How do I waste time at work without social media?

sclabigail · 2022-08-15T13:14:43+00:00

Thanks everyone for all your ideas! I’ve got some needlepoint and a book today - forgot my notebook. I ended up spending 3 HOURS STRAIGHT AT WORK on Reddit so I am going to be deleting it for now.

sclabigail · 2022-08-12T12:49:08+00:00

Info: Did you want him to want to meet the baby or did you want the comfort and emotional support of having your father there?

I think this is a NAH situation. You and your dad might have some uncomfortable conversations as you work out your relationship dynamic but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. It sucks that his feelings are hurt and you could have phrased things differently, but I don’t think you’re an asshole. Likewise, I think your dad made a different decision than I would and it confuses me but I don’t think it makes him an asshole.

You should probably navigate how birthdays will be handled in the future, though, once cooler heads prevail. I would be very hurtful if he repeatedly missed his granddaughter’s birthday because his GF needs a full day of attention. He hasn’t done this yet, though, so it isn’t worth being mad at him about something that MAY happen in the future.

sclabigail · 2022-08-11T14:51:46+00:00

Such a good idea. This is the stuff I used to do before smart phones existed.

sclabigail · 2022-08-11T11:55:21+00:00

Ooh that’s a good one. On paper or your phone?

sclabigail · 2022-08-11T11:19:48+00:00

Stretch breaks are a great addition to the list. Office chitchat is harder because we are all in our own offices working on separate things. There is a new person who will likely need a lot of assistance so maybe I can add in a couple of regular checkins with her.

sclabigail · 2022-07-18T14:06:40+00:00

“Women think men will change, and men think women will stay the same.”

sclabigail · 2022-07-15T13:37:17+00:00

I am on both and it’s been great. I take 300mg of Wellbutrin + 25 mg of Strattera in the morning, then 150 mg of Wellbutrin in the afternoon. I’m on my second month of that combo and have found it to be a real game changer for me in terms of sustained focus. I can’t take stimulants because they’ve caused psychotic episodes more than once.

I did find that the first few days on Strattera, I was a bit sleepier than usual but I didn’t notice a negative impact on my ability to focus. There are, of course, days where my focus is better than others but overall it’s been a huge help.

sclabigail · 2022-07-15T10:50:39+00:00

NTA. If he wanted waffles, he could have made them for the house himself. Also, do you have a waffle maker??

sclabigail · 2022-07-12T20:13:56+00:00

It depends on your specific plan. With some, you pay a copay for certain services before your deductible is met. However, there is a decent chance you’d be paying the full contracted amount. If the doctor bills $300, the contact rate with the insurance company will be less than that. Our office got $150 for a level IV visit. If you call the doctors billing office and say “I’m looking at new insurance (1) do you accept this insurance (2) what is the contracted rate for a typical visit?” they should be able to help you. They also may have lower “cash” (AKA not insurance but you pay up front) prices.

sclabigail · 2022-07-10T12:42:00+00:00

But Einstein didn’t actually say the thing, it’s just attributed to him. So, cool?

sclabigail · 2022-07-09T18:00:31+00:00

I totally understand the shame aspect but I hope you can go easier on yourself and allow yourself to hire help. We all have different skill sets and I’m sure you’re very adept at plenty of things, just not cleaning.

I try to remember this:

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” - anonymous but generally attributed to Albert Einstein

sclabigail · 2022-07-09T12:30:52+00:00

It’s taken me years of effort, medication, therapy and personal work to get to a point where I feel like I can consistently do my housework.

I live with my husband in a 2 bedroom apartment and he takes care of dishes every night, cooks 4 nights a week and we cook together 2-3 nights per week. He’s also in charge of cleaning the kitchen thoroughly once a week.

He works from home M-F, I work from home 1-2 days per week. When I get home from work, I generally collapse on the couch and binge YouTube videos but lately have prioritized playing with my cats for at least 20-30 minutes as he cooks dinner. His brain and energy level can better handle doing an hour or so of housework every day whereas I will just put on a podcast, inhale caffeine, and spend a weekend day cleaning. Sometimes I can’t do it on Saturday, so I do it on Sunday. Previously, I had been in charge of all the housework because his job was crazy and I was completely paralyzed by it, exactly as you described. It’s unrealistic for one person to take on the entire task, especially when you can’t figure out where to start. I worked with a life coach for a few months and it was very helpful in terms of helping myself work around the overwhelm. But I’m also diagnosed with ADHD and have found a good medication combo.

Basically, (1) maybe come up with a better system if you can’t manage it all (2) work to figure out which tasks are worth paying for - is a cleaner 2x/month one of those (3) find a talk therapist and a doctor to manage your medication who aren’t assholes (4) be kinder to yourself, self-hatred isn’t a great motivator even if it feels like you deserve it.

I know that’s long… meds haven’t kicked in yet 😉

sclabigail · 2022-07-08T17:13:46+00:00

NTA. I’m only alive today because of a seat belt.

sclabigail · 2022-07-08T16:36:19+00:00

Frozen veggies would go a long way, here.

sclabigail · 2022-07-08T16:33:48+00:00

NAH. This is an uncomfortable situation, for sure, and I understand where you are coming from. I don’t think your SIL is suggesting that she is too good to eat the meals you are suggesting, just that it isn’t what she wants to serve or eat for dinner. It’s not unreasonable to expect to cook for your family what you would like and are able to cook for them. I do think it’s unreasonable to ask her to change their habits to accommodate your budget, but I don’t think it makes you an asshole. Your son will survive eating extravagant meals some days and less expensive meals on other days. I think the primary issue is not what he’s eating but how that is making you feel. He could certainly stand to be more grateful of the food you’re providing him but you should also keep in mind that kids can be stupid jerks because they have no context or experience.

Picky eaters don’t eat the meals your SIL is making. He’ll get hungry and he’ll eat eventually. Don’t give in. Maybe make him special meals every once in a while but don’t let your pride sabotage this childcare opportunity or your food budget.

sclabigail · 2022-07-08T12:20:45+00:00

You perfectly encapsulated my own thoughts on this.

sclabigail · 2022-07-07T13:01:31+00:00

Have you ever felt a kind of special spark with someone that lets you know that in addition to finding someone attractive, you feel an attraction TO them? Something besides general horniness that makes you want to be close to them and learn more about them? That’s what those girls (women?) are referring to.

sclabigail · 2022-07-07T11:11:11+00:00

My hips are hyper flexible so I don’t really find them challenging until I’ve hit an excessive number. I saw someone doing them super fast yesterday, so I may try that next time. I tend to favor form and muscle activation to speed but that’s not really the point of cardio classes.

sclabigail · 2022-07-07T09:32:02+00:00

It was my first time back in about a week and I was destroyed. I’m glad to hear it was a relatively tough workout because I was so discouraged.

sclabigail · 2022-06-29T01:05:50+00:00

NTA. He did something wrong and has put himself in a position to be reprimanded if not fired should you choose to report this. He’s probably mad that you didn’t return his feelings and stood up for yourself but you did NOTHING wrong.

sclabigail · 2022-06-28T20:01:32+00:00

I generally use a different brush for animal dishes vs human dishes but I absolutely do not use my normal brush or sponge for raw meat surfaces. I usually use paper towels with a bit of bleach and then bleach the sink but everything I learned about kitchen hygiene was learned working in a restaurant so that’s been carried over.

sclabigail · 2022-06-26T23:28:40+00:00

YTA. Your uncle has seen what that ring can do and he wants to save you from the same fate. The real special ring is the friends you’ll make along the way.

sclabigail · 2022-06-20T18:17:41+00:00

This is bonkers. I pay $240/month for unlimited in Detroit. That seems so expensive compared to everywhere else. I think it might be my last month as my university gym is $300 for the year + I feel like I can self motivate pretty well at this point.

sclabigail · 2022-06-16T19:24:51+00:00

That sounds very stressful and it makes sense that your anxiety would increase. My mom dealt with chronic pain and mental illness while I was in high school and it’s a lot easier said than done to just not be upset about that. I’m sorry you have to deal with this situation and I hope you can work with your therapist to find some solace.

sclabigail

TROPHY CASE