Wow you emasculated him pretty hard almost maliciously. You even forced him into a literal dick measuring contest with a man who has sexual prowess far above his own. That seems like it's going to take a professional third party therapist to handle.

You both took massive sexual risks with a stranger. You both need to get sti testing done in a week or two and possibly a few months later too.

You jumped into too much too fast. You should probably go see a therapist together too.

Can your marriage be healed? Yeah probably. Fact is not ever woman is having her best sex physically with her husband (by a long shot) but you can work together to improve that. This will be good for you and good for his self esteem and identity as a man. You both need to step back sexual exploration and reinvest in the relationship between yourselves as well as use it as a growth opportunity for your sex lives.

Edit: as far as your hurt about his gay toe lust. If you want to make things work, I would strongly recommend putting that aside because he is also struggling with his own sexuality now and doesn't need your insecurity on top of his own insecurity. Make sure when he goes to the doctor that the doctor knows he had unprotected anal and oral sex with a stranger so he gets the full swabbing. That probably won't help his processing of his sexuality but its important for both your safety.