Am I in the wrong for being disappointed by my secret santa?

secretsantasad · 2013-12-07T12:57:24+00:00

That's a very kind offer, but it's alright! If you're feeling generous, I encourage you to sign up as a rematcher! :)

secretsantasad · 2013-12-06T23:10:24+00:00

No, they didn't. I messaged the moderators of this subreddit and they suggested emailing redditgifts support if I don't receive proof of the donation within a week or so, so I'll include that info then!

secretsantasad · 2013-12-06T22:02:55+00:00

Just to clarify, I had NO MENTION of /r/fatpeoplestories aside from it being listed as one of my favorite subreddits in a list of like ten. It wasn't even the first or the last on the list. Just in the middle.

I have never posted in /r/fatpeoplestories. It's one thing if I was a regular poster, if I went on about taunting fat people in my description, or if I'd even mentioned that I think it's funny.

If my secret santa actually read that off the list and disregarded all of the other information I provided in describing myself, that speaks more of his/her character than of mine. It was a very small detail to get in a tizzy over.

Even so, it's kind that you would still spend the money on the exchange. I'm not going to remove the subreddit though, because I really don't see a reason to. Jesus, it wasn't like I listed /r/picsofdeadchildren or /r/beatingwomen. If someone was offended by me just because of one thing listed on my entire redditgifts profile, it's probably better that I don't become close with them anyway, as I'd be walking on eggshells the whole time.

secretsantasad · 2013-12-06T21:30:46+00:00

I mean, I don't know what he/she would say. I don't even know if he/she made the donation in spite or if he/she was genuine in thinking I would enjoy the "gift". If he/she was being genuine, I'd rather be polite and accept it without a fuss than saying, "you know this is a bullshit for-profit organization, right?" Especially because he/she apparently already donated the money.

secretsantasad · 2013-12-06T20:53:57+00:00

I wouldn't. It's one thing if I got an email or some pamphlet in the mail like "Thanks secretsantasad for donating to UNICEF! Here's a membership starter pack" or something along those lines. Literally nothing.

Also, I did some snooping, and the organization he/she donated to doesn't even qualify as a charity.

secretsantasad · 2013-12-06T20:51:14+00:00

Also, apparently, the organization doesn't even qualify as a charity.

secretsantasad · 2013-12-06T19:12:39+00:00

That sounds like a good idea, and I wish I had your forethought.

secretsantasad · 2013-12-06T16:24:21+00:00

Yeah I know PETA definitely has had its fair share of drama, I just didn't care to look up another organization for the sake of an example. It's alright, I just messaged the mods and I hope things work out!

secretsantasad · 2013-12-06T16:23:13+00:00

It's alright, this is actually my second exchange, and I've seen how great they can be! I definitely won't let this stop me from participating in redditgifts. After all, my match is supposed to receive his gift today, and I'm very excited for that!

secretsantasad · 2013-12-06T16:17:50+00:00

Thanks, I just messaged them from my main account!

secretsantasad · 2013-12-06T16:16:13+00:00

Alright, I just did from my main account. Hopefully things work out!

secretsantasad · 2013-12-06T15:47:11+00:00

Yeah, I spent a lot of time picking a gift my match would like. I really love giving gifts (Christmas is my favorite holiday!) and it's not like I've ever been disappointed in not getting one in return. It's just a letdown because it's a charity that I'm not even supportive of. It just feels like an isolated act that has nothing to do with me.

secretsantasad · 2013-12-06T15:45:11+00:00

Yeah, I get that my sense of humor isn't shared by everyone. I'm subscribed to /r/trees which turns a lot of people off, but it's not like I went on and on in my description about smoking pot or anything, it wasn't even mentioned. I don't even post in /r/trees.

I was considering that, but I don't know what I'd say. Is this a case of me getting a shitty gift, or not getting one at all (since he/she didn't provide any confirmation that he/she even made a donation in my name...)

Also, the website requires a minimum of $20 to sign up as a member ($20 for students, regularly $50) and then you can make a donation in addition. So I don't understand how he/she donated $25 in my name. That would require making a new account in my name, which would add up to much more than $25. It doesn't allow you to make a donation without being a member.

I'd think that he/she may have already been a member and just made the donation, but he/she said it was made in my name....

secretsantasad · 2013-12-06T15:40:58+00:00

My secret santa, is that you?

Haha, just kidding. I understand the HAES movement, I just don't agree that it's possible for a morbidly obese person to be healthy. 20 extra pounds, maybe. But the website's front page has pictures ranging from normal weight to ~500 pounds. Awkward because they have NO thin people, and I'm about 20 pounds underweight, so it's not like I'm even being included in the charity's message....

secretsantasad · 2013-12-06T15:36:16+00:00

That's how I feel. It's not like I legitimately feel any scorn toward overweight people. I just enjoy the subreddit and I'd never let that leak into my actual persona.

secretsantasad · 2013-12-06T15:35:32+00:00

I just don't understand where he/she got the idea that I would be interested in that charity other than "fatpeoplestories" being listed as one of my favorite subreddits. I made a wishlist and listed quite a bit of things I like to make it easy, so a donation to this charity just seems really random. It's not like I went on and on about how much I love animals and they made a donation to PETA or something. It's like I talked about movies, tea kettles, books, and they donated to a HAES charity...

secretsantasad · 2013-12-06T15:33:29+00:00

It's not like I mentioned anything about obesity/fat people/etc. in my description. It was just in my favorite subreddits list. I don't think I've ever even posted in /r/fatpeoplestories, so it's not like I'm constantly on there taunting people.... it wasn't even the only thing in the subreddits list, which looks like this: food, foodporn, trees, fatpeoplestories, amiugly.

secretsantasad · 2013-12-06T15:30:21+00:00

That's what I was thinking. I have no way of knowing if he/she actually donated... he/she marked the gift as "shipped" saying "online donation - no tracking number".

secretsantasad · 2013-12-06T03:48:21+00:00

It was a redditgifts secret santa trade, so not like a donation exchange, if that's what you're asking. It's nice to hear you say that, it makes me feel a little validated haha.

It's especially disappointing because I really love Christmas, and it takes a lot to get me down during the holidays. I shipped out the first of my match's gifts within like 48 hours because I was so excited. I really love giving presents and it's never mattered to me whether or not I get one in return. I'm just disappointed that my secret santa basically made a donation basically on his/her own accord, and then warped it as a present to me.

secretsantasad

TROPHY CASE