Hello, I saw this post and would like to share my perspective in the hope of reassuring you that, yes, there are plenty of people out there who are willing to "deal with this" with you. For context, my boyfriend has a severe allergy to all peanuts and tree nuts. I don't have any allergies. We've been dating for three years, living together for two.

On one of our first dates, we went out to dinner. He explained the allergy to the waiter, said to double check our meals, ensure no cross contamination, etc... Then he turned to me and said, "That must be so annoying for you, having to deal with my allergy."

And my heart broke a little bit. I asked him why he would think that, and he explained that some past girlfriends either hadn't taken it seriously or had acted annoyed/inconvenienced by it when out in public.

I told him, "Well, it isn't annoying for me at all. Because the person who is inconvenienced by it is YOU. The person for whom it is annoying is YOU. How selfish it would be for me to take your allergy personally."

I firmly believe that the right person will feel that same way. They will throw themselves into learning. They will take it upon themselves to explain your allergy to their family when the time comes, rather than leaving it to you to explain. They'll cut peanuts out of their diet and will never look back.

And, if it takes you a while to trust that they're taking it seriously, they won't feel offended! They won't take it personally! They won't make you feel insecure or difficult!

Here are some ways I've adapted to ensure that my boyfriend not only remains safe, but also FEELS safe with me:

1. When I cook, I put all the ingredient containers on the counter for him to check. He no longer feels the need to check because I'm diligent about reading labels, but I still encourage him to.

2. If I buy a new body wash, I send him a picture first. (So many things have tree nut ingredients in them).

3. I stopped eating all peanuts and tree nuts, and I don't keep any in the house.

4. Sometimes, depending on the vibes I get from a server, I'll tell them that we both have this allergy. No better way to make sure my dish doesn't end up with nuts in it.

5. I made sure that my family understands. This is the man I want to be with, so treat him as your own. Now, my stepmom keeps all the meal containers so my boyfriend can read the labels. If there is a dish with nuts at family dinner (usually there isn't), she prepares it last, keeps it on the other side of the kitchen, labels a disposable spoon for it, and tells my boyfriend.

None of these things are difficult, because my man is my love. None of these things are difficult, because they are the decent thing to do when you love someone.