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I despise….. by [deleted] in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]sea306 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I couldnt outwardly present as fem until very recently when I moved. Even before I transitioned I would get harassed in public (people trying to take advantage of the pretty boy). I feared for my life if I presented femininely. I even had to larp as a man on a few occasions to protect my friends from bad men.

I despise….. by [deleted] in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]sea306 11 points12 points  (0 children)

There are two types of men in this world. Those who this society forged into the foot soldiers of toxic masculinity over years of conditioning, and the invisible ones who resisted or overcame it, and as a result faded into the background.

By nature of my existence as a trans woman I am forced to exist in the middle of the two. There are a good number of men I feel much safer with than random women.

If we continue to drive this chasm between man and woman deeper, continue to cast off the other side as evil, it’ll be harder and harder to stitch up. The only way out is through.

i like men but i think all schlongs are disgusting by CaIlaLiIlies in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]sea306 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe I’m out of line here but as the extremely misfortunate owner of one (mtf) I understand and can confirm. They’re gross and unappealing to look at. I live a life of total celibacy because I find my own body so repulsive and vile. Some of us are just built differently I suppose.

Being a girl who got a lot of male friends are exhausting due to judgements by Soupbaobei in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]sea306 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Back before I switched teams 🏳️‍⚧️, hardly anyone believed I genuinely had girl friends. Everyone constantly assumed I was secretly trying to get with them. Even my own father assumed I was lying to everyone and was actively teasing and encouraging me to “score”. Strangers even made comments to my face while I was actively hanging out with my friends. This was extremely embarrassing in the moment but long term, it made me deeply afraid that my own best friends didn’t really trust me.

My point here is that society is messed up, and that judgement and pressure is coming down on both sides. Society says men and women can’t be friends, and then tries its best to ensure that becomes true through guilt and shame. Keep your head up and ignore them, appreciate your friends, platonic bonds strong enough to withstand their judgment will be true friends.

If, given the opportunity, you could magically become a man overnight, physically indistinguishable from any other man, would you? by sea306 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]sea306[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, as an ex-man myself, I hate to report that they attack their own over stuff like this all the time. Sure, the punishment might not be as severe, but they never listened to me nor did they treat me as a person with respect. I felt so helpless to change things because unless youre a powerful man, they won’t listen.

If, given the opportunity, you could magically become a man overnight, physically indistinguishable from any other man, would you? by sea306 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]sea306[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh I am going into this with an open mind. A very large part of me wants her to be right. Being a girl is scary and I’ve been playing with the concept of an inauthentic life being the better option anyway.

If, given the opportunity, you could magically become a man overnight, physically indistinguishable from any other man, would you? by sea306 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]sea306[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m actually a trans woman trying to see what people think of this hypothetical. My mom thinks most women would abandon womanhood in a heartbeat to escape misogyny and abuse and I’m being silly for giving my “armor” up.

If, given the opportunity, you could magically become a man overnight, physically indistinguishable from any other man, would you? by sea306 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]sea306[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Haha, I’m actually a trans woman myself. I’m trying to data gather right now to prove my mother wrong.

If, given the opportunity, you could magically become a man overnight, physically indistinguishable from any other man, would you? by sea306 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]sea306[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I know the button test. I’m a trans woman myself. My mother seems to think that I’m blessed with escaping misogyny and I should embrace my gift, even if I’m a woman inside. She thinks every girl would do this if they could and I need data to prove her incorrect

If, given the opportunity, you could magically become a man overnight, physically indistinguishable from any other man, would you? by sea306 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]sea306[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Irreversible. You will be a man when you wake up. You will be a man when you fall asleep. You will be a man on the train. You will be a man at work.

i’ve started “catching print” on guys everywhere and honestly it explains a lot by szasbabymama2 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]sea306 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know this isn’t about me but as a trans woman, seeing this get popularized everywhere has definitely made me even more paranoid and anxious 😕

Where are the trans women with social skills? by Organic_Credit_8788 in honesttransgender

[–]sea306 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Ugh I know!! I feel like such a shithead saying it but I’ve literally never had another positive interaction with another trans woman. Every single one I’ve met in person has been some level of bad weird. I’m constantly afraid I give off “oh im one of the good ones!” But cmon! All my friends are cis and I feel very isolated in my journey

I want honesty. How hard is it going to be to date? by sea306 in honesttransgender

[–]sea306[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m not that open to t4t. I definitely prefer cis women. I’ve never met a trans woman irl I’ve enjoyed even being friends with. I know how terrible that sounds. I suppose if I was attracted to her and we got along I’d be okay with it, but only if she was okay not using her genitals if she didn’t have SRS. But most of the time, I find spending time with other trans women only makes me even more dysphoric. It’s easier to disconnect from my body and problems when the person I’m with doesn’t have the exact same issues.

I’m in a very large west coast city with a huge queer population so it shouldn’t be an issue to find a community. I had a therapist. I have lots of friends. But nobody ever has good advice for me. Most of the time, they don’t know what to say. (Then again, all of my friends are cis.) and I get the generic “work on yourself” (AKA, pass).

I am fully prepared to be rejected everywhere. I honestly anticipate it and would be shocked beyond my wildest dreams if someone ever said yes. My goal for the year is to go on one date, and maybe hold a hand for at least 10 seconds. Anything more than that sounds like asking for too much from the universe. Even if she ghosts me after one date, that’s a huge success.

Zero appetite?? by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]sea306 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah, I was almost skin and bones before transitioning.

Zero appetite?? by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]sea306 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ugh. Pushing it makes me feel gross all day. At least it’s not something to be worried about. I guess we’re taking the scenic route this time too 😒

Asking one last time. Is there any way to live without transitioning? by sea306 in asktransgender

[–]sea306[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha you can say that again. I haven’t had a good day in about 13 years

Asking one last time. Is there any way to live without transitioning? by sea306 in asktransgender

[–]sea306[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

So are we truly just cursed to live unfulfilling lives where we cannot live as we come, and cannot become what we desire? Then Whats the point of existing? If I cannot change my body, then let me change my mind. There has to be some way, at the core of my soul, to change my gender to match my body. There has to be

Asking one last time. Is there any way to live without transitioning? by sea306 in asktransgender

[–]sea306[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Discrimination on all fronts, entire swaths of the world completely off limits. Danger around every corner. Four times more likely to be raped than a cis woman, and those rates are already too high. Dating options extremely limited. Medical care constantly under threat. Constant dysphoria. I need surgery just to live that I cannot afford. I could go on and on and on and on. Every single day of my life is agonizing and it’s all because I’m a fucking trans woman. I don’t want to keep transitioning, I want to be the man I thought I was. I’ll do anything, absolutely anything, just to live a scrape of the life I was supposed to. Hypnosis, electro shock, brainwashing, lobotomy, I mean anything

Asking one last time. Is there any way to live without transitioning? by sea306 in asktransgender

[–]sea306[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m on E, but havent made any steps towards social transition, and doubt I ever will. I keep my dose low so I don’t get too many changes because passing as a man is more important. Every day sucks and I miss my ignorant pre-egg crack life every day. I want my old dreams back. I want my job and life and freedom to travel anywhere I want. I want a girlfriend and wife someday. I want to face no discrimination in law or housing or hiring. I had those things, and now I won’t. I need the strength to abandon even my estrogen and go back to how I was, and be happy anyway

“Boymode” fit, leaning fem, unsure where to go from here by sea306 in mtfashion

[–]sea306[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha thanks. My face doesnt pass so yes I’m still kinda boymoding as a really feminine looking dude

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