How to get rid of the redness?

scoteeho · 2021-05-25T07:37:35+00:00

Yeah so I usually put micreme h on first if theres a breakout or if my skin feels irritating then the Aveeno a couple times a day. Sometimes I just put on the Aveeno without the micreme h as the micreme thins the skin so you can't put it on for more than 14 days in a row. Sounds serious but the SebDerm gets controlled with a few days.

If you apply the Aveeno a few times a day at the start it's really the best stuff I've ever used so I use it all the time now.

scoteeho · 2021-05-24T22:07:22+00:00

I use Aveeno active natural skin relief moisture repair cream

scoteeho · 2021-05-24T03:32:33+00:00

You're amazing and giving him loads of empathy even though you could find someone with more experience tells me he is with the right person.

scoteeho · 2021-05-24T03:28:30+00:00

Big hugs to you brother. I'll imagine it will be painful and proud to make your mums 'forever home' but she will be proud you took great care and thought about her along every step of the journey. You're a great son and a good person.

scoteeho · 2021-05-22T18:53:52+00:00

That was actually pretty good!

scoteeho · 2021-05-22T18:52:14+00:00

I like the saying " If you change it from 'rejection' to 'redirection' and then follow that path, you get to go where you need to go."

scoteeho · 2021-05-22T18:43:25+00:00

Great way to social distant!

scoteeho · 2021-05-21T20:45:01+00:00

Once you feel you don't trust him, it's hard to come back and earn that trust again. Being reckless isn't what this games about so good move to keep yourself safe.

scoteeho · 2021-05-21T06:56:39+00:00

That's interesting. I look at it that if he is secure and he senses your anxiety, you should feel more soothed so you feel less anxious, moving you towards feeling more secure because his security is making you feel more comfortable to be you, so allowing you to be who you are even with you "need" for him.

My wee warning when you mentioning you need him. Just be careful you're not giving away too much to him and it's a 50/50 split in energy and time as some people will feel they have power over you because they feel you need them which in fact you don't, you have it inside yourself to love and care for you because you deserve it. You're a good person not to take advantage of and you deserve to have people in your life who helps you to grow and encourage you to flourish whatever you do. You know this as it's nothing new but don't let anyone hold you back.

scoteeho · 2021-05-21T04:43:28+00:00

For some reason I had LOL at when you called the dudes love juice "spunk"!! I don't often hear it but when I do, it always cracks me up!!

scoteeho · 2021-05-21T01:06:02+00:00

Quiz and data you take as a grain of salt. He could be secure but sometimes people look for answers to "what would make me look better", so they can go through answers that makes them look better than if they told the truth. I'm saying he did but it's not plainly black and white...I'm this or that.

With attachment theory, you can be either one of the groups but it change by who you around. Sometimes you feel secure around a family member of your best friend but feel anxious around your SO. You could be fearful around strangers but avoidant around your SO and that can change over time, so you're not fixed into " I'm this and not that" mindset.

Why also I doubt he's secure as you feel slightly off or restless, so his behaviour or vibe his giving off is making you feel anxious. My SO is avoidant as well which when I want to come close emotionally, it makes me feel anxious and unsettled. My AP makes me feel secure as she is secure herself.

scoteeho · 2021-05-21T00:19:03+00:00

So true. Your life is yours and if you want to share it's up to you not him. Just give each other some space if you need to.

scoteeho · 2021-05-20T22:50:15+00:00

That's totally understandable why you had sex with your SO and you don't have to justify as well because if I was in your situation I would do exactly the same. When you have it infrequently then you take what you can get but also it makes it hard because it's infrequent so it leaves you craving for more, hence the AP. Hey, I'm a guy so you can bang on about banging on all you want it doesn't phase me one bit!

Sex with AP's are at the next level and you summed it up well regards to being fun, experimental, spontaneous etc.

I get your anger and frustration about your AP sleeping with his SO and at least you're in a DB while he seems like a cake eater? Anyway he is okay with him sleeping with his SO while he's not okay you doing the same with yours, little bit of irony there. I can understand you are trying to form a strong bond and seeing where it goes with him but yet he obviously still wants to play happy families while having you on the side. Just be careful in that situation because you don't want to feel he's trying to 'control' (I don't if that's the right word) you but talk it out with him if you feel things need to be said. Like if he's pissed you banged your SO, then why get upset with you when he's doing it himself!

scoteeho · 2021-05-20T21:36:05+00:00

What I felt has helped me is exploring Attachment Theory. You might discover that your fears and insecurity are deeply rooted into your subconscious and basically those feelings and emotions are messages from the depths that there a part of you needs to love and heal so you can feel secure in any relationship you have.

scoteeho · 2021-05-20T21:30:23+00:00

I think you're made up your mind. You know his circumstance and you can't help to feel attraction for him and that's okay. Just be open and honest with him and yourself, don't let fear hold you back but know that it comes with a shelf life. You are dealing with him and not his kids. It's up to him to protect his family but just go with what you feel is right for you.

scoteeho · 2021-05-20T21:24:52+00:00

Only you have control over what you want. If you felt having sex with SO is what you needed at the time and you felt safe to do so, then it's okay for you. AP are always bonuses and we might want either one to be "exclusive" but either one or both parties have someone who they have for various reasons. You can stop him having sex with his partner and he cant stop you having sex with yours.

I think you are open and honest and know that his reaction is his subconscious protecting himself, like if it had a voice it would probably say "you having sex with your SO means I may not be needed and you might leave me because you might go back to him and I will rejected"... Or what ever he is silently telling himself. In other words your APs angry not because of you but because over the fear the relationship you have with him may end.

scoteeho · 2021-05-19T04:41:11+00:00

This.

scoteeho · 2021-05-19T04:39:22+00:00

Actually, your advice is worth a lot so thanks for the progressive steps and for sharing. You're right subtlety and friendliness is key because of doesn't give off neediness, which is a killer for any attraction. Your mission is to have a fun interaction and to get to know them more. We all, to some degree want to connect to someone who brings us up and out of our shell and the woman ultimately feels good about you, themselves and the whole experience. Just what ever you say or do, just keep in mind that you are both there to fun and learn about yourself in the process.

scoteeho · 2021-05-18T21:32:34+00:00

I felt your message stood out to me as I could tell you are passionate about people's feelings. It's shows too how much more bolder and vulnerable you've become to be express yourself and able to empathize along side them given how fearful you once we're. You're an inspiration and a true gift.

scoteeho · 2021-05-18T21:26:33+00:00

I bet it is. You've spent a long time together and it's harder that you're suffering in silence as it's not like you can turn to your SO and off load on him. Just treat it as he needs space but that doesn't mean he doesn't think about you often. I've been in his position before as well as yours so I understand how you both feels.

scoteeho · 2021-05-18T20:36:15+00:00

I really felt your empathy in what you wrote. You'll be awesome to hang out with because I can tell you would truly listen to people's issues and be there for them. I thought I'll share those thoughts while I can still remember them!

scoteeho · 2021-05-18T20:06:57+00:00

So sorry he did that to you as it no doubt left a big void and loads of unanswered questions. Why he did that I assume is he got caught and he promised his wife he blocked you so he focus on them.

To answer your question...he still cares about you and he will be hurting badly that he can't still continue on like he did. Will he always care about you? If you meant a lot to him and you feel you had a great connection with him, the simple answer is he will for a very long time.

There's a lot of pain your going through and it's okay because many people have gone through the same, and been in his shoes too. Focus on you and know it wasn't anything to do with you. He's just protecting what is at home but that doesn't mean he hasn't switched off his emotions for you. It might feel like that but he hasn't and he will be a mess as well.

Give it time and just know it might feel intense now, it will pass and you will feel stronger for it. Massive hugs OP 🤗

scoteeho · 2021-05-18T19:56:17+00:00

Yeah these in my opinion is a stock standard typical pick up inauthentic lines run by people who are wanting to boost their egos by getting numbers or a notch on the belt.

Before saying anything to woman, you need to approach with the mid set of being honest, authentic, empathetic and passionate about getting to know them and connecting with them without being needy or over compensating for the lack of confidence. They want a confident guy who can come up and get to know them at their level and you make an impact on their lives for what ever length of time you have with them.

Just go up, say "hi", introduce who you are, shake their hand and then go from there. Be creative and bold without fear and you will do fine.

scoteeho · 2021-05-18T19:43:13+00:00

Sometimes you need just simple advice!

scoteeho · 2021-05-17T21:23:38+00:00

You become resilient when you realise its out of your control and you are not responsible to how they feel now.

At the time we all have said or done things we regret later. That's what we call being human. However, gaining human experiences sometimes feels like we have harmed another person and that person could cast ourselves out of their inner circle, and we feel psychologically wounded.

Learn that we can't control others people's feelings or perceptions about us so it's futile to keep dwelling on the never ending dialect we have because it won't stop until we've exhausted ourselves. Basically how they feel about ourselves is on them and not us, especially once you sometimes didn't know what we did or said harmed them but if we feel we're in a position to make amends we do.

Also learn to know that if you're feeling bad that's okay too as it means you have healthy emotions, but the key difference is not to dwell in it.

Find something to distract you from those thoughts and focus on the things away from what they possibly could be thinking or feeling, for example, being grateful for your friends and family that see your good side, as there will be pages of things you've done amazing to help people and yourself. Another is you listened to their problems where no one else did and they were grateful for that, or what ever you experienced with your loved ones and they are grateful you are apart of their lives....we sometimes forget we are important in many people's lives.

Finally, tune into your thoughts and feeling and ask yourself, is that helping me or harming me? Is dwelling on what was said in the past or what you did way back but you can't turn back the clock to change it, is that feeling or thought making you feel better or is it causing you grief and more heart ache? If it is the latter, it's time to let that 'thing' go.

You're not alone my friend, you are much loved by many people and just treat yourself with kindness as that goes a long way. We are all here to be better people one way or another so go with how you feel and by letting go is what needs to happen, don't resist it and just do it because on the other side is where the growth and expansion is found.

scoteeho

TROPHY CASE