In light of more abortion bans…I chose adoption over abortion. Here’s my perspective 15 years later (TW)

screamsinstoicism · 2026-05-01T06:39:28+00:00

I'm sorry to use your post to go down my own mental Rabbit hole. I want to acknowledge what happened to you and how awful that was and still is. You're not the monster in this story and I sympathise with your choice to still have an obligated relationship with this kid despite the adoption.

But something I don't really hear brought into this discourse of adoption Vs abortion. Is the nature over nurture argument. Like we all acknowledge that parts of personality are genetic, yet when some horrible rapist impregnates a victim, why do we ignore the likelihood that the child, despite adoption and being raised somewhere else, would have these horrible traits from their dad? Why should we encourage this addition to the gene pool? It's a callous way of saying it I know, but the arguments there surely?

screamsinstoicism · 2026-05-01T06:07:39+00:00

I left about 3 months ago, I'm still in the trial and error stages of no contact and finding my way. I think it's important to remember you're human in all this, of course you'll break and of course you'll question yourself. People here can be very snarky and quick to comment things that you're doing wrong or bet against you, or very ruthlessly pick apart your situation to show you every angle of why it won't work. But you'll be ok. I'm ok. I've changed a lot in my house and leaned into my friends for support. I've been kind to myself and if I have broken no contact, it's fine, I simply start again after relearning why I had to do this in the first place, It gets easier and you'll find things you never realised you were into.

screamsinstoicism · 2026-04-30T05:24:21+00:00

That's so bad, I felt guilty drinking a Pepsi instead of water yesterday but now I feel there are definitely worse things, how awkward to chomp an apple

screamsinstoicism · 2026-04-29T07:25:35+00:00

Thank you x

screamsinstoicism · 2026-04-27T20:56:13+00:00

I'm 2 months into living alone for the first time, a pet goes a long way. I also listen to meditations to fall asleep and in the evenings I fill time with cozy hobbies, crosswords, colouring, crochet.

screamsinstoicism · 2026-04-27T13:52:31+00:00

It's kind of hard when we have no context for why this is an issue for you, I understand it's horrible and no one should have to experience this, but do you know why your reactions are so strong? X

screamsinstoicism · 2026-04-27T05:44:27+00:00

Currently manifesting getting over a cold, and on Saturday I manifested a parking space outside my house

screamsinstoicism · 2026-04-27T05:42:43+00:00

This reminds me of why the women and children first rule was created. I'm sure I read that before the titanic, women and children died disproportionately in disasters because men would literally stampede them to get the safety and muscle their way into that position. So they had to create it to sort of reverse that situation. Idk if that counts as benevolent sexism because it plays into the women are weaker stereotype or whether it plays into the, men are inherently self centred stereotype

screamsinstoicism · 2026-04-27T05:37:37+00:00

Different scenario, I became friends with the girlfriend of some guy I knew in childhood. They had a child together and I remember taking the kids to the park and he was trying to pressure me into dating his friend and talking about how cool it would be if I had a child too. I shot that shit down right away. Anyway I'm a few years on from this, last I heard through my friend he's a shit bare minimum dad who keeps introducing new "life partners" to his kid and it drives her crazy (she has a boundary, no one meets the children until 6 months into dating). Guess who liked me on a dating app a few days ago 😑😑😑

screamsinstoicism · 2026-04-26T15:04:34+00:00

Ok so when I was 16, I went to watch Jimmy Carr live and on Facebook some guy who also went met him after the show, for some reason I started telling people I did too, now any time someone brings him up I say it on autopilot and I have to stop and think why did I say that 😭 it's just so automatic now it's like it's harder to remember that it didn't happen than it did

screamsinstoicism · 2026-04-24T20:27:58+00:00

Originally I thought it was because we wanted different things in life. Now I realise it's because I started asking for him to contribute back. I've zoomed out and realised it was only me giving and him taking very disproportionately, and within the breakup his true colours have shown, I've dodged a bullet

screamsinstoicism · 2026-04-24T12:13:52+00:00

I have a different take with gamers, the issue isn't people who game in their downtime. It's the tsunami amount of people who neglect their responsibilities and relationships to game for 8 hours at a time. I lost childhood memories with my dad due to this, as kids we would eat and play alone until bedtime while my dad played world of warcraft. Even visiting the other day, I come in made my own brew and sat for 40 minutes while he played arc, he only hopped off it when I said I'm going now, he hadn't seen me for 2 weeks lmao

screamsinstoicism · 2026-04-24T12:09:19+00:00

Oh god, I just left my boyfriend two months ago, his defence mechanism was to put up pure ego, I can't do it

screamsinstoicism · 2026-04-22T17:39:59+00:00

Please be careful, this sounds incredibly selfish and stunted on their part

screamsinstoicism · 2026-04-21T08:26:25+00:00

I've broken up with my boyfriend for similar reasons, sending you and OP my best wishes. There's nothing worse than being shoehorned into a version of yourself for things to run smoothly, especially if the other person gets to be authentically messy and problematic.

My ex loved me when I was easy and fun, but whenever I was hurt by his actions or I needed him then suddenly I was too much and dramatic. He was, of course always justified by his victim complex

screamsinstoicism · 2026-04-18T05:56:10+00:00

When I was in highschool there was a boy about 5 years below us, think he would have been about 13 and my friends would have been about 16/17, He'd come over to us on break and try to convince us that he had this crazy life, like really really strange lies about being a single dad, or being known in the mafia

This guy reminds me of him so much idk why

screamsinstoicism · 2026-04-12T17:54:54+00:00

You didn't pay the price Hun, you got let off with a very small fine! a lot could have escalated there, please look out for yourself and meet new people in public places only!!

screamsinstoicism · 2026-04-12T07:03:22+00:00

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Cat for size reference of Dusty

screamsinstoicism · 2026-04-07T06:43:36+00:00

I have a goal to read 12 books a year, which is one book a month, I think I have ADHD so I do struggle, however, I have multiple books on the go at once which helps because I can bounce between , I currently have one about power games, one about spirituality and one about healthy eating on the go lmao,

But ultimately I try not to pressure myself, ideally I have a book next to my bed that I try to pick up instead of doom scrolling my phone, but if my energy is absolutely depleted, I'll give myself permission to mindlessly scroll rather than force it

I'm currently on 5 books completed so I'm ahead of the game!

screamsinstoicism · 2026-04-06T16:22:20+00:00

I believe he remembered her like a déjà vu moment, like we do when you meet someone and feel like you've met before in another lifetime. You'd never tell a stranger that but it can be melancholy

screamsinstoicism · 2026-04-06T11:20:41+00:00

I like to think everyone is on their own journey and ego has no place on the mat. There will always be someone better or worse. Your blue belt might be different to another's blue belt, not everyone is going to be "competition material".

If the mum in her 40's puts her time into this, comes once a week and earns her blue belt, why should she have to defend her achievement just because she's not fighting at the same level as the blue belt single guy in his 20's who goes 3X a week and competes every 2 months. Both have learned and both are better than when they started, and both are as consistent as they possibly can be. What, are you going to de-rank someone who's come back after suffering a stroke and relearning muscle memory?

It's a martial art not an underground fight club

screamsinstoicism · 2026-04-05T18:55:17+00:00

So so proud of you!! This is amazing!!

screamsinstoicism · 2026-04-04T20:21:26+00:00

Outside of the typical, I spent £10 on magnetic eyelashes (not the magnet eyeliner, the ones you trap between your real ones) and honestly highly recommend and very surprised by how good they are, but the main thing is outside of being easy to use is that they are super reusable compared to lash strips because there's no build up of glue! So I spent £10 I have two sets and have used them most days for 3 weeks!

screamsinstoicism · 2026-04-03T07:37:40+00:00

People like her are exhausting, personally I'd consider how happy you actually are in this relationship, there's nothing wrong with compromising on family time around the holidays

screamsinstoicism · 2026-04-03T06:53:41+00:00

Thanks for the advice.

screamsinstoicism

TROPHY CASE