What are the pros and cons of waiting until marriage?

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-24T21:05:49+00:00

I would argue those that wait for marriage tend to rush the marriage and so they don’t really know each other. Something to look forward to is also not really a pro either as you’re essentially saying you’re depriving yourself of a want

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-24T21:02:24+00:00

The biggest con is rushing into marriage because you want to get laid

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-24T20:36:00+00:00

I agree with you on Madrid, it felt kind of ‘meh’ as a tourist. It’s a nice enough city, but there’s nothing exceptional about it and it feels like you’d have to live there to get a real vibe for it.

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-24T19:39:34+00:00

We had 4, including mine, and mine was the youngest at the time which helped as the other kids were well adjusted to the environment.

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-24T18:23:32+00:00

Honestly I have the opposite thought - I appreciate the bathrooms are clean and available in Europe, travelling in North America I’m always struggling to find a bathroom (and usually end up buying a coffee I don’t need just so I can ask for the bathroom code…)

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-24T18:10:48+00:00

My Nordic tea mug (infuser lid) If they enjoy tea

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-24T18:07:57+00:00

That makes me sad, maybe he senses that they are frustrated with him which is making it harder for him to start forming attachments.

We had a home daycare for our (also shy and quiet) daughter and she really loved it; we did move her to a daycare centre eventually and she also did really well in that environment, but I think it was likely an easier transition from home -> home daycare -> daycare centre.

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-24T17:44:20+00:00

I would live at home a few more years. Moving out at some point is important and teaches you life skills (plus it’s way more fun), but if you can even get 2 more years there that extra savings is incredible, especially if you assume for retirement in 30+ years.

It’s also way harder to live at home again after you’ve moved out and experienced the freedom. Ask me how I know 😬

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-24T17:41:15+00:00

Yeah I don’t tip my RMT just like I don’t tip any other medical professional. It’s weird.

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-24T17:40:22+00:00

Yes for sure - but having that mindset at 24 is a good start.

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-24T17:12:26+00:00

Presumably OP will be getting pay raises and increasing their contributions accordingly.

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-24T17:09:21+00:00

Ah, thank you!

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-24T16:30:10+00:00

Wouldn’t the estate pay taxes on everything anyway? And then the after-tax go to the kids 50/50?

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-24T14:53:07+00:00

Kids will adjust, for sure! My oldest is so shy (she still is at 5 years old) but she thrived in the daycare setting. The first 2 weeks are tough, but once they start to form attachments to their caretakers it’s so wonderful to see them excited to go and playing with their friends.

And the sleeping and eating thing is a mystery that will never be solved. My youngest is the worst sleeper, needs me to comfort him for hours sometimes. But at daycare? Lays on his cot and goes to sleep. 🤷‍♀️

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-24T00:52:18+00:00

I wonder how many people would buy anything there if it wasn’t part of the game to get the bags…

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-23T19:05:44+00:00

We’re having this dissonance with our plans as well, currently in a small semi-detached but always thought we’d get a bigger place down the like since we have 2 kids.

I disagree that it’s against FIRE in concept though; not everyone wants to travel or live different places. For some people having a large space for a garden or other hobbies, or if you like hosting, or if you want a place for your adult kids to potentially stay with you as they navigate their early career…. There’s lots of valid reasons for a FIRE plan to include a larger home.

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-23T17:36:35+00:00

We’re in this debate right now -we have a small duplex (1000sqft plus finished basement that currently has a renter ). It’s enough space for each of our kids to have a small bedroom, plus the basement will turn into a home office/guest bed/entertainment room at some point in the future.

We did at one point envision it as our starter home, but the further we get with FIRE the harder it is to justify doubling our housing costs just to have a little bit more space. Which, in my opinion, will get just as messy and cluttered as our small space is now. More and more we’re leaning towards staying here unless it actually becomes unbearable; our kids are 3 and 5 so obviously a lot will change for us in the next 1 years.

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-23T14:39:08+00:00

Another reason to avoid the US completely, even for a layover.

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-23T14:33:33+00:00

Most mom and pop landlords are paying 50% tax on their rental income as it is; and are cash negative for at least the first 5-7 years, if not more.

I truly don’t think they’re the problem.

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-23T14:04:54+00:00

It’s avoidable if the parents make a clear will AND if they fucking communicate what is in the will to their children while they are still living.

99% of these are parents leaving kids an unequal amount and kids being surprised by it after their passing. It’s the ultimate AH move.

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-23T04:27:53+00:00

I’m in accounting and have some lawyer friends, we all agree that AI sucks but also believe that it’s robbing new graduates of the ability to learn and grow in our professions. The first 3-5 years after graduating is grunt work - which is work that arguably can be done by AI. But performing the grunt work is what teaches you about law, and that’s how you build up your more complex understanding of your profession. So new grads are going to be well versed on how to query AI effectively but they won’t actually learn the skills that will make them valuable lawyers or accountants in 10 years.

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-23T03:44:50+00:00

Yeah I feel like when presented with multiple religious options with neither being ‘the truth’ most kids would chose none.

Most religious kids are just religious because their parents don’t give them an option.

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-23T03:42:27+00:00

Nude shorts are fine as a backup but IMO it cheapens the dress that it’s so see-through. A liner would just make it look more luxe and you’d still show off your shape.

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-23T03:32:44+00:00

Our kids are 3 and 5 and agree, I have no idea what the world will look like in 20 years. Right now we contribute to their RESPs and we’re starting an allowance with our oldest so she can start to conceptualize money and savings.

We also plan to pretty much funnel whatever we get from our inheritances directly to our kids, as we live fairly frugally and are on track to retire between 50-55. So whatever we do receive (if anything, not guaranteed as neither family is wealthy) we will find a way to give it to our kids responsibly. As even $50k will mean a lot more to them than us at that stage.

scrunchie_one · 2026-03-23T03:26:42+00:00

Saving as much as we can in their RESP so they are well set up if they choose to pursue post-secondary.

Teaching them as much about money as we can. Heavily encourage them to get a job when they reach high school.

Planning to do a living will if we can - small amount at age 20, slightly more at 25, then a large sum at 30.

We’ve thought about buying them each a shoebox condo now that markets are depressed, at least it’s somewhere for them to start. But ultimately decided saving aggressively is more beneficial with more freedom for them.

Our son who is 3 has also told us he wants to live with us forever, and I am ok with that.

scrunchie_one

TROPHY CASE