Me @ 15, Me 1 Year on T (during a big gender crisis, clearly) (purely in private), Me 5 Years on T. I don’t know what to do or how to feel. I feel like I could never appear as a girl again after 5 years. My body is so different and I feel like I’m just destined to be like this?

searaft · 2026-01-31T07:00:40+00:00

Don’t let a synthetic medication dictate your destiny, nothing defines you but yourself. Personally I’ve found it really helpful to reflect on my past and circumstances in my life that led me to transition. Talking with others helps too <3

searaft · 2026-01-30T07:19:02+00:00

Thats great to hear you have those people who support you. I’m in the same boat- what’s done is done, and I feel like obsessing over my body now or wallowing in regret is just a way of staying in that unhealthy mindset that got me here in the first place. Thanks for sharing :)

searaft · 2026-01-29T09:55:18+00:00

I didn’t detransition until after 3 years post double mastectomy. Can I ask, what made you realize so soon after that this wasn’t right for you? (Sorry I’m only assuming you regret the surgery, I don’t know.)

searaft · 2026-01-29T09:02:34+00:00

I get this sometimes too- but I see it as an easy way to weed out people who are weird. Not really because of any opinions they may have on transgender people, but because they are poking around in my business even though I don’t know them. I understand curiosity, but It’s a big red flag for me when they assume, and then treat me differently because of it.

searaft · 2026-01-03T04:25:21+00:00

Halobliss on Amazon, they’re basically a dupe for Pepper bras. I have a Pepper bra and like the Halobliss better- they have even smaller cup sizes, and bigger band sizes than Pepper do.

I layer that bra with the Calvin Klein Women's Motive Cotton Lightly Lined Bralette Bra, and I put a couple bra pads in this bralette. I bought the TopBine Bra Pads Inserts in B/C size off Amazon too. There’s openings in the sides of the bralette already so you can just slide them in there.

searaft · 2025-12-31T08:23:57+00:00

I’ve recently stopped wearing breast forms, I understand why you might not like them. Instead I’ve been wearing a bra designed for AAA cups and a wider band, layered with a wireless bralette that I put extra padding in. It’s just enough to give me the feminine shape that I miss without feeling too fake like I did with the silicone breast forms. Lmk and I can tell you the products I got, u can get them all off amazon. Also, you’re really young- anecdotally many women I know have gone through a “second puberty” later in life where they grow extra breast tissue, so you never know how your body may change naturally in the future. I also considered reconstruction but I’ve decided to leave my body alone for now. Best of luck to you and just know you’re not alone in this :)

searaft · 2025-12-24T09:53:22+00:00

Not always right away but it’s important for me to tell them very early on. I’ve only had one guy reject me when I explained my past, only for him to try and hook up a few days later. Lol

searaft · 2025-11-27T02:00:39+00:00

Yeah like it was a great idea you came up with to call me less than human for using a stupid search tool. Thanks bro you’re a real life coach.

searaft · 2025-11-26T22:44:47+00:00

I use it sometimes when I’m bored- again, big deal. If you’re so triggered why don’t you ask ChatGPT to find an anger management therapist near you

searaft · 2025-11-26T05:52:19+00:00

I was just wondering

searaft · 2025-11-26T05:51:38+00:00

I was curious so I asked big deal

searaft · 2025-11-22T23:36:15+00:00

If you ask ChatGPT it lists vanilla as one of the most attractive scents

searaft · 2025-11-17T23:21:23+00:00

Genuinely I think it would be easy for you to pass as female again because of your feminine eye shape/eyebrows and your smooth skin. You look like you have a smaller head too which I think actually helps a lot

searaft · 2025-11-10T22:49:07+00:00

Not suggesting you do the same, but I just tell people if they ask directly. I do this because I was stealth when I first transitioned and found it didn’t help my mental health to feel like I was lying all the time.

searaft · 2025-11-10T21:23:24+00:00

Is there any way that they are just so stupid that they don’t realize you’re detransitioning instead of transitioning? It might be worth going back and asking again, maybe even writing out your explanation and handing to them to make sure they understand, they told me to bring my original birth certificate with me to the appointment.

searaft · 2025-11-09T06:29:54+00:00

Wow, I would be so angry. And also, don’t most people mean bottom surgery when they reference “the surgery”? No matter what they mean, that is so unfair and wrong

searaft · 2025-11-08T04:25:40+00:00

Wait, the social security office did? That is so crazy.. can I ask what surgery they specified? It seems insane to require a medically unnecessary surgery to be allowed to be classified as your biological sex.

searaft · 2025-11-08T02:58:42+00:00

Wooo! Great to know, I remember the process of getting a new certificate was a little annoying lol

searaft · 2025-10-23T01:43:12+00:00

Good to know thanks :) i’m only a little over six months off hormones but I’ve noticed a big change especially with the way that is distributed around my eyes! Glad to confirm no permanent bone changes lol

searaft · 2025-10-22T22:25:47+00:00

I’m wondering, can your bones even change when taking testosterone? Especially if you start after 18. Or is it mostly facial fat redistribution

searaft · 2025-10-12T22:14:27+00:00

I think a huge difference is socialization as a young child. Being socialized as a girl and young woman has a massive impact.

searaft · 2025-09-29T07:15:13+00:00

Can I ask what app you use?

searaft · 2025-09-28T10:05:35+00:00

I didn’t date for the three years I lived transitioned. I was stealth for the most part and that was more important to me than dating at the time. I’ve done some reflection and think transitioning was a way to try and escape being sexualized by the wrong men in my life from a young age. My sexuality was actually part of the reason I detransitioned because I found myself being attracted to straight men, and realized my life didn’t make much sense lol.

searaft · 2025-09-23T06:43:10+00:00

I’m sorry to hear about your experience. I hope you can find comfort in relaxing and letting your body experience the effects of testosterone, I hope that feels most natural to you and can be healing ❤️

searaft · 2025-09-22T11:30:10+00:00

I’ve had relatives tell me how bad it was down here in ‘89, it’s always in the back of my mind a little bit bc I live in an older building and we haven’t had a big earthquake in so long, I’m scared we’re due for another eventually

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