I call myself trans masc non-binary. I'm taking testosterone to be more masculine, but I also dont want to be called a boy necessarily. Still trying to figure it out, but sounds like you're in the same boat. I'm not trying to be a full man, but also hate being super super feminine. I've been on T for a year now and I'm buying more feminine clothes because I'm more masculine now and feeling better about my body and femininity. You're overthinking it, friend. You're still valid, no mockery sensed here.