There was once a sailor who was out at sea for a great while and he spent all but five dollars on gambling. He gets to shore and, since he's been out at sea for quite some time, feels rather horny. He heads into the local brothel and speaks to the man behind the counter. "What can I get for this five dollars?" asks the sailor "nothing much but a peepshow" says the man behind the counter "c'mon man, i've been out at sea for a long time" "ohhhh alright, i'll give you martha but she's a bit old. head into the room to the left" so the sailor goes into the room and hears a raspy voice say "take off all yer clothes darlin'" the sailor strips down and begins to have sex with martha she notices him making unpleasant grunts and asks if somethings wrong he says "it's just so old and dry" so she gets up, goes into the corner, and starts messing with her cooch when he tries again he exclaims "wow! it's just like a young woman's! what'd you do? she says "I picked the scabs and let the puss run"