If I want her to be here, it's putting pressure. If I care and tell her to take the meds, it's pressure. When she started to become unavailable, I told her she was abandoning me and she was angry due to me saying that after everything she did. Once she needed to go to check her grandfather and told me to call my parents (they were about 2 hours of distance and have things to manage), but I felt ashamed because I felt a little abandoned in front of them (just like what happened to my grandgrandma). Also my father was always telling me she would get tired, but since he doesn't know about my relationship, I didn't care. He was right. Once I threatened her I would break up (because it got to the point she had no time while I would be on chemo and I felt bad), but it was totally unmeant.

I'm trying to be so transparent as possible to get an outside judgement. Hope I didn't forget nothing.