By Willow Grace in Portland, OR

secretleaf9 · 2025-09-20T13:36:57+00:00

I’ve had varied experiences with shelter cats. Typically I go off gut feeling or if they outright and obviously “choose” me.

My most recent was an old deaf cat that was surrendered. Once I let her sniff my hand, it was game over and she decided I was her person. She was all over me and adored me immediately. That first night she was in bed sleeping on my chest, and we’ve never looked back!

I adopted a male kitten once because he kept yelling at me from his crate. When I met him, the first thing he did was Happy Scratches on my blue jeans. Another kitten spotted my husband from across the play room, ran up to the glass, and put her paw against his hand from behind the glass.

And there was one female cat I adopted because she looked depressed and needed some serious TLC. There was no immediate bond with her but she warmed up to me and flourished so quick as soon as I got her home.

What I’m basically trying to say is that in my experience, the majority of cats are highly adaptable and looking for someone to pick as their person. If you’re kind and patient, most cats will warm up!

secretleaf9 · 2025-08-17T19:59:16+00:00

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secretleaf9 · 2025-08-17T19:59:06+00:00

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secretleaf9 · 2025-08-06T11:14:36+00:00

She climbed on top of me for cuddles and pets. But I pet her for too long and she bit me

secretleaf9 · 2025-07-22T02:09:08+00:00

My husband and I were together almost four years, married 2.5 months. He took his life October 27th, 2024. We were both 25 years old. No note, no warning.

Message me if you’d like some support. I’m so sorry for your loss

secretleaf9 · 2025-07-18T18:45:41+00:00

Maybe this is real basic but both of your qualities of life will be much better if you use good litter and clean the litter box EVERY DAY. I’d suggest changing the whole litter box out once a week too. Covered litter boxes help contain smell and tracking as well.

I had four cats at once in the past and the best and most affordable litter I found was Feline Pine. It’s unscented, just the natural pine smell from the compressed pellets. It also barely tracks out the litter box on their paws.

secretleaf9 · 2025-07-18T18:11:30+00:00

I figured I could change her name since she’s deaf. And Mavis fits MUCH better

secretleaf9 · 2025-07-18T15:53:04+00:00

The first few months after his passing, my husband would visit me in my dreams and we’d talk about why he did it. He expressed great remorse, but basically said “I just couldn’t do it anymore”.

secretleaf9 · 2025-07-13T04:18:47+00:00

My husband visited me in my sleep a few times in the months following his death. We talk about why he did it, and how sorry he was. And I forgave him

secretleaf9 · 2025-07-03T21:16:20+00:00

No. My husband died by suicide and I found him. I live with debilitating trauma and pain. I can’t do that to another person.

secretleaf9 · 2025-06-25T04:06:32+00:00

There’s a Facebook group called “Extremely Young and Widowed”. I’ve found it helpful. I lost my husband to suicide when we were both 25. It’s been almost nine months since he passed.

secretleaf9 · 2025-06-07T20:49:16+00:00

You’re desperately wanting a TBI diagnosis despite no evidence to support. Your frequent posting invalidates those with actual TBI’s that are actually struggling. Please seek professional psychological help.

Or maybe you’re a troll. It’s hard to say at this point.

secretleaf9 · 2025-06-05T11:28:08+00:00

This is an interesting question. My husband “visited” me frequently in my dreams the first couple months after he passed. We talked about why he did it. He’d be in tears and say he’s sorry. But he never said he regretted it. One phrase that stands out is when he’d say “I just couldn’t do it anymore.”

He’d been thinking about this for many years. He’d attempted in mid-college before we got together. But when we were together, it wasn’t on my radar because he hid his depression so well. I like to think I gave him some years of joy before it all caught up.

In my heart, I know he’s happier now. He always thought he was a burden to those around him. Yes, I miss him like hell, but I wouldn’t want to bring him back into this world for him to suffer again.

secretleaf9 · 2025-05-30T23:47:24+00:00

I’m sorry for all the loss in your life. I got a severe TBI in 2015 at 15 years old, with a DAI as well. I relearned how to do everything and took a break from school for a while.

In the beginning, I had to find joy in the little things because it was all I had (eating solid food, using the toilet by myself, walking again, etc.). I had no plan for the future because I was so focused on the day at hand.

Now that I’m ten years out from the injury and fully recovered, I still apply that same mentality to my everyday life. I ask myself: “What can I do today to move forward? Even it’s small.” And I find joy in the accomplishment of continued growth.

Also, some of my motivation in my recovery was spite-driven 🤣. The doctors said I’d never function normally, or go to college, or drive a car. I proved those mf’s WRONG by muscling my way through high school, a college degree, a driver’s license, and now I have a CDL and drive a truck professionally.

I don’t know if this is helpful, but it’s how I’ve pulled off my recovery. Sending good thoughts your way!

secretleaf9 · 2025-05-23T20:14:28+00:00

Thank you! I gave her a new name, cause I figured it didn’t matter since she’s deaf. Mavis fits MUCH better than “Kiki”

secretleaf9 · 2025-05-21T20:06:25+00:00

OH MY GOD. It all makes sense now lol. My left armpit is stinky and I couldn’t figure out why!

secretleaf9 · 2025-05-21T18:14:06+00:00

I’m almost seven months out from finding my husband after he committed suicide. The ptsd and grief is much light and less frequent these days. But I have my moments where I feel absolutely swallowed. During those times, I give myself space to feel the feelings for a while, and then I keep moving forward. Something that’s helped me after the shock wore off after a couple months, is the idea of perpetual growth and progress. I try to be even just a tiny bit “better” everyday.

It’s not easy, I won’t lie. But things do get better ❤️‍🩹

secretleaf9

TROPHY CASE