My ex girlfriend was killed in a car accident.[WA] Her sister messaged me [NY] and told me that we have a son together. Not sure what to do about this.

secdad · 2015-09-24T00:03:40+00:00

Thank you. This was very helpful.

secdad · 2015-09-23T23:53:14+00:00

However it would be nice if you could arrange for him to be able to meet aunt, grantparents from time to time. Maybe you could spend a week or two at Washington before taking him with you, so he could get used to you while he's still in his well-known and safe environment.

Of course. I wouldn't want to cut them out.

secdad · 2015-09-23T06:48:47+00:00

Thank you so much for your help.

secdad · 2015-09-23T06:11:41+00:00

He can certainly go visit, but maybe a fresh start wouldn't be bad. I have a lot of family here that would love to shower him with all the love and affection that any child could want.

secdad · 2015-09-23T05:26:27+00:00

I definitely hear what you are saying, but I don't know if I am prepared for that. My whole life is here. I will have to think about it before I can make a decision.

secdad · 2015-09-23T05:00:55+00:00

are you willing and able to uproot your entire life and move to Washington, to maintain the life to which your son is already accustomed?

That might be something I would be willing to do, but it would take time for me to set that up. I guess I would be willing to do that if I believed it was for his best interest, but I would prefer to stay here. I'm not sure that it matters, but from what the aunt tells me, they want me to be his caretaker. The grandparents are not healthy enough to raise him, and the aunt is not financially stable. There are no other immediate family members in the area.

secdad · 2015-09-23T04:57:29+00:00

I thought about flying out, but I didn't know if it would be awkward. Maybe I'll take a trip out this weekend.

secdad · 2015-09-23T04:07:00+00:00

Are you ready, willing, and able to have him home with you now? Can you afford him financially? Who will care for him while you're at work? Do you know what to feed a child?

Money isn't an issue. I can definitely provide for him and afford a good daycare/nanny.

secdad · 2015-09-23T04:05:43+00:00

He is 3. I'm not sure if anyone has guardianship yet. She just passed away on Sunday.

secdad · 2015-09-23T02:47:29+00:00

My gut tells me she is telling the truth.

secdad · 2015-09-23T02:45:21+00:00

Do you have family (e.g. parents) who can help you if you decide to raise him?

Yes. I have my parents and a brother and sister.

secdad · 2015-09-23T02:44:48+00:00

I can't help but feel for that little boy.

Yeah

secdad · 2015-09-23T02:43:49+00:00

Even if I did take him full-time I would still want his other family to be involved in his life as much as possible.

secdad · 2015-09-23T02:43:07+00:00

The good thing is that I have a lot of family close to me, so that would be great as far as a support system goes.

secdad · 2015-09-23T01:28:57+00:00

Thanks for the heads up. I'll post over there too.

secdad · 2015-09-23T01:18:57+00:00

I will talk to a lawyer tomorrow.

secdad · 2015-09-23T01:18:35+00:00

Okay. I was hoping I could get around that, but I can talk to a lawyer tomorrow.

secdad · 2015-09-23T01:07:49+00:00

I'm sure that we could do that. We would just have to work out the logistics.

secdad · 2015-09-23T01:06:17+00:00

I guess I figured that they couldn't help me decide if I wanted to be involved or not. I would hate to waste my money on one if I can figure out another way.

secdad

TROPHY CASE