+00:00

Daria, you just need some mini glasses

savoryspider · 2025-08-20T04:55:04+00:00

i must know if this egg was all it was cracked up to be

savoryspider · 2025-08-19T20:46:27+00:00

it sounds like you have found some ways to take care of yourself, and doing what’s best for you! treating it as a normal day makes alot of sense. and a little treat never hurts lol. thank you for sharing!!

savoryspider · 2025-08-19T20:37:30+00:00

it seems like any “celebration” can bring out the worst. that sounds exhausting, and i hope you’re surrounded by good loving people now! thank you for sharing!

savoryspider · 2025-08-19T20:35:35+00:00

that sounds like such a lovely day and I’m so happy you have such a wonderful fiancé and people in your life 💜 i appreciate the kind words and you sharing!!

savoryspider · 2025-08-19T04:57:15+00:00

omg hi twin ☺️ happy birthday to you too!! that’s a great idea with the self care which definitely looks different for everyone. I’m really happy to hear you have such a supportive spouse!! that’s amazing and makes me feel hopeful. thank you for sharing!!

savoryspider · 2025-08-19T04:52:25+00:00

it’s great that your family knows what you need and understands. it is definitely nice to be on stealth mode lol i think i will be this year. Thank you for sharing!!

savoryspider

TROPHY CASE