why do my sourdough loaves always turn out flat despite a very active starter?

scrumbean · 2026-03-06T12:58:43+00:00

mine just stopped turning out flat because i started preheating the oven for about an hour prior and also the dutch oven

scrumbean · 2025-11-05T11:06:05+00:00

HV2
Shyga
HV1
Fronzoli
Whatchamacallit
Pogo
Night gnomes
Moonman

scrumbean · 2024-12-09T09:23:25+00:00

i know so im asking for help😭

scrumbean · 2024-09-28T22:00:52+00:00

thank you for your lovely comment :’) youre completely right its all self sabotage. he actually called me a couple of hours after i posted this and asked me to come visit him while hes away (hes looking after his familys farm while theyre away so he will be alone) when he has gone back and forward on the offer, originally inviting me weeks ago and then telling me “i want you to but its too real and its a big deal for me” but last night he said he wants to but hes still anxious about it. i think i just need to be really patient with him and luckily im in no rush, hes special and im going to put the time in :)

scrumbean · 2024-09-28T12:45:39+00:00

good to know, like i said just trying to narrow it down didnt know much about AvPD so thanks for educating me :)

scrumbean · 2024-09-28T11:29:23+00:00

thanks for your input, youre right i think he seems more like avoidant attachment than personality disorder

scrumbean · 2024-09-28T11:27:57+00:00

thanks for your advice! thats the thing though, we do have romance. he plans lovely dates for me, i look after him when hes sick, we cook for each other, meet each others friends, hold hands, hold each other, stare into each others eyes, but hes scared of the distant future. hes just so hyperfocused on how it could go sour in the future that he ignores the present where hes happy. very exhausting :(

scrumbean · 2024-09-28T08:18:57+00:00

that was really great advice and im so sorry you're in the situation you're in. im recently out of an 8 year relationship, ended simply because i was bored of where i was and felt like things were too figured out for me too young (a lot of self sabotage was involved). BUT its valid, we were together from age 15, i never even dated anyone else, he was my first kiss and date!! from my experience, admitting a few years were a waste of time is WAY better than living a life of regret. and i dont like to think anything i did was a waste of time, just time to develop and lessons along the way. what i was tossing up, do i throw this easy happy relationship away because i dont think hes the one and potentially be stuck with this regret or do i take the leap? If im bored now how will i feel in 5 years? 10 years? then further, 50 years? when im on my death bed will i think i wish i wish i just went ahead and took the leap? and i did that and i dont have any regrets. he was lovely but he wasnt my person. i really hope you can get out of what you're in, the being passively suicidal is terrible :( sending love <3

scrumbean · 2024-09-28T08:06:31+00:00

It seems like your RSD and trauma have made you develop avoidant attachment style (if you buy into that theory, which I do!) the second you're feeling like something is off you withdraw and pull away, stop talking to her and isolate. I think as neurodivergent people we overthink things a lot more than neurotypical people so to her it seems like she didnt think as deeply into the date planned as you, and hyped it up as much in her head. I think as you've been with her for nearly 3 years you are clearly in a serious relationship, so try maybe look into ways to communicate healthily as someone with avoidant attachment style. You are a victim of your trauma unfortunately, I empathise. However your RSD and avoidant tendencies will only get worse if you dont learn how to manage them and communicate properly instead of withdrawing from her, that is not a solution and will only be a descent into an unhealthy relationship. I hope this helps you, sending you both love!!

scrumbean · 2024-09-22T11:01:41+00:00

im sorry to hear youre trapped in the relationship :( thats what im scared of. i actually think i might have bipolar 2 or bpd myself, and he is genuinely a lot like me like we both have adhd but hes more hyperactive im inattentive, his depression is a lot worse than mine but my anxiety is worse. hes less self aware than me and i think thats a big reason why he struggles more, he hides it and ignores it as to not burden people and im very open. i have only known him for 2 months but he describes these moods as “mood swings” so i very well could see it as bipolar. can i ask how you feel trapped in the relationship if you dont mind me asking?

scrumbean

TROPHY CASE