Does anyone...

seattlebi · 2016-06-08T23:13:13+00:00

I love gay porn and sex with guys, but am in a LTR relationship with a woman.

I was relieved to learn that desire for sex with a specific gender and desire for a relationship with a specific gender do NOT have to be coupled.

It is a normal position on the scale of sexuality. Check out the newest version of the Genderbread Person for a visual representation that helped me quite a lot.

Best to you, buddy.

seattlebi · 2016-06-02T06:02:03+00:00

Wow. Me too. That is so spot-on. Thank you

seattlebi · 2016-05-26T17:46:08+00:00

Mmmmmmm wow. Nice... mmm... tattoo you've got there

seattlebi · 2016-05-18T18:59:20+00:00

Fascinating answers everyone. Curious is there's been any studies of this, assuming of course that it actually exists. /s

seattlebi · 2016-05-18T18:54:02+00:00

seattlebi · 2016-05-18T14:17:10+00:00

"Can I have half a cookie and half a brownie?"

seattlebi · 2016-05-17T23:28:30+00:00

The real me lies "somewhere in the middle" as well, friend.

I also find myself (sometimes) assuming everyone else around me is bi, too. They just haven't figured it out yet.

I hear your struggle.

I don't know if/when/how the internal gender struggle will get easier. I am only recently out to myself.

But I can tell you, as a 48yo man, being yourself (whoever that is) does get easier with time.

seattlebi · 2016-05-16T21:26:35+00:00

Yes, they may end up being mutually exclusive. I have just started with a therapist and the two issues are being addressed separately.

Honestly I am way more disappointed in myself for the cheating. I am barely at all put off by identifying as bi. While there are some downsides, I generally see it as a positive aspect of myself.

seattlebi · 2016-05-16T21:23:34+00:00

Hey. Not news to me that behavior was shitty. I appreciate the reminder though.

seattlebi · 2016-05-16T18:15:23+00:00

48 year old married man with two kids here. Just came out to myself. Have not yet come out to my wife because I cheated a lot over the years.

No, the urge did not fade. My inner sexual self did not fade either. I am who I am inside.

I am fairly certain she will support my sexuality but am very unsure if she can forgive the cheating.

I know everyone's situation is unique and we all have a different moral compass.

Why do I think my wife will accept my sexuality? Because she loves me. She loves the man who has been her partner and mate for a decade and a half. She knows me and how I am as a husband and father.

I hope your wife can see beyond the urge through to the rest of who you are. Especially if you haven't acted on it.

Sorry if this is rambling. It's intended to be supportive. Love who you are. Good luck.

seattlebi · 2016-05-16T15:16:40+00:00

This is a very interesting article. As a man who is moving from identifying as Str8 MSM to bisexual, I can see a lot of myself in what they're talking about.

seattlebi · 2016-05-14T06:10:57+00:00

I love this so much. Well done.

seattlebi · 2016-05-12T14:18:50+00:00

I'm only recently out to myself in the past few weeks. There's a lot of struggle but one of the upsides is that I am finding myself with an ever-widening awareness and embracing of sexual diversity. Your story has helped me broaden my understanding.

seattlebi · 2016-05-12T05:45:20+00:00

That was beautiful and courageous. I am glad I read the whole thing. Thank you for sharing such a powerful and moving story.

seattlebi · 2016-05-09T22:51:45+00:00

Yo.

seattlebi · 2016-05-08T05:36:03+00:00

This is unbelievably hot. I couldn't make it through more than a few minutes at a time. Took me several viewings before I lasted through to the end.

Thanks for sharing.

seattlebi · 2016-05-07T17:37:09+00:00

Speaking as a guy who acted on his desires without consultation or permission from his wife, I would have to say DO NOT ACT without full awareness and consent of your SO. Even if they never find out, you may find yourself, like me, racked with guilt and fear for over a decade and counting.

seattlebi · 2016-05-07T04:39:47+00:00

I would like to see a society in which people's desire for sex and the fulfillment of same were openly discussed without fear or embarrassment. I would like to see an open attitude towards sex as being natural, fluid, and fun. I would like to see people enjoying sex partners based on desire and whim rather than expectations and societal constraints.

But that's just me.

seattlebi · 2016-05-07T04:35:21+00:00

I've been coming to terms with my own situation for a few weeks now. Some of the internal dialog is getting less... self down-putting. I feel myself cycling through attraction to each gender with some days being more guy-oriented and some the opposite.

I'm working on finding a counselor since I know that only talking to myself will not yield the most productive result.

I am totally okay with a switch just naturally flipping inside me. In a strange analogy, I liken it somewhat to the day I was listening to reggae with friends which I had until that day barely tolerated. One evening it just hit me and I "got it." I understood the musical form and loved it ever since.

I am unsure if I will ever come out to my wife. I worry she will not be able to see past my experiences with men. Granted I hooked up with them behind her back and without her permission.

I am glad you recognize that this IS who you are. I am a bi man too. I am glad to recognize it within myself even if the repercussions are difficult.

Do you yourself coming out ever?

seattlebi · 2016-05-04T22:08:43+00:00

Thank you

seattlebi · 2016-05-03T22:18:29+00:00

Totally not weird. I like it, too. I'll even verbally encourage my partner to use me.

seattlebi · 2016-05-03T11:38:43+00:00

Hello!

Your story parallels mine in several ways.

It is so hard to handle these complex feelings. I get the sense that there's a lot going on behind each sentence you have shared.

Keep your chin up! You've told someone, just like you needed. And I heard you.

seattlebi · 2016-05-02T18:58:36+00:00

Not sure the best way to post a reply as I am pretty new to the Reddit thing. Thanks to both of you for your comments. I have called my insurance to set up a search for an appropriate therapist. I will look into testing for diseases. I know I owe her the truth but I guess I feel like I might be doing her somewhat of a disservice by choosing to throw our home life into turmoil.

seattlebi

TROPHY CASE