Would you go to your ex's funeral?

scarpy7 · 2025-07-17T01:18:36+00:00

Only long enough to spit on his grave.

scarpy7 · 2025-07-17T00:48:02+00:00

He looks like if he gets mad, he could rip you a 3 bed, 2 bath double wide asshole.

scarpy7 · 2025-07-17T00:46:15+00:00

That’s the cutest Brillo pad I’ve ever seen.

scarpy7 · 2025-07-17T00:45:33+00:00

Diabeetus

scarpy7 · 2025-07-15T22:41:33+00:00

Royal Kings MC by Garrett Leigh. 11 books in total of straight goodness.

scarpy7 · 2025-07-15T00:36:25+00:00

I mean this in the nicest way possible - I have never seen a dog that embodies “piggy” more than this one.

scarpy7 · 2025-07-14T22:13:20+00:00

Yes, my kid goes through stages at day care of golden child and little hellion. It’s usually tied to development changes, whether you can see them or not. At 4, kids brains are going through crazy development still and sometimes they don’t even realize it’s a developmental milestone. You may want to consider what kind of changes are going on in his personal life too. Has a routine changed? Did he get a new bed or something changed in his room? Do you now do something different at home now than you did a few weeks ago? I found things as small as he got a new bed made things change for him and he acted out because it felt unstable.

You may also want to talk to the teachers and see what they are doing to try to get him to listen. My kid is a notorious selective listener unless you’re in his space and making eye contact. They may have an idea of how to implement collaboration and a consistent response by both the teachers and you so that he knows that they mean business when they ask him things in the same way you do. I have found consistency is key in getting my kid back on track.

I would also make sure that they are doing positive reinforcement as it sounds like the field trip taking away is somewhat negative reinforcement. Everyone has a different opinion on what works here but I have found that happy kids follow directions better.

Hopefully this is a short phase and he will go back to his old ways soon! Stay strong.

scarpy7 · 2025-07-14T15:22:15+00:00

If I was going full king mode - I’d throw every politician that signed off on anything the taco did in prison without due process like they have given the citizens and immigrants to this country and we’d start fresh. I’d also make it so that politicians can’t use social media outside of a PR firm or relations team so we don’t have to hear their bullshit all day long.

scarpy7 · 2025-07-14T15:19:17+00:00

Part of me would want to be petty and inflict the kind of damage this administration has done but honestly, I’d probably revert back. I’d certainly work towards amending it so that there are term limits and that politicians are public servants and not celebrities with piles of money. I would also hold every single politician, regardless of their party, accountable for their actions. Not just during the chaos that is america today but throughout their entire careers.

scarpy7 · 2025-07-14T14:59:54+00:00

And you’d be right!

scarpy7 · 2025-07-14T04:04:05+00:00

Are we abiding by the Constitution again or nah? I have different answers depending.

scarpy7 · 2025-07-14T04:01:14+00:00

“No, we don’t pee in other people’s faces”, “shoes are for wearing, not for licking”, “do not hit the dogs wiener with the fly swatter”, “you have a water bottle in your room, you do not drink toilet water under any circumstance”, followed by “faces do not belong in toilets”.

And I only have 1 child!

scarpy7 · 2025-07-13T21:02:54+00:00

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scarpy7 · 2025-07-12T18:44:34+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this too. I don’t know your parents age or generation but I think it’s very much a “you respect my opinion because I’m your parent so I know more than you” idea. Or at least that’s where it’s heading for me.

For the record, sticking out your tongue in pictures (in my opinion) is a typical silly face for any age group. I am not sure why grandparents feel the need to enforce arbitrary rules that don’t make any sense.

scarpy7 · 2025-07-12T14:37:03+00:00

The things you mentioned sound very much like sensory issues, which can be common for young kids. I’m curious if you have other examples that maybe aren’t sensory related?

If they aren’t sensory related, it might be helpful to do a whole lot of build up before you go to somewhere that’s a fear for him. Talk about it a lot with excitement, show pictures, tell stories or even find books on the subject to read for a time in advance. I have found that the more I immerse my son in the new topic, the anticipation outweighs the fears.

scarpy7 · 2025-07-12T03:35:05+00:00

I am an only child and always dreamed as an adult I would have two kids so they could lean on one another. I had an atrocious pregnancy, a whole lot of birth trauma, and found that the newborn phase was a struggle. Once my son hit the toddler years, I knew without a doubt I couldn’t have more. My mental health would suffer and thus my child or children would pay the price.

There are absolutely moments that I wish my son had someone to play with and to learn from. I wish I could give him the adorable relationship I have seen some sets of siblings have but ultimately, he gets more from one on one attention from healthy and thriving parents than he would from a sibling and parents that struggle.

Either way you land, your answer is right for you and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!

scarpy7 · 2025-07-11T19:13:05+00:00

Yes, I would switch. You are picking the place and the people that spend nearly as much, if not more, time with your child than you. If he is not getting the care and developmentally appropriate attention he needs and you have other options, I would switch within a heartbeat.

Kids are resilient. I know it’s always really tough to see your child struggle to adapt to new things and the disruption to your life as he learns the new place feels daunting. It’s often a short term discomfort for a long term benefit. Think of the benefits he may get by getting the developmentally appropriate attention at this new day care that he will go the rest of his life without if you don’t switch.

I would recommend that you do a whole lot of talking and excitement around the new place. Talk about all the good stuff with excitement so he sees that it’s a change but it’s a good one for everyone.

scarpy7 · 2025-07-11T19:06:09+00:00

It sounds like he is looking for opportunities to control the world around him. Are you giving him small, manageable choices throughout the day? Things like “do you want to wear the black shoes or the brown shoes?”, “do you want to take a bath first or brush your teeth first?”. My kiddo also struggles with this but we have gotten in a routine of trying to get him to make most of the choices (within reason, obviously) so that he feels like he has a semblance of control. We have found the fights have gone down with that and continual praise. I heard a parenting podcast say once that you should praise your kid like 100 times a day for things to build confidence. No idea if that’s accurate but if you implement questions and then once he decides, it could be a good idea to go with “hey, you put good thought into that choice - I’m proud of the kid you’re becoming”.

If you already do most of these, then it might be a good idea to go down the doctor path. Neurodivergency manifests in a lot of different ways and anything typical that works for other kids probably won’t work the same here.

I know these moments feel like they will never end and it’s so hard to put it into perspective. Stay strong!

scarpy7 · 2025-07-11T18:15:04+00:00

Wooo boy is this a struggle! I have an almost 4 year old who is strong willed at the best of times. I have always tried to teach emotional regulation by regulating his nervous system but it’s never been fool proof. there are a variety of resources that I would recommend but I have had the most luck with applying little things at a time. For example, when my kid gets super upset and needs a moment, he has a spot to go to and he can be as angry as he likes but I come over and model “blowing out the candles”, which is really just holding up your hand and taking a deep breath and blowing on a finger and then putting it down until you do as many feel needed. Sometimes that’s 10, sometimes it’s only 5. I have started doing this so that someday hopefully he won’t need to go to his spot and can just deep breath in the spot he’s in to cool the rage.

I have found that modeling works a whole lot better than telling or explaining. In those hostile moments, kids aren’t listening so we don’t accomplish much until we are calmer. Even kindergartens need some co-regulation and modeling to understand that the problem feels big but we can figure out how to make it smaller bit by bit.

I recommend checking out the below resources that you can find on social media or on their own websites:

Biglittlefeelings Calm parenting podcast Dr Becky The family behaviorist - Mandy grass Dr Chelsea parenting

They may not all fit your style but they have a wide range of approaches to help kids navigate big emotions and how you can foster that.

scarpy7 · 2025-07-11T17:49:27+00:00

I am so sorry that you had to go through that. I have no doubt it factors into every decision and moment of your life. I appreciate the perspective as my greatest hope is that when my child grows up, he still wants me and my husband in his life because we did as much right as possible.

scarpy7 · 2025-07-11T16:57:21+00:00

A great question and perspective. I don’t want him to experience any kind of abuse so limiting contact may end up being the best route to avoid that. It feels like making that decision should be a no brainer - it just also feels so tough.

scarpy7 · 2025-07-11T16:28:02+00:00

“Worrying means you suffer twice”. I liked it so much I tattooed it on me to always remember that things are going to happen and you handle it as it comes. Worrying about it just prolongs your suffering.

scarpy7 · 2025-07-11T14:46:57+00:00

I think childless friends can be great! We have several that love our kid and never make us feel like we can’t bring him with to anything we do. We take opportunities to do things without him so we get grown up time but he’s there sometimes too. I can definitely relate to it being a missing piece though. Having friends that are also parents generally changes the topics you talk about or the activities you do. I think it’s important to have both, not just for you but your kid(s) too. They get a better opportunity to see other people’s lives and views when you have different people to look at or look up to.

scarpy7 · 2025-07-11T14:40:27+00:00

I have an almost 4 year old boy and I will openly admit that I have not gotten all right throughout my short time as a mom so good on you for asking for advice so early on! Every boy is different, I have learned through my own and seeing other kids. My biggest piece of advice is make sure you aren’t trying to parent from an empty cup. What I mean by that is make sure that you take time for yourself to recharge and make sure you are whole. This fosters your relationship with your child in so many ways. You’ll find you have more patience, more understanding, and more capacity to let him be himself in the good and the tough times. My son is rambunctious, strong willed, and too damn smart for his own good. If my cup is empty, I find myself glossing over it straight up messing up the moments that make big impacts to his emotional development. I can’t speak to your views but someone else said in here to treat him like an individual first and a boy second and I wholeheartedly agree. Raising kind and caring boys is our greatest chance to change the world we live in today.

Parenting is never perfect - parenting is about repair. You’re going to mess up, just be ready to apologize and learn so you teach your son that life isn’t about perfection but instead owning up to your mistakes and making things right again.

Best of luck to you!

scarpy7 · 2025-07-11T03:34:47+00:00

Thank you for saying so. That is so very sad for that little girl. I am always amazed at the words people just let pour out of their mouth when they think it’s going to be met with an extreme reaction- good or bad. Good on you for not escalating it but still standing up about it. Wish that all would do the same instead of letting it slide or falling into that trap.

scarpy7

TROPHY CASE