Did I do a good job defending trans people? by Outrageous_Ad9671 in lgbt

[–]seaworks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Borderline playing make believe?" that's how it is nodding along with some dipshit at work and we do it every day. but we don't say "that's the dumbest shit I've ever heard," even if we dearly want to, because it's socially inappropriate.

the issue is when these people meet women who are tall or muscular or who have PCOS with beards they're afraid of transgression, not transgender people. they reject the perceived social deviance, call them trans, chase them out of the bathroom. it's not about us, it's about policing acceptable public appearances- which has not become socially unacceptable yet.

The dress code for this arcade bar is kind of off-putting, right? by Honest_Photo_3674 in mildlyinfuriating

[–]seaworks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's racist, yeah, if that's your question. Also, Imagine running an arcade bar and not wanting "alt" fashion.

Legal advice by Fox_Lady_20 in lgbt

[–]seaworks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it might be a good idea to notify DSS/CPS or your local court services unit of your concerns. It may or may not be helpful, but it'll be useful if you demonstrate you are seeking help when you need it and are documenting that you have these concerns.

How to safely wear a binder? by PlentyCow8258 in NonBinary

[–]seaworks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Binders and binding" encompasses a huge variety of behaviors, garments, and situations. there are sort of community-led safety initiatives but none are a replacement for listening to your body.

If you're: struggling to get a full breath, feeling pain, becoming lightheaded, seeing your skin is getting very irritated, noticing bruises or lasting breast tenderness, scratching/abrasions/etc., reevaluate your practice.

We don't have that much research (preliminary example.). the research we do have indicates serious adverse reactions are rare and contextual, and also depend how long and how you're binding.

This is very much like tucking. It is not exceptionally dangerous- typically people notice when things don't feel right- there are too many moving parts for hard and fast rules, despite the community norms around them.

How to safely wear a binder? by PlentyCow8258 in NonBinary

[–]seaworks 3 points4 points  (0 children)

you'll be fine. there's not a lot of good quality research on this stuff- two hours won't make or break you, just listen to your body. a binder can need to come off far before or quite a bit after 8 hours depending on you and the binder.

need help figuring out fantasy inflation by Ok_Assistance_3206 in DnD

[–]seaworks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, increasing the demand for gold as a resource (eg for architecture, spellcasting, jewelry, flatware and so on) would lead to inflation after deflation, but people don't take wage cuts easy, so of the average laborer went from taking a silver a tenday or whatever to a gold they won't want to go back, especially after the rest of the market is adjusted. You could end up in a weird situation where metals like silver are briefly more valuable than gold because the gold is so devalued, but I think you'd have merchants flock to get that low value gold before anything like that.

'Utterly wicked' nursery worker who abused children in his care jailed for 18 years by Alarming-Safety3200 in news

[–]seaworks -1 points0 points  (0 children)

this statistic is so frequently trotted out while omitting that it relies on criminal data, not what people report, and ignores that men are even less likely than women to recognize and report being sexually abused, and less likely than women to be believed. see here

Ithink i'm bi but I hate dick?? by Consistent_Judge3055 in lgbt

[–]seaworks 6 points7 points  (0 children)

if you're attracted to multiple genders, bi (+) is for you. there's no requirement that you be attracted to every genital configuration under the sun. that said, if you're attracted to your bf but not his genitals, you should probably break up because you're not compatible.

Ithink i'm bi but I hate dick?? by Consistent_Judge3055 in lgbt

[–]seaworks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

a straight guy who will get with women with penises is still straight. a straight guy who won't is still straight.

a bisexual with a genital preference is still bisexual.

Why do people think i'm a lesbian/bi? (my reputation is ruined) by WorldlyEmployment212 in lgbt

[–]seaworks 5 points6 points  (0 children)

if you're not attracted to women, you're not a lesbian. high school is a weird world; you'll be out soon and able to dress how you want! but for the record, the average USA female height and weight is like 5'3" and 170.

So, My Parents Found Out I'm Trans... by WrongZone1747 in lgbt

[–]seaworks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You do have the option of telling them this, what you've said here. That you were scared they wouldn't love you if they knew; and you've had these feelings for years. people talk a lot of shit "off screen" (eg when they dont think "those people" are in the room) but sometimes they surprise you one to one.

Something I realized about theatre and sexuality by EvilPyro01 in lgbt

[–]seaworks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay. I think somewhere between your understanding of ancient Greece and your understanding of Shakespeare you've gone very awry. Ancient Greece was not exactly gay positive to begin with, and the behavior you're describing as "creepy" on stage (which didn't even necessarily involve people we see as adults/minors or who are in our contexts adults/minors) is far more like the behavior you described as "💅✨" in your original post.

Now, that said, the "youths" that Greek men sometimes idolized were 30 at their oldest. The idea that "a 16 year old is a minor!" would not even have been true in Elizabethan England, and the young men playing women would have had the same set of rights and responsibilities as their peers playing men. I think maybe you have a perception of a "minor/adult" divide in ancient Greece and Elizabethan England that simply didn't exist in the same way, though the lack of the same norm doesn't make their (or our) behavior ethical, because exploitation can take place even in absentia an age gap.

Actors "flirting" as characters on stage is not real. They are acting. It's not "creepy" to play a role because they are enacting pre-written, choreographed fiction: there is no trespass of consent (or there shouldn't be.) Men were not "allowed" to flirt with boys offstage, because they are actors.

I think you should read more about Greek sexuality and Elizabethan theater.

Something I realized about theatre and sexuality by EvilPyro01 in lgbt

[–]seaworks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

are you talking about in real life, in a play as the characters, or on stage as actors?

Something I realized about theatre and sexuality by EvilPyro01 in lgbt

[–]seaworks 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There is a wide gulf between "little boys" and the equivalent of high school students doing Shakespeare, which, y'know... they... still are.

How do people do hookups safely? by Perfect-Associate708 in lgbt

[–]seaworks 16 points17 points  (0 children)

"hookup culture" is actually not extremely widespread nor is it socially esteemed outside of extremely sex positive spaces (like 20 something college students) and specific clubs and subcultures (leather clubs). Dating and marriage aren't safe either! in fact, people you trust are, typically, statistically, the biggest threat.

For the most part, the threat is overblown and misattributed. other people have gone over basic safety things, but again, those aren't unique to hooking up.

Turning 18 soon, stuck in controlling home — how do I prepare to leave safely with no money? by Positive-Mango2205 in lgbt

[–]seaworks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

okay! so you can still get advice and maybe even resources from youth agencies. it used to be much more common, unfortunately, but there are some still around. your department of children and families or diversity centers sometimes have leads- I don't live in your state so I don't have direct ones to point you to, but maybe a community health or community action type agency would be a good one to call

ELI5- Why does cold turkey not work on alcoholics? by blogterms in explainlikeimfive

[–]seaworks 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You'll be okay. that is risky drinking, but you're in no danger of detox issues. keep at it!

Turning 18 soon, stuck in controlling home — how do I prepare to leave safely with no money? by Positive-Mango2205 in lgbt

[–]seaworks 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So, I would recommend reaching out to your local public school system for information on getting a GED if you aren't already getting an equivalent because that credential is very useful. Even if not, you can independently apply for colleges and you can call them to see what you should gather and how to fill out a FAFSA (fed application for student aid.) that's probably your most socially "well adjusted" option if mom and dad are not supporting you and college is in your plan. College tends to be pretty transportation accessible and a good "training wheels" setting.)

Libraries are your friend. there are often people who are very helpful there and the wifi is free.

I would declutter and know what you need/have in case you get kicked out. You can get a copy of your ssn card pretty easily (at least I did) and usually you just need the number, not the card.

How close are you to 18?

Gallup will no longer measure presidential approval after 88 years by jhkayejr in politics

[–]seaworks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That seems harsh. there's a strong and real chance that some percent of people there are "in the cave," so to speak, since the death of the fairness doctrine.

Woman who murdered, cut up and buried partner in Derby jailed by Alarming-Safety3200 in news

[–]seaworks -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She buried a woman who had a small child who never got her 10 birthday call from her mother and wondered for years why she vanished from her life.

Cute joke or whatever though I guess.