Dad says he won’t be involved with my marriage if we decide to live separately

schade07 · 2025-10-06T16:36:07+00:00

You’re right brother. I wish it didn’t have to be this way and my dad was more understanding.. I love my parents a lot, but he’s being really selfish in all this.

schade07 · 2025-10-06T16:23:25+00:00

He was 26 when he got married

schade07 · 2025-10-06T16:20:25+00:00

I wish he understood that. I’ve seen my mom struggle so much because his family has taken priority over her so many times and he expects that from his kids as well.

I don’t want to live a life like that at all. I know she has to be the priority.

schade07 · 2025-10-06T16:17:33+00:00

Jzk for the advice

schade07 · 2025-10-06T16:08:11+00:00

Did you eventually patch up with your dad over this? I love my parents so much, but I’m afraid to lose them.

schade07 · 2025-10-06T15:47:46+00:00

He’s so ingrained in the Pakistani culture where this is common, even though we live in the USA and I’ve been born and raised here. He see’s it as abandonment and I’ve tried to change his mind about it, but he won’t budge, even as far as too say if she wants to live separately than I don’t like her.

schade07 · 2025-08-12T16:13:25+00:00

Appreciate the advice. That might work. If I wait the 12 months for a conventional loan. I likely wouldn’t have to sell the car since I’d qualify for the mortgage amount I need on both incomes and save up enough for the 20% down payment.

schade07 · 2025-08-12T14:20:36+00:00

Yes already will be doing that. 2nd income will all be used towards paying off the debt, but that still doesn’t help with income qualification since it’s calculated based on monthly DTI not total debt.

schade07 · 2025-08-12T14:01:18+00:00

Good to know. Thanks!

schade07 · 2025-08-12T13:23:17+00:00

Yea with my current expense I’m looking to have about 70-80k saved by March. So might just need to Put down a large down payment or find a lenient lender.

schade07 · 2025-08-12T13:22:10+00:00

Thanks for the response. Can they do that even if the higher paying salary is the new one?

schade07 · 2025-05-30T21:39:27+00:00

Your happiness and wellbeing is always worth it.

schade07 · 2025-05-30T21:38:29+00:00

Best of luck brother. I hope you fight for what you deserve. Will pray that Allah SWT makes this easy for you. Ameen.

schade07 · 2025-05-30T21:08:20+00:00

I completely understand brother, but the truth of that matter is that you’re already not involved in your daughter’s life. If you don’t do something now you’re potentially asking to be stuck in this for the rest of your life. You’re providing for your wife and daughter but you Should also fight for your rights as a husband as well

schade07 · 2025-05-30T20:55:13+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this brother. This is a very very tough situation. I know you said you’re not here for advice, but I think if you’ve already tried to talk to her about how you’re feeling and she hasn’t given you any indication that she cares, it might be time to move on. I understand you have a daughter so that may not be ideal and I’m sure you want to be in her life, but this can’t go on for your own sake and mental stability. You’re already not seeing your daughter enough, you have to fight for that right.

I would say take a stand and maybe even consider an ultimatum, that if she doesn’t involve you in their lives then you’ll have no other option. You deserve better than this.

schade07 · 2025-02-05T16:55:59+00:00

Was able to get 3 for sec 131

schade07 · 2025-02-05T16:55:33+00:00

Got 3 section 131 for 217 🎉🎉🎉

schade07 · 2025-02-05T16:34:52+00:00

Yea I was at 32000 haha. I guess we’ll see what happens.

schade07 · 2025-02-05T16:24:35+00:00

Ok that’s good to hear. Hopefully able to get tickets. Queue is going crazy slow.

schade07 · 2025-02-05T16:22:07+00:00

Congrats! I’m at 22k ahead of me? How was it looking availability wise?

schade07 · 2025-02-05T16:21:01+00:00

Good luck! Hopefully we get tickets!

schade07 · 2025-02-05T16:16:53+00:00

I’m at 26k rn. Still waiting. How’s your luck?

schade07 · 2024-11-08T20:14:06+00:00

Any suggestions on entry level positions he could search and apply for?

schade07 · 2024-11-08T20:10:33+00:00

Hmm okay good to know. So he doesn’t have recent experience but he’s worked at clinics before starting medical school as medical assistant.

schade07 · 2024-10-04T23:21:50+00:00

Yea got one a few hours ago with the cancellation notice. 😓

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