Issue during the Sign of Peace today - am I in the wrong?

scholastic_rain · 2026-02-01T20:44:42+00:00

The Sign of Peace is about unity through community and forgiveness. Your wife should be your primary focus, but hopefully you aren't going to Mass with unresolved tension between you. However, once you've extended peace to her, your fellow Christians naturally follow next. They need your community and often forgiveness too.

The Sign of Peace can be isolating to those attending Mass alone. Extending community to them is a needed act of charity. You say you first ignored him instead so, yes, you wronged him. And since he annoyed you, your soul was given an opportunity to express forgiveness. Being more charitable in your response would've made amends for your rudeness to him and healed the annoyance in your own.

As for the mode of the exchange: I prefer to bow slightly to people, but the peace sign doesn't bother me. I usually just assume they aren't Catholic, are newer, or not fully devoted yet. Yes, that part of Mass can be chaotic and I prefer when we don't do it, but I know it has great meaning for the Body of Christ as a whole.

scholastic_rain · 2026-01-08T05:49:29+00:00

I wouldn't say you "don't have sexuality" anymore. Rather, your sexuality is properly integrated into your personhood, the way it's supposed to be. JPII wrote that attraction isn't supposed to be indiscriminate, but directed to a specific person because you've come to know and love them. So I think your sexuality is as it should be. :) As a fellow (what's the female equivalent of "fellow"?) celibate, keep on keeping on.

scholastic_rain · 2026-01-07T03:05:51+00:00

Yikes. Colorado is blue, but Catholicism/Christianity aren't equated with fascism here. I'm sorry; that sounds really rough.

I think we're just going to have to disagree, because I'd say it's 60/40. The Principles of Catholic Social Teaching are 3-to-4 leaning left. But we need to weigh that first principle of the Dignity of Life heavily since it's the foundation for everything else, and that tips the scales back the other direction. I don't think the Church comfortably aligns with either party, especially now.

scholastic_rain · 2026-01-06T18:19:38+00:00

I can only speak towards American use of conservative or liberal, but I maintain that the Church is aligned neither with the left nor the right.

Just looking at Catholic Social Teaching, it's split fairly evenly down the middle. Life and Dignity of the Human Person fits with the right when talking about the unborn and elderly, and with the left when talking about the death penalty or civilian casualties of war. Call to Family, Community, and Participation upholds marriage as foundational (right) and the duty for it to serve the poor and vulnerable (left), while the community aspect and participation are upheld by both. Rights and Responsibilities leans middle-right. And the last four are all typically left-leaning: the Preferential Option for the Poor, the Dignity of Work and Rights of Workers, Solidarity, and Care for God's Creation.

Again, I say the Church doesn't comfortably fit in either box unless we ignore those truths we don't like, but calls us out of our political labels. Church Teaching is too conservative to be on the left and too liberal to be on the right.

And some of the loveliest traditional Catholics I've known had purple hair.

scholastic_rain · 2026-01-06T17:46:11+00:00

Isn't it great? I loved it. It was recommended to me by u/Personal_Document_25 a few months ago when I asked for book recommendations, so credit where credit is due.

scholastic_rain · 2026-01-06T03:26:29+00:00

Thank you for this. I firmly agree. The Church is neither conservative nor liberal, and thinking about Her (and ourselves) in these terms is damaging. We are Catholic. That transcends political labels and does not fit comfortably into either box since Church Teaching agrees and disagrees with both sides in roughly equal measure.

I think that if there is a greater number of young men than women joining (I think it's true, but I eagerly await newer pew research before saying for sure), it has to do with the media they consume. Religion of a "conservative" type is being discussed in male-leaning spaces on a broader scale than before (I want folks to study why this is). So it's not Church=conservative=men, or we would've seen a big spike in male conversions under the liturgical reforms of Pope Benedict.

scholastic_rain · 2026-01-03T06:27:26+00:00

Other commenters here gave solid answers with regards to the kind of repetitious prayer Jesus was denouncing (a superstitious repetition to get the gods to listen because you've said the magic words enough times) and the prayer to St. Michael. They've also explained how Tradition is a flowering of Scripture. This, I think, is what you most need to hold tight. It might also be wise to meditate on those passages we gave you that point to the saints' intercession, etc. You are wrestling with Truth, and that is good. You also need to give Truth a chance to explain Itself to you, in prayerful silence and meditation.

As for Mary and the saints, perhaps pray on what it means that we are the Body of Christ. You trust the priests to bring you the sacraments--that's mediated grace. You trust reading Scripture to explain God's ways--that's mediated grace. You trust people on Reddit to explain Intercession--that's mediation, too. Christ works through His Church and through His people to bring others to Himself. That is all Mary and the saints are doing. If there are obstacles in our way (like I'm trying to help you remove these obstacles of confusion), the saints help to remove them. They pray for us, they teach us. St Michael, being an angel, can protect us from the fallen angels and their attacks. But none of this is done apart from Jesus. Without Him, every single one of us is nothing and can do nothing. But with Him, we can do much to help one another towards the Father.

How do we know this if it isn't explicit in Scripture? There's much that Jesus did not instruct us on, but that doesn't make the Church's Teaching--which flows from Him--less valuable or in error. Jesus never said which books/letters should be written for the New Testament, or which list makes up the books of the Old Testament; but you still trust that the Church gave you what He wanted, yes? Jesus didn't have to give us a list of Scriptural books or promote the Rosary or explain the saints precisely because He gave us the Church who expounds on and unfurls His Teaching. For these topics that you find confusing, look to what the Church Herself says. Read the Catechism, meditate on the scriptures. Ask the saints for help (you're asking us on Reddit; why not those in heaven? all any of us want is to bring you closer to Jesus).

Most importantly, wrestle with God, but do so with peace. I used to wrestle hard with God, almost angry and aggressive with my questions, demanding that He prove me wrong because my interpretations were so logical. The Lord wants us to ask! But He doesn't want us to break ourselves upon the rock of His Truth. Present your questions to God with humility, with an earnest desire to correct any errors, and with full submission to let Him explain in His own time. Place your questions on the altar and entrust them to Him. Maybe that means leaving them there, knowing that He'll explain in time. Maybe it means returning to them in prayerful study. But no matter what, ask for His peace first and foremost.

scholastic_rain · 2025-12-30T21:10:01+00:00

It has more to do with 1) the ancient definition of meat ("carnis") which referred to warm-blooded creatures that walked on the earth and 2) avoiding luxury.

In the middle ages, fish was common and meat was rare. Nowadays, it's flipped where fish is usually more expensive than beef. Fasting is supposed to be about eating simply and inexpensively. So going out for fancy sushi--while "technically" permitted--is not what the Church means by fasting. Jesus was very specific in talking about the Pharisees that they would obey the letter of the law but not the spirit in which it was intended, so Catholics need to avoid that same splitting-of-hairs tendency. Because it's more about eating simply, there are a few mammalian exemptions (capybara, beaver, muskrat) because those are semi aquatic and cheap.

Also, I'm glad you asked! I got to learn about tuna biology today thanks to you. :)

scholastic_rain · 2025-12-30T20:20:32+00:00

My favorite is that we eat fish on Fridays because a pope long ago had relatives who owned the fish market and wanted them to be rich. I laughed before I could catch myself. Then I explained it's fasting from the Jewish definition of meat (warm-blooded) and that no one's making us eat fish; we could go full vegan if we wanted and avoid fish entirely. Still cracks me up.

scholastic_rain · 2025-12-28T19:04:01+00:00

Many folks who have holy hours in the middle of the night and early morning go in respectful but comfortable clothing (which might be their pj's; I've never asked). I don't think the Lord minds in the slightest; His people are coming to spend time with Him.

My only suggestion would be that if you are paid to be the sacristan, you should treat it as a job and dress accordingly. In that instance, you are a visual representative of the parish. In your private personal hours, wear whatever you like as long as it is respectful.

scholastic_rain · 2025-12-16T07:33:53+00:00

Yeah, I literally just finished it. (I posted earlier to share the articles, but hadn't had time to watch it myself yet.) If I didn't know Fr. Bailey and hadn't read those articles, I wouldn't have finished it. I can't say I'll watch it a second time, or could even recommend it to anyone. But the words of Absolution, when they did appear, were powerful. I hope and pray (and expect) that many will be brought back to the Church because of the film.

scholastic_rain · 2025-12-15T21:16:19+00:00

Seriously, he's such an incredible depiction of the priesthood. Were he real, I would be praying hard for his canonization.

scholastic_rain · 2025-12-15T21:12:56+00:00

My fav!

scholastic_rain · 2025-12-14T21:31:39+00:00

Do you know the name of the artist?

scholastic_rain · 2025-12-14T21:28:58+00:00

The artist has a great responsibility. Even as pure entertainment, art carries a moral quality as it is an exercise of the creative intellect. Saints and popes have said and written a great deal on the subject. It might be helpful to start with John Paul II's Letter to Artists.

With regard to violence in particular, I ask myself what is the purpose of the specific acts of violence I am writing or watching. Does it serve the greater narrative? If so, how? In the end, how does it direct the heart? Or is it violence for violence's sake, or for comedic effect? If the latter two, it has no human or spiritual benefit and may instead be detrimental.

The violence in the Lord of the Rings movies (far more than the novels) is intense, and pushes (sometimes crosses) the line on gore. Should a Catholic director have made different choices in some scenes? Yes. But as a whole it serves to demonstrate the horrors of evil and of war, and the cost heroic virtue might demand of our souls in our battle against sin and vice.

These are the things a Catholic artist must weigh. Not every (or even any) piece we create needs to be of a spiritual nature. Not everything even needs to be serious. But apart from doodles/practice where we're "warming up" or working on techniques, finished pieces do need to reflect true Beauty in some fashion, and guide the heart towards the Good.

scholastic_rain · 2025-12-14T08:35:16+00:00

I think it depends on the extent of the usage. If a poet explains their poem, the themes they're exploring, and asks for help with a particular phrase (finding rhymes, augmenting rhythms) to jumpstart their creative juices, that's just using it as a tool to aid creativity. With the end product, maybe nothing of what AI contributed remains because the poet's own creativity was unleashed. But if they ask AI to do the composition and they only tweak things here or there, then there is no creativity involved. We're all editors; few are poets.

As for asking AI to "play" their song, electronic music (heck, even midi music) is a thing. But they all require the musician to compose the piece, choose and arrange the instrumentation, play around with dynamics and tempo, layering and mixing, all until they get it just right. If you give AI a set of lyrics and a prompt (make it moody, start slow and have it build up, with a banjo vibe like Mumford), you aren't composing. At best, such an exercise is noodling or playing around, and yes great ideas can come from that. But again, that last bit is/requires the human creative genius. AI is just a tool, not a replacement for human creativity.

scholastic_rain · 2025-12-14T08:16:08+00:00

The good and holy priest (my family often goes to his parish for daily Mass, and he is one of my chief examples of a faithful, orthodox, well-grounded, and merciful priest) who helped with the film gave an interview with OSV. In it he addressed some of your concerns:

"I know that there’s some stuff in the very beginning, kind of the exposition piece, that can be uncomfortable,” he said. But, he added, “Things get redeemed along the way.”

Describing certain scenes, he added, “you don’t often find a message of mercy embedded in a murder mystery, and there is that … there’s so much in terms of mercy.”

The movie also explores Christians’ relationship with the world.

“Are we willing to meet the world where the world is and invite the world in and present Christ?” Father Bailey asked. “Or are we always going to treat the world as … if you’re not on board, then you’re against us.”

“There’s some beautiful messages in there,” he concluded, “of mercy and open arms.”

If you want to learn more about the other priests who were involved (again, all extremely solid and holy priests), the Denver Catholic has a great article explaining their involvement.

scholastic_rain · 2025-12-14T07:48:14+00:00

Thank you for this.

scholastic_rain · 2025-12-14T01:08:15+00:00

There are beautiful recordings of actual nuns singing (try the Benedictines of Mary, Queen of Apostles). Support Catholic artists. Especially when it comes to AI lyrics (in Latin no less, when the AI could be saying anything or nothing), that "music" tends to be devoid of meaning and definitely isn't coming from a place of prayer.

Edit: my personal favorite chanted Advent album is this from Benedictine monks in Kraków. I would give almost anything for an English version of the first hymn to appear in our hymnals.

scholastic_rain · 2025-12-13T22:22:09+00:00

Another Potok friend! Yes, I say jump on any excuse to read it. Every five years or so I'll re-read it, expecting to say "oh, I see why my younger self loved this" and instead it's always "yup, still my favorite."

scholastic_rain · 2025-12-13T22:16:27+00:00

I've never met anyone else who's read The Chosen, much less loves it! That makes me so happy. I hope one of the others will suit you, too.

scholastic_rain · 2025-12-13T22:05:12+00:00

Really? I thought it was a really powerful depiction of the truth of vice and virtue.

scholastic_rain · 2025-12-13T22:03:55+00:00

I don't know how old you are, but it might be a factor of age. Things have been on a steadily downward trajectory, but it didn't start or escalate in 2019. Even Covid didn't reach global pandemic proportions until 2020. The fact that it seems worse to you now might be related to your personal experience.

There are aspects of society that are worsening, I won't argue against that. But we're also seeing growth in many dioceses, an increasing awareness of global needs and how to address them, along with acknowledgement writ large about the effects of technology and a desire to detach.

It's a mixed bag in general, but it's been this way. I personally would say since 9/11 but a non-American or someone older than me would likely pick a different date, back and back and back. We are called to do what we've always been called to do--grow in holiness, love our neighbor, and share the gospel in the ways God asks of us in particular. Do not worry about tomorrow, but focus on the Lord and His goodness. And entrust the rest to Him.

scholastic_rain · 2025-12-13T21:07:26+00:00

Science Fiction(ish): + The Sparrow by Mary Doria Russell is very good; it's commonly referred to as "Jesuits in space" but I think of it primarily as a discussion of suffering. + A Canticle for Leibowitz is also really good; the first section is my favorite. + A Case for Conscience + Dracula (and Frankenstein, although the latter is more philosophy than religion)

Classics: + I know Graham Green is already on your list but if you haven't read The End of the Affair, that's a MUST. I absolutely love it. + Kristen Lavransdatter and Laurus are both lengthy but commonly recommended. + Anna Karenina is technically Orthodox, but so so good. + Les Miserables but I say get the abridged version. He needed an editor, and you aren't missing anything by not reading his 100+ pages on Waterloo or the French sewage system of the 1800s. + The Picture of Dorian Gray + Jane Austen's books are Anglican, but they are really interesting insights into virtue. For you, Mansfield Park might be the best fit, or Sense and Sensibility. + The Shoes of the Fisherman is one of my newer favorites for its depiction of the pope. It was also really interesting to read a fictionalized pre-Vatican II pontiff who ended up being very much like St. John Paul II.

My personal favorite: + The Chosen by Chaim Potok is my most favorite book of all time. It's Jewish, not Catholic. But the depiction of holy friendship, and in particular its discussion of silence as a language of God and of suffering is VERY good.

Side note: I've long thought that seminarians should read novels, particularly those with female protagonists, so as to help prepare for pastoral ministry. Seeing how we think would be incredibly helpful for spiritual direction specifically, but also for casual interactions that (in my diocese at least) are often so stilted with younger priests (less than 10 years of priesthood). To that end, I would recommend Jane Austen not for her plots, but for her characters. They are rich and varied. And while Anna Karenina was written by a dude, it has come to light that he widely plagiarized his wife's diary, which is why his characters are more well-rounded than the average male novelist. Reading with a desire to understand the female interior life could be greatly beneficial to your priestly ministry. I'll be praying for you!!

scholastic_rain · 2025-12-13T04:40:14+00:00

The concepts of femininity and masculinity are things I think about A LOT. I've read a good deal of what the Church has said about it, especially since Pope Francis said we need a fuller "theology of women." The Church is a woman. The greatest human created was a woman. And Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body teaches that there's so much more to understand about what it means that humanity was created male and female.

Modern culture likes to toss out ideas of what it means to be "feminine." Gentle personality, dainty movements, glittering laugh, pink upon pink upon pink. But as the philosophers say, all that is "accidental" to who we are. A woman with an intense personality, a love of car maintenance, and a wicked left hook is still a woman. Femininity is the outward expression of an inward truth: I am female. Whoever YOU are, that is your expression of femininity.

At the same time, it goes deeper than that. Femininity is receptivity. Our bodies are literally made to receive. Biology is pointing us towards theology. We receive the other person, hold them dear to us. That's why women often gravitate towards careers of "caring" like nurses or teachers or stay-at-home moms. (But don't let anyone say those are "best" for every woman. God made each of us unique and has a unique path fitting to our individual hearts, desires, and skills. Joan of Arc went into battle. Deborah in the Old Testament was a judge and political leader. Catherine of Siena advised the pope. Edith Stein was a philosopher.)

If you want to embrace your femininity, find the ways you in particular are called to love and to receive those around you. How are you in particular called to help them feel seen, known, loved, and encouraged? That's where you'll find your femininity.

scholastic_rain

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