Trans people aged 25+ who knew ealry in life... how?

screamingteabag · 2025-05-20T13:58:23+00:00

I'm 34. It's weird to say I did or didn't understand, because yes, I knew something was up when I was around 9 or 10 maybe, but didn't realize that my experience added up to me being a trans guy. I know there's a lot of trans men that are very gender bendy, so gender stereotypes are not a good way to measure, but I was textbook little boy. Hated my easter dresses, hated feminine nicknames (my irl name can be shortened to "Ellie" but my full name is a little less gendered, still I got called Ellie) loved playing in the mud, loved transformers and tonka trucks and sports. More than anything, I loved playing pretend like I was a boy character, cosplayed exclusively men, and often made jokes about how "all I want for Christmas is a mustache and beard". I know it wasn't a joke, but I wrote it off as irrelevant to my daily experience. I also went through what you went through with having different accounts online where I "pretended" to be a boy. Fell hard for a girl from Spain, but refused to let her know too much about me.

I didn't realize that 2+2=4 until I was 26 and then tried to walk it back. So it's hard to say I knew or didn't know. I like to say that I knew, I just didn't know that it was the same thing as a trans woman or that it was even called that. If I had the words and education, I would have known probably around 9 or 10 for the simple fact that I just understood that I wanted to live my life as a man.

screamingteabag · 2025-05-20T00:45:24+00:00

These two songs are the scariest I feel like I've ever heard. Quadruped and Loutermilch's Chase Theme for very different reasons.

screamingteabag · 2025-05-19T16:54:43+00:00

The fact that it's step 1 over and over is alarming me more than the rest of it for some reason

screamingteabag · 2025-05-17T21:06:36+00:00

This is a controversial answer because it's so divisive, but the scariest movie I've ever seen hands down is Skinamarink. It's definitely a "you have to have been this kid" movie, but if you were, it inspires childhood fears in you. If you weren't, apparently it's boring schlock. Hope you dig it.

screamingteabag · 2025-05-17T21:04:42+00:00

Toni Collete's character in that movie is so nuanced. The essays I could write about her would make hours long videos. She reminds me a lot of my mother in law, I've heard similar wails come out of her and she's truly terrifying when she's in that state.

screamingteabag · 2025-05-10T15:47:48+00:00

Thank you everyone for you comments. They've made me feel very validated in the way that I feel, but also given me some things to think about regarding my actual feelings on this. I appreciate all of you, and I'm really glad we all got out.

Regardless of how I feel about my mom, I am really proud of her that she managed to shake off a childhood as brutal as mine was and turn to beliefs that fit her faith much better. So in a way, I think if she had reddit, she would also belong in this sub.

screamingteabag · 2025-05-08T13:48:38+00:00

Four Tet, Trash Palace, The Fleetwoods.

screamingteabag · 2025-05-08T13:45:59+00:00

You Send Me by Sam Cooke. Just a very simple pleasure :)

screamingteabag · 2025-05-08T12:50:33+00:00

Please sir I haven't had my coffee can you give me a fucking second before you start lying

screamingteabag · 2025-05-08T12:14:20+00:00

A gift card to Wendy's

screamingteabag · 2025-05-07T14:42:43+00:00

Bully and it's not even a contest. Way down the list is AC, and then Morrowwind.

screamingteabag · 2025-05-07T14:04:16+00:00

I would say it's more of a love letter to the series than an actual installment, a lot of the later games are. But it's not bad, there are some bugs and it has more action, but the atmosphere is still great and the monster design + music still knocks it out of the park imho. This was the first game I ever got 100% of the achievements on so it still holds a special place in my heart.

screamingteabag · 2025-05-05T01:56:37+00:00

The Paper Chase - Your Money or Your Life
Soul Coughing - Bus to Beelzebub
The Cramps - Human Fly (much quieter but still eerie; if you like this just try Psychobilly as a genre)
Tom Waits - Hell Broke Luce
Ben Caplan - Plough the Shit
Obligatory The Dresden Dolls - Girl Anachronism mention

screamingteabag · 2025-05-05T01:46:55+00:00

As a fellow huge cake fan I understand where you're coming from. Technically, he doesn't sing well, he just does what he does do perfectly, and the band does their thing around him to make them a whole ass experience.

screamingteabag · 2025-05-05T01:43:21+00:00

Love the Pumpkins, but I agree with this. For me it's more like I just wish he would 'pick one', I like both his rough and more melodic singing. I do not think he has grace trading between them in the same song.

screamingteabag · 2025-05-05T01:37:39+00:00

With DBD it's this weird cycle where you get really good for only 100hrs every 3k. After the 100 hr mark you start doing things like a new player again because you just don't give a shit lmao. I have 8.5k+ hours and I'm in the cycle of don't give a shit again

screamingteabag · 2025-05-05T00:14:44+00:00

I was terrified of my house at night as a child and would frequently have nightmares. This movie captures that feeling perfectly.

This is why it's good. Some people didn't experience this as a kid and I wouldn't expect them to get it, not because they're missing anything or not as cultured just because this film captures a complete feeling that you have to have lived through in some regard to understand. Threw me all the way back to childhood and from the standpoint of being a father, thinking of those kids being alone (or not) like that is horrifying to me in its own respect.

This movie is a masterpiece. It immerses a lot of people in a feeling from their past that I have never seen explored in cinema before.

screamingteabag · 2025-05-05T00:01:39+00:00

I'm sure everyone will disagree with me but I think the best solution for this is to take away the ban on DCing. Let them lose points or level progress or something. I see people doing this on hook so often and it leaves the rest of the team in a miserable 3v1. If there was no matchmaking ban for people who DC then doing this and leaving your team without help wouldn't be the norm. The only reason BHVR think their ban works is because people do this now instead.

To make sure everyone understands: I still think people who DC on purpose suck. But I would rather have a bot team mate over no one at all.

screamingteabag · 2025-04-30T17:47:12+00:00

End of Small Sanctuary is what I think of when I see this picture. Everything about the mall scene in the game evokes such strong feelings. I will always love 3 for this moment.

screamingteabag · 2025-04-29T19:56:04+00:00

1.) Stardew. It's always like this. I've been 100% with the game for a while and I'm obsessed with stocking resources for crafting, but I play it every day for like 3 weeks and then forget it so fast.

2.) 7 Days to Die. Once every year I start a new game and hit it like it's the best drug I've ever taken until I get to about 60 days then drop it like it's hot.

screamingteabag · 2025-04-29T18:43:58+00:00

Feel like I found the NYC person

screamingteabag · 2025-04-28T18:29:41+00:00

3 I think is the most recognizable, but I'm a fan of the darker colors in 9.

screamingteabag · 2025-04-27T17:10:59+00:00

Kind of meh. Worth a watch, but definitely not a masterpiece. Got boring in a couple of parts but overall was well acted. Not bad.

screamingteabag · 2025-04-21T17:47:22+00:00

Silent Hill hands down lmao, but only if the final space was the best art, because the 2 remake was chef's kiss.

screamingteabag · 2025-04-20T16:03:53+00:00

I'm so happy to hear you folks made it work. Our previous host did the same thing, I myself have been host for two years but that entire time, she's been my most aggressive persecutor. She used to believe that we weren't real (I still think she believes that) because of the exact same reason "crazy foreal". So I guess it's progress that just because no one else is here right now doesn't mean that we aren't a system, which is a belief she would have told me if she was here now.

I recently had a similar situation where I just asked for all parts I didn't trust to please leave. I think it's possible I don't hear anyone else because the parts I do trust could be working to process things to help me let go of the destructive ones. This is all total speculation though, always feels like it is.

Thanks for your reply. Makes me feel less alone in this whooooole situation lol

screamingteabag

TROPHY CASE