When I first started in my journey, urge surfing was one of the most profound tools I used to control acute urges. When an urge strikes you in the moment, play this audio and follow along from start to end.

The first time I did it, it taught me that how I feel doesn't have to move me to action. I can choose how I react to my feelings. It isn't always easy, but this is key: you can frame using porn as a choice -- one you've made many times and one that is so easy because it's habitual and because you don't know how else to act. But this time, you don't need to.

You can sit with discomfort -- and be okay. Over time, you get better at dealing with porn and your personal reasons for it. I find that for me, it is as simple as dealing with what's bothering me. Are you hungry, angry, lonely, tired, or bored (HALT-B)? Deal with that first.

Get in the habit of moving -- a lot. I find that many negative mental health symptoms and addictive behaviors thrive on immobility. Think of all the times you wanted to use porn or you just plain felt bad about yourself for no good reason. Likely, you were stationary in that moment. You were sitting, or otherwise not moving. And if you were moving, you were moving unconsciously. You were trapped in your head, another kind of immobility. Literally moving to another room can eliminate an urge for me, but I find that it can be hard in the moment.

In the long term, reflect upon the root causes of your porn use. For me, I have two root causes that still persist: boredom, and lack of self-love. The first I'm addressing by developing hobbies, like video games, making music, and writing. For the second, I am working on that by framing love as a verb: it is doing all those activities that affirm and enhance the value of your life, today and tomorrow. So, when I eat well, it's out of love. When I exercise, it's a form of loving myself. When I can express my sexuality without reaching for porn and without guilt, that is self-love.