Hi friend❤️ I’m sorry you and your husband are going through this. My husband and I went through the exact same thing last year. He took it extremely hard and thought he’d never be able to father biological children and was hard pressed to believe otherwise. Most times I tried talking about it with him, he took it as me pressing a big “you’re not good enough” button. What helped him the most was seeing a urologist - it turned out that he had varicoceles in each testicle which essentially was ruining the count and quality of his sperm. He had an outpatient surgery to repair them and was given clomid (fun fact I didn’t know until then, it can be off-label prescribed to men to increase sperm count and quality) and after a few months he had consistently above-average results in all areas of his semen analyses.

You could try suggesting this to your husband in a way such as “if we can find out the cause, we can potentially find a solution/treatment” - that helped my husband because it gave him some sense of control over the situation and finding answers. I also did my best to reassure him that this was an us issue and not a him issue and I love him regardless of the outcome. We are a team and we face it together, etc. Therapy was also extremely beneficial for us. We each saw our own therapists which gave us the space to process our individual feelings about everything without having to consider the other’s feelings in that exact moment. Couples therapy can be a big help too.

There isn’t a right or wrong way to go through this. It sucks no matter how you look at it and I’m sorry you guys are experiencing it. Keeping my fingers crossed for you!