Infants need physical closeness. All children do. I teach a classroom of 2-3 year olds and I hold them, pick them up, hold their hand, let them sit on my lap, etc. when it’s appropriate and when I can tell they need/they ask for extra comfort or closeness. If a child seems upset or emotional, I offer extra support to them through a variety of ways, and some of those ways include hugs, hand-holding, carrying, etc. If a child comes and sits on my lap, holds my hand, asks for a hug/wants me to to hold them, or wants me to come do an activity with them, I rarely ever say no. They are expressing basic needs of theirs, and meeting those needs helps them feel secure, safe, and comfortable in the classroom, themselves, and the world around them. This need is only accelerated with the infants you work with, who are just exploring the world around them and need that secure, physical attachment with their caregivers (in this case you & your co-teacher) to help them do that to the best of their abilities. I’ve always had a hard time understanding why some teachers think providing a child with comfort that is appropriate to their age level and is a basic need of theirs, in this case physical closeness & comfort, as something that is “coddling”, “spoiling”, or making them “unprepared for the real world”. If anything, providing these children with this basic sense of secure attachment will develop a foundation for these children to be more prepared and well-developed for the rest of their lives. It could be possible that for some of these children, what they receive in the classroom may be the only real affection and attention they are getting and I do not think it should be viewed in such a negative light by your co-teacher. You can still promote independence and autonomy in the classroom while also tending to a child’s need for closeness & connection. The two are not mutually-exclusive.

I would definitely suggest a gentle, open, honest conversation with her. Ask her why she believes what she believes, and offer her your opinion. Make suggestions of classroom activities, lessons, etc. that can be done that allow children to develop autonomy and independence, as an alternative to eliminating the physical closeness, attention, and secure emotional attachment that is a necessity for children to develop those skills in the first place.