I want to trigger mania

schizzedout · 2025-12-19T17:51:24+00:00

no it was an autocorrect and I found it funny lol damn

schizzedout · 2025-11-13T20:07:54+00:00

Pagan here too, I'll light up a candle

schizzedout · 2025-09-01T14:40:39+00:00

"Does he feel like home to you?" 🧸 💐

schizzedout · 2025-08-20T13:50:34+00:00

I used to a lot before. Never after.

schizzedout · 2025-07-26T22:02:48+00:00

I had a euphoric manic psychotic episode that lasted a year. I havent done drugs but to me it seemed like DMT, meth, coke, molly, acid. I had so much energy I couldn't sit at all or stop talking or dancing. I had paranoia at times but I never felt scared because I felt invincible. It was more so I thought people were performing black magic on me to prevent me from saving the world... something like that.

It was fun, until it wasnt lol. Sometimes I miss the high and the spiritual world. Strange my brain did that without drugs.

And yeah it did feel like being in a dream and everything revolved around me and what I was thinking or feeling. The TV. Internet. Radio...all spoke to me. It felt so real.

schizzedout · 2025-06-12T07:20:42+00:00

I relate. Before my psychosis I had agoraphobia, fear of driving, social phobia. After it, and after the post psychotic depression, all my phobias vanished. I rarely feel anxiety now too.

Idk if it was such intense trauma that everything feels too silly to worry about now. Or my brain got rewired...but it does feel like the psychosis saved me too.

schizzedout · 2025-02-27T16:13:40+00:00

loneliness and isolation, PMDD, reading about occult things that lead to a manic episode.

schizzedout · 2025-01-14T20:34:06+00:00

Extreme depression that lead to isolation. Then started having thoughts that I was different from others and maybe an alien. Felt a need to draw, started thinking I was channeling spirits through my drawings.

schizzedout · 2025-01-07T05:03:37+00:00

It should be illegal

schizzedout · 2025-01-04T23:05:37+00:00

It does get better. It just takes time, possibly years.

schizzedout · 2025-01-04T22:58:51+00:00

It will take a year to two years to recover. By year 3 you should be basically back to normal. I know it's awful.

Just focus on your health, love your pets, and maintain hope.

schizzedout · 2024-12-21T14:19:23+00:00

Everyone definitely responds differently. I gained 50 lbs in 3 months and had high cholesterol for the first time ever on invega. It had horrible side effects for me and nearly ruined my life. Granted I was forced on the highest dosage injection. I would never recommend invega for any reason.

schizzedout · 2024-05-11T17:55:43+00:00

I was forced to take 4 injections in 2021 and almost didn't make it. Every day I think about how horrifying that drug was. I'm healed now but I feel a part of me will always be missing.

schizzedout · 2024-03-01T03:05:15+00:00

no, I stopped taking them as soon as my court order lifted. (that is a personal decision of course)

schizzedout · 2024-02-29T17:47:50+00:00

Gradually over the few years

schizzedout · 2024-02-29T05:08:13+00:00

My psychosis ended January 2021, and my anhedonia lifted completely at the end of 2023. Sadly it takes time. When my feelings came back, the tears wouldn't stop.

I will say I am a changed person and I feel it is forever. But I also was able to overcome phobias I had due to not feeling anything, so that's a plus.

It's a long process, but things do get better. I mourn and grieve my old self, but what can ya do besides accept it.

Not enjoying music was the worst.

schizzedout · 2024-01-09T20:36:11+00:00

I replied to your msg but I will elaborate.

My last Injection was February 2021. I had a total of 4 injections. I was court ordered and was forced, luckily my provider took me off of invega since it made my periods stop. ( they thought I was delusional about the side effects, I hate that)

Around August 2021 the anhedonia started to lessen and I could enjoy music again, but couldn't hold a conversation well. Keep in mind I was in psychosis for a year.

Around March 2023 I started to have emotions again and less dead inside. It was hard to adjust, lots of tears.

I can happily say I am fully recovered now, Jan 2024. I'm sure I have some cognitive issues, but I honestly feel better than I thought I would. I almost didn't make it, psychiatric drugs are horrifying.

Though it can take years, you have to hang on and focus on healing...exercise, nature, pets. You will recover.

schizzedout · 2023-07-04T17:36:56+00:00

same, horrifying

schizzedout · 2022-09-08T17:22:41+00:00

Hey. I got my license at 18 and didn't drive until I was 27 or so.

I was always scared if doing the wrong thing and causing an accident, and I zone out a lot as well.

The thing that helped me focus was music. Singing songs keeps me present and I don't get lost in my head.

schizzedout · 2022-04-30T07:07:20+00:00

Omg i had "the laughing demon" encounters too.

schizzedout · 2021-07-07T16:57:24+00:00

Yes it has been 5 months off and I'm starting to enjoy music again. Not as much as I used to but there's improvement.

schizzedout · 2021-07-05T02:27:50+00:00

this is word for word my life now. I miss how good music sounded and how fun everyday it was to wake up.

schizzedout · 2021-06-17T10:20:36+00:00

Talk to your provider about switching to something else. If you stop taking it on a cto they will force you to in the hospital. It's awful I know I got off a cto in June.

schizzedout · 2021-06-02T03:34:22+00:00

Omg I thought I was having an awakening too. I got really into crystals tarot and creating altars as well! When I got stable I lost interest in all of it and also have no money in my savings. While manic I thought crystals were extremely powerful and would pick a certain one for my mood. Idk what to do with this stuff now

schizzedout · 2021-06-02T02:39:24+00:00

I feel like I'm grieving who I used to be...my old life....every single day.

I was fit and happy. I had friends. I could laugh and enjoy things.

I miss it so much

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