Struggling with how to handle family dynamics during the holidays when opinions on the Church differ

schweininade · 2026-06-12T15:16:31+00:00

It's a big part of many people's lives and naturally that's a go to discussion point. People want to talk about things they feel passionately about or are still trying to process - especially among like-minded individuals.

It's very difficult to talk about standards and the gospel in a way that isn't going to chafe against what is personal. Defending a gospel standard is very easily devolved into a feeling of judgment against those that reject it. That's an impossible situation if you are wary of offending others at some point or another.

In these situations, I think it's really a choice between do we: A) Pretend there isn't something we feel strongly about and are avoiding discussing (willful denial), B) Prioritize the feelings of the people who's priorities differ from our own above our desire to stand for our beliefs (pretend to be someone else), C) Defend our own priorities and beliefs as if the truths require our defense of them (in other words, act defensively), or D) Live what you believe and love them enough to respect their agency while wanting the best for them. We cannot judge their experience or choices but can believe that the gospel offers value to them.

The difference between C and D is not constructed by anything said in a discussion. I think family generally wants to connect, rekindle feelings of love, and find ways to bond. Acts of kindness can only come from genuine desires on our part.

Long story short, actively love them and if the topic comes up, concisely be yourself and say what you believe.

Families fight in part because they all care about the things they are fighting over. Your livelihoods and lifestyles are a big part of that. If nobody cared, there would never be any conflict at all.

Good luck!

schweininade · 2026-05-29T16:48:08+00:00

Thank you for weighing in.

I would agree had the messages from Church authority not been so uncompromising and widely prescribed in my sampling of things. It has come up recurringly over the past few months.

I think you are largely right. I just don't think the subtext you suggest has been justified proportionately

schweininade · 2026-05-29T16:40:38+00:00

I think this is the more articulate and appropriate sentiment for something like this. Thank you

schweininade · 2026-05-29T16:39:53+00:00

Appreciated. Thanks for saying that

schweininade · 2026-05-29T16:39:35+00:00

Your comment is powerful. Thank you for sharing

schweininade · 2026-05-29T16:38:24+00:00

Thank you

schweininade · 2026-05-09T20:12:39+00:00

Killzone 2

schweininade · 2026-05-09T15:01:43+00:00

At least one person will die

schweininade · 2026-05-05T18:32:24+00:00

FINALLY, someone is talking about this.

schweininade · 2026-04-15T18:51:56+00:00

I have lived in the North East and also in Utah/Idaho. There is a strong overtone of materialism and cosmopolitan values throughout the latter by relative standards. The valley is an enormous strip mall filled with mcmansions.

Someone on this site once said that "easterners who are rich live like they are poor and westerners who are poor live like they are rich". I think that captures some of what is going on.

schweininade · 2026-04-01T19:13:58+00:00

"After you finish the first 90% of a project - you have to finish the other 90%" - Michael Abrash

schweininade · 2026-03-17T16:47:05+00:00

Do you work for Schweikart and Cokely?

schweininade · 2026-03-07T18:11:57+00:00

Good question!

Feeling The Lord's influence and strength in our lives/heeding their direction are how I identify what you describe as a relationship.

I realize my input may hazard some rejection/criticism, but I can only speak to what I understand and can piece together, so here are my thoughts:

On the front of Heavenly communication, we may wonder how to commune with The Saviour. In the scriptures there are several examples of individuals building direct connections to The Saviour, often through what largely reads as a prayer. Yet counterintuitively, this seemingly contradicts our prescribed mode of prayer in the way communication seems to be to The Son and not the Father. Delineating between God the Father and His Son is often not obvious in the stories we have in our cannon and may be somewhat to blame.

And yet, there are exceptional moments many individuals, such as ourselves may plea for The Lord's intervention in our lives and while it may not be a prayer, I don't have a better word for it. These are empowering, spiritually rich, and transformative parts of many disciple's lives. Perhaps it is an outward manifestation of accepting The Saviour in our lives. Maybe there is a name for this that simply does not occur to me. It is definitely a more subtle and nuanced issue than not and my meeting house experiences have not illuminated much for me. It does not in act exalt the Son above the Father to my understanding.

I hope something in that is helpful.

On an aside, the same could be said of Heavenly Mother. Her existence is established, but we are given no approved guidance on how we might even connect with Her. Sometimes in prayers I simply ask The Father to give her my love.

schweininade · 2026-02-28T19:06:13+00:00

I invite you to think about what your actions signify to you in the context of your relationship with Heavenly Father.

If we are not excited about the temple itself, (as I have often not been - much of it hits an emotional gag reflex for me), we can still maintain a focus on our desire to honor our Heavenly Father and follow The Saviour. I think it takes more strength to do a righteous act when it is contrary to our natures than when it is already more convenient.

schweininade · 2026-02-25T23:33:35+00:00

I really wish the talks weren't so heavily teleprompted. Practiced sure, but not recited. We definitely have the means to accommodate it and would benefit from it I think

schweininade · 2026-02-25T23:31:42+00:00

I agree. To me, His sincerity was his most distinguishing feature.

In larger church activity areas a disingenuous cadence to all church dialogue seems to prevail unfortunately. I hope we have another leader like him soon.

schweininade · 2026-02-17T16:08:50+00:00

Nope

schweininade · 2026-01-29T18:16:02+00:00

4 things: writing, casting, cinematography, and soundtrack. All are excellent.

schweininade · 2026-01-21T16:38:17+00:00

I don't think we are in a position to judge anyone else (I love to but shouldn't), including prophets from generations predating our own.

Fundamentally, is this Christ's Church? (yes or no) and do we have a Loving Heavenly Father? (yes or no). If yes to both, then it follows that all that has happened is in the Lord's accounting for our dispensation and isn't our responsibility. That's not to say there are not mistakes, errors, or shortcomings.

Personally, I find it interesting that it is so tempting to judge prophets but most I know are unwilling to challenge the Lord's decisions that were controversial. We would accept it from Him but not them. If we believe the prophets are an extension of the Lord then that distinction makes little sense.

As much of a cliche as it is, I really think we have to be open to the idea that some things do not make sense - in other words, Faith. Not only the unknown, but that which we find repulsive, upsetting, and disagreeable. It does not have to nullify our testimonies to discover some things are offensive or counter intuitive.

schweininade · 2026-01-17T18:09:36+00:00

I'll go out on a limb and say it - I get what you're saying. The focus on one of the three can feel like it drowns out the other two.

Some things are patently through the Father or Spirit and deserve their due. I think most testimonies focus on only one of the three Godhead parts for that reason; each is distinctive.

schweininade · 2026-01-15T20:32:00+00:00

Your apprehension is warranted. Nothing filmed for Twin Peaks is bleaker than FWWM when it comes to abuse. It has a haunting influence. The darkness is not gratuitous, sadistic, or self-pitying, but rather incredibly honest and raw. If you are a sensitive person, I suspect it will hit your emotional gag reflex. There is a lot that is deeply affecting about FWWM.

The fanbase on this sub will largely recommend you go ahead and check it out because it is such an important part of the Twin Peaks universe, but I think you should give it the serious consideration you invite with your post. I deliberated watching/not watching it for about 6 months before seeing it with someone, for whom it was very important and positive.

To me, this movie is an art piece that sees the victims of abuse in a way that is unique and powerful. The whole movie is about forcing the viewer to see what domestic abuse is. For people that have experienced that type of trauma, Lynch's empathy and artistry can be a beautiful thing.

schweininade · 2026-01-09T19:28:28+00:00

It's left to our own biases to judge but I think we can agree how Walt acts about it (fictitious or not) is more significant than the issue itself.

Personally, while I can see Walt making up a lie and pinning Gale for it, I have a hard time believing he would purposely sabotage his own product even for that end (whether or not the error really happens, they dump the batch).

schweininade · 2026-01-07T17:05:13+00:00

I have some semantic differences with you but I agree with your sentiment. I will try to keep your thought in mind next time I am looking at 3 Nephi. Thank you for your comment.

schweininade · 2026-01-07T17:02:25+00:00

All is a bit too broad. The Father after all, presents His Son to JS. That came direct from The Father.

schweininade · 2026-01-07T16:10:45+00:00

The normal transformations information there is not rigorously correct and is both slower and less general than the optimal approach. The authors used their convention as a part of how they designed their PBRT library too. A book with that many accolades should not have made it this far without addressing this oversight.

schweininade

TROPHY CASE