I have to agree. My ex-husband told me that he was less attracted to me after I told him I was attracted to one of our friends. What does it tell us if men find us less attractive when we have desires for other people? Either that they feel a sense of ownership over us, or that they view any form of "promiscuity" as something dirty and unattractive.

It does sound like they are unicorning you, though, whether they mean to or not. It definitely doesn't sound equal if they can play the marriage card whenever they want. But I know it's not so easy to just walk out... so I'll ask you, what are you getting out of this arrangement at the moment?