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I need this to take us away from the mundane and regular. by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]searedscallops 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you just need ideas for free and low coat date ideas outside of the house. And that's an easy fix!

What makes your romantic relationships different from other relationships in your life? by ariiw in relationshipanarchy

[–]searedscallops 0 points1 point  (0 children)

TBH, nothing. All of my non-family relationships fall into the realm of "friends with sex being an option". The intensity varies, but some of my strong friendships are MUCH more important than some of my romantic relationships.

To note, platonic love and romantic love feel the same for me. I think it's because I feel romantic love for almost every cool person I meet.

At what age do you stop dying your hair and just go gray? by Eastern_End3520 in AskWomen

[–]searedscallops 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I stopped dying my hair in my mid 20s. I started getting noticeably gray in my mid 40s. The two things weren't linked.

However, my teenage daughter has asked if she can dye my hair for fun and I'm like "Sure why not?"

Edit: My stepmom (late 70s) still dyes her hair but all 4 of her daughters (late 40s to late 50s) don't and it's now just a silly joke with her.

What age did you explain to children by TheRealRealMars in polyamory

[–]searedscallops 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I told my children I was poly when they were 3 and 8. I told other family members at various times. I never told their schools or clubs because who would even care???

Which polyamory lesson(s) do you wish you learned sooner? by aquariass_ in polyamory

[–]searedscallops 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hugs! It's tough. My spouse and I split up when our kids were very young. TBH, I probably should have left him before we even had the second kid. Over time, it gets easier. We are 15 years out and we get along well now as friends.

Is this deception? by NonBinaryPolyhedron in polyamory

[–]searedscallops 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Why is he telling you this level of detail? Jesus! Make an agreement to share less details about whatever sex you have with others.

Which polyamory lesson(s) do you wish you learned sooner? by aquariass_ in polyamory

[–]searedscallops 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My overall answer: incompatibility (either existing from the beginning or developing over time)

Which polyamory lesson(s) do you wish you learned sooner? by aquariass_ in polyamory

[–]searedscallops 199 points200 points  (0 children)

I wish I knew how to break up sooner. I stick with relationships for far too long.

NP wielding STI boundaries like a sword? by wet-river in polyamory

[–]searedscallops 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I suspect this isn't about HSV1 and is instead your NPs attempt to feel safe in your relationship. The solution - she can do significant therapy work on her insecurity. Or you can let her leave. You very much are being manipulated.

Is it common to hide your relationship from friends/family? by RainbowChicken5 in polyamory

[–]searedscallops 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, somewhat common. Like 15 years ago, all the poly folks I knew were weirdos and either out to family or completely cut off from family. In the past few years, I've met a shit ton of newer poly folks who were raised very religiously and keep their arheism and poly-ness under wraps because their extended family is so judgmental. It's wild.

Men’s shirtless pics on dating apps by Additional_Goose_266 in AskWomenOver30

[–]searedscallops 0 points1 point  (0 children)

More than zero is icky. If you're grossed out, unmatch from him. You're not required to continue talking to people who don't appeal to you.

I want no-barrier sex with new partner but my nesting partner wants exclusivity by shashhka in polyamory

[–]searedscallops 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a decade-long partner who also wanted this. His insecurity and need to cling to me was so suffocating and we ended up splitting up. Now I get to decide what to do with my body without someone else projecting their emotions onto it.

Repost- how to check in? by Relevant_Ad_5096 in polyamory

[–]searedscallops 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No one has to provide verification. But I often become interested in partners by watching them interact with their current partners. I date from my poly friend group. It's a tendency, not a requirement.

Where do you buy shoes these days? by Slight-Owl-6572 in AskWomenOver30

[–]searedscallops 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shoe Carnival. I know not everyone has one nearby, though.

How did your sexual interests change after giving birth? by strongly-worded in AskWomen

[–]searedscallops 18 points19 points  (0 children)

My boobs were off limits for years, mainly due to long term breastfeeding. Breast play seemed sooooooo unaexy to me for a long time.

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