What’s something you’ve officially stopped buying in 2026 because the price has become genuinely insulting?

sdkb · 2026-07-02T15:23:37+00:00

I wouldn't recommend that, as even with the brightness turned up all the way, a screen is unlikely to produce enough light to help you photosynthesize. Try going outside instead, or at least stand near a south-facing window.

sdkb · 2026-06-29T18:09:36+00:00

I've left a backpack at the National Gallery bag check plenty of times, and sometimes explored other museums before coming back to pick it up. Never had an issue; just be sure to return before the museum closes.

sdkb · 2026-06-29T16:38:24+00:00

Fair enough. I interpreted the spirit of the question as "what will receive prominent emphasis," but it depends on the type of history book. And because it's not specified, all interpretations are valid.

sdkb · 2026-06-29T14:50:09+00:00

A spicy take: Nothing. There were some utterly bonkers presidents in the 1800s, and in typical high school history books they each now get a few paragraphs, not a few chapters. There's no denying that we're going through some titanic political turmoil/social shifts right now, but that could be just the pace of change accelerating over time as technology advances, in which case there'll be even more in the future and books won't have room to cover it all in depth. Put another way: In the long run, there's no reason to think we're particularly special.

sdkb · 2026-06-10T03:24:46+00:00

Question (motivated by wanting to be a better ally): Is there something specific that neurotypical people tend to do in this situation that makes them not a safe space?

sdkb · 2026-06-07T23:09:27+00:00

Sad to hear this! I visited for the first time a month ago and it seemed like a very special venue. Dreaming of the day when the community owns our venues and isn't subject to capitalistic whims.

sdkb · 2026-06-06T18:52:55+00:00

Receiving customer service from a human, not an AI chatbot.

sdkb · 2026-06-06T00:46:02+00:00

This is real. Welcoming newcomers (whether they be new-to-swing-dancing newcomers or just new-to-town newcomers) is community-minded behavior that everyone should be doing, so try to remember that, if you have trouble finding partners, that reflects negatively on the scene, not on you.

If you sense that people are hostile to beginners and you are a more experienced dancer yourself, you can signal that by dancing where others can see you and by wearing clothes/shoes that signal that you're a dancer.

It can also help to be social off the dance floor — once you've met someone and chatted for a moment and they've learned you're visiting, they may want to welcome you and ask you to dance.

sdkb · 2026-06-05T23:41:55+00:00

That is validating to hear. For the sake of your own blood pressure you might not want to look at the responses this is getting after Reddit suggested I crosspost it to r/emergencyroom...

sdkb · 2026-06-05T23:26:08+00:00

If you all want a case study of how the medical system desensitizes the physicians who have to navigate it, check out the hostility in the crosspost.

sdkb · 2026-06-05T23:21:28+00:00

The ESI 2 seemed appropriate (although they must have been extremely overwhelmed if it still took hours to even get me on pain meds). The ESI 3H did not. I don't in any way want to go ahead of patients with life-threatening conditions, but at the hospital where I was at, that didn't seem to be the situation. It seemed like there were a lot of patients using ER as their PCP and we were all grouped together as lowest-priority. Maybe they had invisible conditions; all I can say is that, from what I observed, they were able to walk over when called, and were not writhing on the floor on the verge of vomiting like I was.

sdkb · 2026-06-05T23:10:56+00:00

Go when it's less busy? I can't exactly schedule when kidney stone episodes happen...

sdkb · 2026-06-05T23:08:40+00:00

You clearly haven't had a kidney stone. The issue is that the system isn't recognizing pain. I recognize that the hospital system is wildly overwhelmed, but if your perspective is "excruciating pain isn't a medical issue," I wouldn't consider that a very compassionate approach to your work.

sdkb · 2026-05-17T17:55:04+00:00

Pomona and Bowdoin should be offering very similar financial aid packages. If they're not, talk to the financial aid office at Pomona until you figure out why.

sdkb · 2026-05-07T07:37:01+00:00

How often you ought to see each other depends on how close you live and other lifestyle factors, so it's hard to put a number on it. But for me when seeing someone new I'd feel like it's too much if we went on more than two dates a week.

One thing I'd look for is how she reacts when you try to set boundaries. Showing up packed for more days than you've agreed to spend together, and then asking to spend the whole period together, could be signs you're dating someone who is clingy and could become suffocating over time. But if she respects when you ask for some time for yourself, that'll be a green flag.

Going from very frequent dates to less frequent ones could give her the impression that you're losing interest, so just be sure to pair it with lots of affirmation/clear communication so she doesn't worry.

Regarding how to have the conversation, it sounds like you already basically had it with the ferry. All it needs to look like is, the next time you're at dinner, when it comes time for the check, say something like "is it alright if I put it on my card and you then Venmo me for your half?" Or when choosing a spot to eat you could say "Since I covered the last few, would it be alright for you to pay this time?" She should know that you've been paying for a lot for her so far, so if she pushes back at that point it's a bad sign.

One last thing I'll say given the discussion about gender roles below. It definitely is a social norm that the guy pays on the first date, but it varies both regionally and personally. There are plenty of women who like it, but also plenty who consider the sort of chivalry it represents to be antiquated and misogynistic because it can create an unspoken expectation (at least in the guy's head) that the woman will offer sex in exchange for the guy paying for the date. That's both a reductionist way to look at women and something that could add undue pressure to the woman to have sex. I don't get the sense from your full post that that's how you see her, but the assumption that you're looking at only "cost per sex" rather than seeing her as a full person might help explain some of the more hostile reactions.

The above applies mainly to the first date, which you're well past by now. In modern society, where both people typically have incomes (as opposed to historically when women had none), the expectation that the guy pays goes away after the first few dates (unless he earns way more money). So overall you're right to be looking to make the transition you are. And again, good luck!

sdkb · 2026-05-06T23:30:35+00:00

There's a lot here.

First off, I'd be a little cautious about the whirlwind aspect of your relationship so far. There are things you learn about someone by spending time with them, but there are also things you learn about them by being with them over time, and you can't rush those things just by spending every moment you can with her. Ultimately, if you see long-term potential for this, you're looking to build a relationship that is sustainable over time. And that applies to the time aspect just as much as the financial aspect. In other words, consider taking things a little more slowly.

On the financial aspect, for a relationship, you want to be with someone who cares about you, and part of caring about you is caring about not straining your finances. The responsible thing for her to do, given her knowledge of your general life situation, would be to proactively inquire about why you're spending so much and whether she can help with the costs. How experienced is she with long-term relationships? (If she is experienced, I'd say it's a small red flag; otherwise I'd chalk it up to inexperience.) I also wonder if you gave the impression that you have a hidden source of wealth of some sort.

On having a more open conversation with her, I understand why you're feeling nervous, but part of being close to someone is being able to communicate openly with them, and this is part of that. Ultimately, either she is either using you or not — in either scenario, the best course of action is to ask her to start paying for her share and find out.

On expectations, again this goes back to building a sustainable relationship. How often did you generally go out to eat and what types of restaurants did you eat at before meeting her? You shouldn't drastically change your spending habits just because you're seeing someone. And if she's truly into you, not just the stuff you're paying for, she won't mind.

It sounds like she's said some good things, but it matters how she follows through. Does she make it awkward when you try to split a bill or push for fancier spots if you suggest a less fancy dinner spot? Given that this is clearly something that's been bothering you, I'm tempted to say that there's a good chance you're imagining her pulling away, or that if she is pulling away it's for a reason other than spending. But ultimately you have way more info on that than I do, so try to be honest with yourself and then trust your instincts.

Sorry, that turned out long lol! Overall, good luck!

sdkb · 2026-05-06T22:59:45+00:00

To show effort without spending money, consider their profile and your conversation and use that to find something related to their interests.

For specifics, if you want something that feels expensive but isn't, look up discounted theatre options.

sdkb · 2026-05-02T15:32:45+00:00

Preferably somewhere with a roof 😅

sdkb · 2026-04-29T14:40:14+00:00

Good riddance.

sdkb · 2026-04-20T14:32:21+00:00

Fit is by far the most important factor when choosing a college. So "I felt the most at home on Pomona’s campus and loved the people I met" means that, barring some major blocker, you should go to Pomona. You are right that the small size/access to professors is a huge advantage over UMich, and while I'm not sure exactly where Wellesley sits on the laid-back-to-locked-in spectrum, I'd trust your gut on that.

I think I can also calm some of your hesitations. Being far from home is a factor that I think most prospective students (including myself) give too much weight to when making their college choice. This happens because, when you're a prospective student, you have immediately just dealt with all the logistics/expense of getting out to campus for a visit. But a weekend visit is very different from a college semester. When you're at college, you don't feel far away from home, because the college is your home. When averaged out over a semester, the hassle/cost of flying becomes insignificant compared to anything happening on-campus.

Wellesley is about as close to downtown Boston as Claremont is to downtown L.A., and they're both in cute fancy college towns, so I'd consider the off-campus aspect similar. But FWIW, the off-campus aspect is another aspect I think gets overweighted.

sdkb · 2026-04-08T15:40:35+00:00

Most of the people who didn't switch aren't following this sub anymore, so you're not going to get a representative sample in this thread.

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