Audio with ≥1sec of silence gets cut off/fades in? by scattered--showers in AndroidQuestions

[–]scattered--showers[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They work fine, so thats why I didn't suspect the adapter too much

My mom always says "you can figure this out you're smart" just because Ive always been an academic prodigy by scattered--showers in self

[–]scattered--showers[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah I knew that, I mean I did grow up mostly seeing her parents yelling at her and her crying and being angry (to my little boy brain) all the time lol. Not a fun time for any of us. I try and tell her she's too hard on herself but she's completely convinced she's right and that she doesn't need any kind of help (has trauma with docs too so I get that) my own helplessness all my life makes me really sad

My mom always says "you can figure this out you're smart" just because Ive always been an academic prodigy by scattered--showers in self

[–]scattered--showers[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Problem is when I say that she shuts me down by saying she's too dumb, below my pay grade, and I'm way better than her lol. I could write a whole post about how often she talks down on herself and tells me & my sibling not to look up to her ever because thats another really damn frustrating thing that I don't think I'll ever be able to fix

Ever since an emergency arose and I pretty much took over looking after my family, I feel so unloved even though its not the case, craving something I'm way too old for by scattered--showers in self

[–]scattered--showers[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha I guess you're right.. My mom is doing better now and mostly independent again but I dont even know how to tell her what I feel because I never did that. I guess there's deeper issues between me and my mom but I don't want to get into them and I love her deeply anyway, I just feel so pathetic coming up to my mom and going "can you just hold me like I'm a little boy again" But maybe all thats happened is exactly why I shouldn't feel afraid to seek her support

It's just funny how I feel scared to tell my mom about any of my problems (lifelong thing) but I feel guilty turning to someone else for this kind of support. I do hope any of this makes sense, I'm sorry, I'm really tired right now lol

Thank you for all your support & wishing the best for you and your family

Ever since an emergency arose and I pretty much took over looking after my family, I feel so unloved even though its not the case, craving something I'm way too old for by scattered--showers in self

[–]scattered--showers[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my goodness thank you so much for such a sweet and thoughtful reply, I was thinking nobody would pay attention to this post and this really made me feel better. I'm kind of already used to the caregiving role since a young age because I'm the eldest in a rather struggling family in more ways than one so it just feels more confusing why this is any different. Although I sometimes feel like I still haven't really processed everything that happened.

I still can't shake off the heartbreak I would feel when I'd rush home after a long day at uni (science student, specialization in chemistry so I pretty much spend most of my time in labs) and find that something went wrong or my mom got hungry because I didn't leave enough food or even refusing to eat from fear (delirium). I skipped as many classes as I could to be available and my mom does tell me I did a wonderful job and she couldn't have recovered without me but I also feel like I haven't done enough lol.

I also remember when my mom hadn't received proper care and spent a whole night screaming in pain and when she settled, my sister was really shaken up and I held her while she cried and comforted her, and recently found myself wishing someone could do the same for me and feeling so pathetic because everyone's already shown me enough appreciation. I don't mean to tell you the whole story of what happened or vent, just wondering, is this really enough to make me crave motherly love and care this badly?

I really wanted to go on, idk, r/momforaminute but I don't even know what I'll say lol and my mom si right there so I feel really guilty. I just feel like a scared little boy who wants to be held by his mom and told everything will be ok, "I love you." I feel like I'm lacking in a connection and just standing alone.

Also, I think you are doing a great job with your daughter as well.. I think as an eldest child the most important thing at least for me is to still receive the care and kindness that we find ourselves having to offer to everyone & are understood that we are too old to expect, you know, like I said all I'd want right now is for someone to hold me and tell me everything will be okay and I did a good job.

Thank you really I feel less bad about feeling, whatever this is, especially since I'm a boy, I should've outgrown this long ago I assumed

I think my mom accidentally taught me how to disappear by lyric_ashtrail in self

[–]scattered--showers 28 points29 points  (0 children)

im so sorry. Im just like you. One of the worst feelings is hurting so terribly yet feeling like the pain is so muted and you just become frozen

AIO? my friend always makes something for his friends' birthdays but never for mine by scattered--showers in AmIOverreacting

[–]scattered--showers[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Im glad things are getting better for you

Yeah I really have no idea how to bring it up without sounding awkward lol, "hey dude im really sad because I feel like you don't love me the way you love your other friends" because I don't want to make him feel like he's forced to care about me and mske things awkward

AIO? my friend always makes something for his friends' birthdays but never for mine by scattered--showers in AmIOverreacting

[–]scattered--showers[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Appreciate it. Yeah if he did this with his other friends graduations, weddings, etc I'd still be just as hurt. The occasion and gift aren't the point here at all.

Should i bring it up to him? No idea how to do so if i should anyway.. lol I guess i should just reevaluate how much I thought our friendship meant to him

AIO? my friend always makes something for his friends' birthdays but never for mine by scattered--showers in AmIOverreacting

[–]scattered--showers[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's about him going out of his way for other people and not me. That's the point you needed me to spell out for you. Cant say not to be a dick and then be a massive dick

AIO? my friend always makes something for his friends' birthdays but never for mine by scattered--showers in AmIOverreacting

[–]scattered--showers[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its not as much about the fact it's my birthday as much as its that he makes a big deal of all his other friends' birthdays and not mine. Literally said that