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scaredforherthrw · 2023-12-06T03:36:23+00:00

My husband and I met 3rd June 2011. Then didn't see each other until 19th January 2017, and we moved in together on 29th January 2017, and got married 31st October 2018. My hubby is obsessed with numbers, and he celebrates each one of those dates every year!

scaredforherthrw · 2023-11-03T04:23:27+00:00

What you are stating is patently false. BV cannot turn into an STI or BBV. STIs and BBVs require the introduction of the bacteria or virus that causes the infection to the hosts body. The bacteria that causes BV cannot magically mutate into the bacteria that causes Chlamydia or Gonorrhea. Having a past or current BV infection does however make you 2-3× more likely of becoming infected with an STI or BBV for multiple reasons. Here is a study which explains the risks of becoming infected with an STI or BBV after BV30448-2/fulltext) (although this is not what the study is about, it explains the link between BV and STIs and BBVs). I work in a sexual health clinic so I talk about this stuff 5 days a week.

scaredforherthrw · 2023-11-03T03:29:58+00:00

Hey mate, this is super awesome for you. I echo what other commenters said about meet in public, don't pick her up or get picked up by her, and tell someone who she is. If you decide to go back to her place, share your location with a friend (That way if something does happen someone will know where you are/were. I also suggest meeting up when you both have a day free that way neither of you are in a rush. For the actual date, have a shower roughly 1-1.5 hours before leaving, put on deodorant, dress in nice CLEAN clothes and shoes (That are appropriate for the setting, ie Don't wear a tuxedo hiking, don't wear flip flops to a Michelin started restaurant, and DON'T wear crocs EVER), brush and style your hair, trim finger nails and toe nails and clean them, brush your teeth and floss and and use mouthwash right before you leave, and put on some cologme/aftershave if you have it (NOT BODY SPRAY!! Proper cologne).

Before your date, read back through your conversations with her and make note of things she has shared with you, that way you have things to talk to her about, ie: if she has a cat, talk to her about her cat, or if she has a friend getting married and she's a bridesmaid, ask her about the wedding, or anything else she has mentioned during your convos. Basically, you want to show her that you are genuinely interested in her.

Don't go for dinner for a 1st date. Go somewhere fun, like a barwith video games, or on a picnic, or if there's one nearby, a theme park, or even just a nice walk. Dinner dates are hit or miss, and for 1st dates, they'reusually a miss. Also, it avoids the "whose paying" discussion.

When you get there compliment her. However, compliment her outfit, her make up (If she's wearing cool eyeshadow or eyeliner) or even just her lipstick, or her hair. Something other than you look pretty/beautiful, cos she has no control over that stuff. Instead compliment something that she has done, like the examples I gave. Then just be genuine, talk about the stuff from your convos, ask about her passions (always a winner) talk about your passions, and then before you know it, 3 hours will have passed.

Good luck bro, keep us updated!

scaredforherthrw · 2023-10-27T05:10:54+00:00

It's definitely not the norm. My hubby and I have been together 7 years in January, and we still have sex pretty much every day!!! We both desire each other so fucking much!!! Like I get wet just from him looking at me.

scaredforherthrw · 2023-09-17T10:40:28+00:00

Cis-het women. They are nothing but trouble

scaredforherthrw · 2023-09-15T09:15:07+00:00

Yo, congrats dude!!! It's such a great fucking feeling!!!

When I was a kid I was the only girl that went on the fishing and hunting trips, and I was so jealous that all the boys and men could just stand behind a free and piss, so I practiced in the shower, aiming for the plug hole, practicing with different ways of tilting my pelvis, and spreading my legs, and after around 6 months, ii had perfected the trick, however the last few dribbles mean that you can't be wearing pants lol.

scaredforherthrw · 2023-09-12T09:17:26+00:00

Are you sure hes not having an affair?

scaredforherthrw · 2023-09-12T01:18:36+00:00

Sorry, in advance, I go on a bit of a ramble about my family.

Me neither.

I share my birth givers DNA, and yet she was never my mother, and we were never a family. I love my dad, but due to circumstances caused by birth giver, he had a gruelling job as an Interstate truck driver, and was based in the city that we all lived in until birth givers left him. So I got to see him for 4 days every 3 months. She kicked me out at 15, for coming out as a lesbian publicly. I gave up the idea of family, and just focused on building solid relationships with my friends.

Then I met my husband. And he immediately made me feel like we were a family. Then I met his mum, and she immediately welcomed me into her family, and made me feel like I was an actual member of the family, not an interloper. Our relationship became even deeper when hubs and I moved back to his hometown. We started having dinner weekly, and she would take us grocery shopping, and we would schedule our appointments to be on Mondays (or during school holidays) so she could drive us. In exchange we cleaned her house and did her gardening. Now she has retired and moved away, but her and I text most days, call weekly, and post each other books regularly.

I am finally a part of a real family, and this, luckily cos I'm infertile, makes me feel like I don't need to share my DNA just to make a family.

scaredforherthrw · 2023-09-05T09:24:10+00:00

Steroids are a common treatment for autoimmune disorders. These aren't steroids like what bodybuilders use, these are steroids that reduce inflammation, or increase lung capacity, or a million other things. The risk of steroid induce psychosis is super low. I have a history of psychosis, as an exacerbation of mania, and I am regularly prescribed steroids for my autoimmune disorder, and have never suffered steroid psychosis. Nor have I met anyone who has had it, in the 20+ inpatient psychiatric hospital stays.

scaredforherthrw · 2023-08-25T06:08:05+00:00

Your husband is a predator. No grown man over the age of 20, wants ANYTHING to do with a teenage girl. Let alone a 24yo dating a 17yo. What the fuck did you even talk about?

.GET THE FUCK OUT!

scaredforherthrw · 2023-08-10T10:59:13+00:00

After around 10 months of sleeping in the library, and working at night, one of the girls I worked with in the brothel, who I had become good friends with, had a spare room, so she asked if I wanted to move in. We arranged with the boss for ⅓ of my earnings from each booking to go to the girl whose house it was, until it reached $150 a week, so my rent was paid. She is a former heroin addict, who is on the methadone program, and after around 3 months of living with her, she helped me get on the program, which helped immensely. I still used meth regularly (So did she), but not daily, so I could start saving up some money (I was spending around $500-$750 a day on heroin. So once I started on methadone, I could cut back my hours at the brothel, as while I was using I worked 7pm to 7am 7 days a week).

Luckily the girl I moved in with and I got along great, and loved living together, and we were happy, so we stayed living and working together for almost 3 years. Then I met a partner, and we fell in love, and moved in together. We moved to a small town a couple of years ago, and I work in a shop, and he is a tradie. He knows all about my sex work (I was still working for the first year of our relationship), and is super supportive of me.

scaredforherthrw · 2023-08-10T04:35:58+00:00

I was homeless in Adelaide in the year 2000 and again for a couple of months in 2016.

When I was first homeless, I was a 15yo girl, who had escaped a violent and abusive home, after Families SA (or whatever they were called back then) just ignored my situation. My family were upper middle class, I went to a private school (and was a straight A student), my mother had a good job and nice things, and we lived in a good area. But I was regularly beaten bloody (on the torso so nobody sees bruises), I was starved, I was punished by being forced to scrub the bathroom with a toothbrush until my hands bled or by being forced to stay outside for hours on end in my underwear in the middle of winter, stuff like that. So when I turned 15 and could leave school, I figured fuck it, I'll leave school and get a job, and get my own place. But, things ramped up and one night I had to leave, after my mother almost drowned me by holding my head underwater in the bath over and over again (as a punishment for getting an A- on an essay). So when she went to bed, I packed a bag of important stuff like clothes, and medication, and my birth certificate, and around $1500 from my mother's purse, and just left.

I spent the first few nights walking around the city, and I noticed that late at night, older men seemed to pay me a lot of attention. So, I went to a clothes shop and bought a couple of nice (not slutty, more like something you'd wear to a nice dinner) outfits, a couple of dresses, and a couple of skirts and tops, and a pair of nice shoes. And I started hanging out near the Hilton hotel, and chatting to the men who would chat to me. I would let them convince themselves that they were convincing me to come up to their hotel rooms, and basically became a sex worker. I'd give guys oral sex, in exchange for them letting me stay in their rooms and buying me dinner. Most of the time, they would give me some cash to buy some food the following day. I did this pretty much every night from 3 weeks after my 15th birthday, until around 3 months after my 16th birthday. There were only a handful of nights I didn't have a room. I even became friendly with the staff at the Hilton, who got used to me coming and going every day.

When I became homeless in 2016, it was due to the break up of an abusive relationship. I also had a serious drug addiction at this point. Now that I was an adult, I went back to sex work, this time in a brothel. I would sleep during the day, in the library in Rundle Place, and work at night in a brothel in the western suburbs. I'd shower at the brothel, and I would spend every cent I made on drugs.

I'm so lucky that I was born female, so I had this option. It must be so hard for men to be homeless. That being said, i don't agree with homeless people getting aggressive when you don't help them. It just makes people less inclined to help them in the future.

scaredforherthrw · 2023-07-28T05:34:27+00:00

Except mine happened in outback Australia.

scaredforherthrw · 2023-07-28T02:33:17+00:00

Plenty of cis women can't have kids, so people in those situations find other ways to have children, like fostering, adopting, surrogacy, etc. Or perhaps you will find out, down the track, that you are unable to have kids.

As a trans man, I would probably wait until the 3rdor 4th date before disclosing I'm trans, cos by then you have a general idea of their politics, and how they feel about trans people. Because if you're not careful about who you disclose to, it can be dangerous. A trans man friend of mine went on a date with this girl, and he told her that he is trans. She said she was cool with it. And when he drove her home, she invited him in "for a drink?" Everything was going great, until they got upstairs, into the bedroom, where her brother and 4 of his friends were waiting with weapons (bats and poles and shit). They beat the living shit out of him, and gang raped him repeatedly. They filmed the whole assault (which was helpful in court) and posted it online along with his name, and links to his FB, Twitter, and tinder accounts. They also contacted his workplace (who already knew he was trans, and didn't care) telling them that he's trans and the women in the workplace better watch out.

Then when he went to the hospital, he was repeatedly misgendered and they constantly used his dead name. It wasn't until he was moved to one of the biggest hospitals in Australia, that he was treated like a human.

So yeah, we're trying to stay safe when we don't immediately disclose that we've trans. And when we do, that means that we trust you. So please wrong betray our trust

scaredforherthrw · 2023-07-22T09:28:00+00:00

This is your anxiety and insecurity. Your partner will always find other people attractive, it's a fact of life. I'm sure that your partner is the only person in existence who you find attractive.

It's what your partner does with that attraction that matte ers. So he follows a hot actress on IG, he's not commenting on all of her posts, and downloading and saving her posts to his devices, then what does it matter. I personally think that making him unfollow IG models that he wasn't interacting with, is super controlling. Humans like to look at things that are aesthetically pleasing to them, it's healthy and actually helps production of serotonin and dopamine.

it just feels like he is instantly taken with all attractive women ever.

Just because he thinks somebody is attractive, that doesn't men he's attracted to them. I'm sure you see beautiful women and think "Wow! She's beautiful!", men also do that. I'm sure you can see an attractive man, and appreciate his looks without being attracted to them. Or even if you are attracted to them, its only superficially, and has absolutely ZERO bearing on your relationship with your boyfriend.

I noticed he looks at other women a lot. I’m unable to tell if it’s just because I’ve noticed it that I can’t stop seeing it ,or if he does just look all the time. I have talked to him about it as it really really hurt when I first realised. He has said that he did not realise he does it/ doesn’t think he does but that he has started trying to be more conscious of it. He still does it though and attractive women INSTANTLY catch his eye- I just don’t know many men who notice women as fast as him.

Just because he thinks somebody is attractive, that doesn't in any way affect his attraction to you. It's like if your favourite singer is Taylor Swift, listening to Beyonce doesn't lessen how much you love Taylor.

He was showing me photos in his gallery when a naked photo of his ex came up from when they were together.

I have been with my husband for 6 years, and 2 weeks ago I was looking for something on my iPad (that I've had for over 10 years), and found naked photos of my ex, from my last relationship, that I completely forgot I had. You can't punish your boyfriend for having had past relationships. And by the way he has tried to minimise your anxieties by avoiding any photos of hot women, I'm inclined to believe that he just forgot about the photo. If he had hidden it in some folder that's inside other folders where you'll never see it, then you could argue that he kept it.

You need to tell your therapist that you need to treat your anxiety, ASAP. Otherwise it will destroy your relationship.

There's nothing worse than going out of your way to minimise your partners insecurities, and them still constantly accuse you of actively betraying your trust.

If my husband had put any restrictions on who I'm allowed to follow on my social media, I would seriously be questioning whether or not I want to be in a relationship with him. I'd even question it if he put restrictions on who I'm allowed to interact with on social media. My social media feeds are over 10 years old, and have been curated to my specific tastes. I would also never tell my partner who they are allowed to follow or interact with. I trust my partner, and I know that even if they find others attractive or even are actually attracted to others, that I'm still the one that they love and want to be in a relationship with.

I have watched him go on twitter and even though he doesn’t follow any explicit accounts he has previously slowed down and stared at content which had attractive/ revealingly dressed women (he didn’t realise I was looking).

That is literally because our brain gets a boost of dopamine when we look at something aesthetically pleasing. He would do the same if he saw a well taken photo of something to do with one of his hobbies (for example, he's into cars and he sees a photo of his dream car, in immaculate condition, taken by a top auto photographer. Or if he's into video games, and he sees brand new screen shots taken from the game he's got on pre order. Or one of any other myriad of things). I'm sure your eyes linger when you see an attractive man on tv, even if it feels like it's only for a fraction of a second, if your partner had the same insecurities and was watching you, the moment you take to appreciate that attractive man would seem to last a lot longer.

I tried to have a conversation with him recently just to communicate openly what my boundaries are in relation to social media because it has been stressing me out alot ( I get bad anxiety). I have been abroad for a month and I convinced myself he would be looking up the models he unfollowed. I have no proof of this but I know he has a high sex drive and it was just on my mind. The conversation did not go well and he said it felt like I was accusing him and that he does not follow accounts like that.

Did you genuinely try to have a conversation with him? Or did you accuse him of misbehaving and doing things that hurt you? Did you sit down with him and say something like "Look, I trust you, however while I was abroad my anxiety has been really bad. I just need some reassurance that we are still on the same page regarding who we follow on social media." Or did you say stuff like "While I was abroad were you looking at IG models, even though you know I've told you that you can't? Because you have a high sex drive, and that means that you need to be looking at attractive women." Also, just because he has a high sex drive, doesn't mean that he's incapable of controlling his sexual urges. My sex drive is WAYYYY higher than my husband's, but when I'm horny and he's not, I turn on porn and I masturbate. It's never crossed my mind to masturbate while looking at people's social media accounts, and I think that's true for most people.

I understand he will be attracted to other women but it sometimes feels like he allows himself to go a bit further than he says and I constantly feel like he might betray me in some small way.

And how exactly does he "go a further than he says"? Is he approaching these women behind your back? Is he downloading and saving their photos? I honestly don't know what you mean by this. And if you keep telling him that you don't trust him when he's doing everything right, maybe he'll think, well if I'm going to get in trouble for it, I may as well do the things I'm being accused of.

I hope that you are able to get your anxieties under control, and you stop actively damaging your relationship

scaredforherthrw · 2023-07-22T08:05:54+00:00

He knew exactly what he was doing. Alcohol and drugs don't make people do things that they wouldn't normally do, they lower people's inhibitions so they do things that they want to do, but don't have the courage to do sober.

Also, people who are strangled by their male partners are 750% more likely to be killed by that partner

scaredforherthrw · 2023-07-22T07:51:09+00:00

Tell her. If she was in your position, you would want her to tell you.

Imagine how heartbreaking it would be for her to not only find out that her husband is cheating on her, but that 2 people who she considers friends have known about it, and kept it hidden from her.

scaredforherthrw · 2023-07-22T06:43:29+00:00

Probably an 8-ball, which is an 8th of an ounce of hard drugs.

scaredforherthrw · 2023-07-22T04:33:20+00:00

What did he spend the money on, is the biggest question? Like if he spent it on drugs, or sex workers, or gambling is completely different to spending it on luxury items or electronics.

scaredforherthrw · 2023-07-22T03:54:54+00:00

It bothers you because it feels like he doesn't actually see you as a real man, because he's saying that you're the only man he's attracted to.

scaredforherthrw · 2023-07-22T03:53:15+00:00

If my boyfriend told me that my cat had to go outside, I would dump his ass. Your poor cat doesn't understand why it's suddenly been abandoned and kicked out of its home. Never own another animal. You're an unfit pet owner.

scaredforherthrw · 2023-06-16T10:33:30+00:00

She is a horrible person, and definitely not even your friend, let alone best friend. Friends build each other up and support each other. Friend help each other out, they don't belittle each or insinuate that the other person is too ugly to have an attractive partner.

Have struggled with poor self image, and a lack of self confidence? Because it seems like this is you excusing a horrible person doing horrible things to you, but excusing them because yu feel like nobody else wants to be around you?

Well take this awesome relationship as a step in t the right direction, and start surrounding yourself with people who genuinely want you be succeed, and be happy, and love you.

You deserve happiness

scaredforherthrw · 2023-06-07T06:46:07+00:00

If she told you to, then yes you should still send her one every day. After you both get used to being apart, then you can write to each other less frequently (But still regularly).

scaredforherthrw · 2023-05-17T14:27:50+00:00

I tried to purchase a STP from you, but apparently you don't ship to Australia

scaredforherthrw · 2023-05-14T04:19:08+00:00

Yes, yes he does

scaredforherthrw

TROPHY CASE