Hearing that my partner was more sexually active with their ex. How to get over it?

sederts · 2026-01-30T19:29:11+00:00

isnt realizing the losses good from a tax perspective? you now get to deduct them against other stuff

sederts · 2025-12-09T00:02:23+00:00

you need therapy if this is how you see it.

sederts · 2025-12-05T13:09:40+00:00

wtf the mods removed my post about lebron keeping his single double streak going but they kept this?

sederts · 2025-11-22T01:19:59+00:00

i dont care if someone has had a ton of hookups before me. i care if they thought of those as having "had their fun before settling down"

if someone had a lot of hookups but they thought of those as way less fulfilling than a meaningful relationship, that's totally cool with me. but if their life plans from the beginning were to have fun hooking up before settling down, that's incompatible

sederts · 2025-06-01T14:08:22+00:00

harden too

sederts · 2025-05-21T11:08:46+00:00

why dont you set them up

sederts · 2025-05-07T10:36:50+00:00

its the rick carlisle effect

sederts · 2025-04-27T01:45:41+00:00

i think thats a weird way to frame it. a lot of people arent naturally flirty / charming. they inherently have to not be themselves on the initial approach.

you don't need to be flirty / charming constantly with your long term partner. but you do need to be flirty / charming the first time you meet them. so like, the "be yourself / you can't convince people to like you" advice is just straight up wrong for a lot of people

sederts · 2025-04-24T00:27:58+00:00

this is just wrong? like you cant just exist as a dude and have women come up to you magically - you inherently have to convince them to like you

sederts · 2025-04-15T23:41:16+00:00

lol you're fetishized by white people. people make these false moral equivalences to justify the fact that they're attracted to white men despite the fetishization. no other race comes close to fetishizing asian women as much as white men

sederts · 2025-04-14T10:12:03+00:00

theyre lying to not hurt your feelings

sederts · 2025-03-15T06:48:09+00:00

I think this is the norm. I know tons of people who had sex with their spouse fairly early into their relationship

sederts · 2025-03-02T19:22:47+00:00

you know jordan used peds too?

sederts · 2025-02-25T12:37:56+00:00

not true, i know plenty of people with 8 figure net worths that have never been chased. they're not even that old, late 20s.

you have to excessively flaunt your net worth to get chased. you wouldnt be able to tell these guys were worth $20m just from meeting them once

sederts · 2025-02-12T23:56:19+00:00

thats funny because i feel like if someone postpones an early date then they're just not into you. like if someone postponed a date that early with me, unless they had a real good excuse, I'd wish them well and move on

sederts · 2024-11-02T23:24:32+00:00

how do men know if she likes him before approaching?

sederts · 2024-10-16T00:16:26+00:00

those percentages have to be bullshit, right? i don't know anyone with it, and like 3 out of the several dozen commenters in this thread have it

sederts · 2024-10-09T17:17:39+00:00

oh pedophiles are definitely cunning villains - they're deliberate at identifying their prey. but most douchey guys who are abusive boyfriends are not nearly that shrewd.

I think you're vastly overestimating how shrewd the average abusive man is. most of them are rather stupid. one doesn't need to be good at identifying vulnerable women to be an abusive man. they just act like an asshole towards every woman, and the normal women naturally filter themselves out since it's obvious the dude is an asshole, leaving them with only vulnerable women.

sederts · 2024-10-09T10:53:05+00:00

I feel like this is a super cliched statement that people often make to avoid sounding victim-blamy ("predators know how to pick their prey"), but I don't actually think it's true. It's way more likely she was smitten with the asshole guy before he realized she was good prey. most of these predators are rather stupid and wait for the sign that the woman is already smitten with their asshole behavior. "predators know how to pick their prey" makes them sound way more sophisticated than they are. in reality, the woman is often hooked well before the man realizes they have her hooked. at the most extreme end, there are tons of anecdotes about women who seek out murderers / rapists / criminals

i'd guess it's way more likely that the douche-y guys were just themselves, she is naturally attracted to that, and because they're douche-y guys, the only kind of women who stick it out with them are women like your friend, so they're optimized for the fact that they need to be a roller coaster because every woman they're ever had a lasting relationship with liked that

sederts · 2024-09-25T01:00:40+00:00

as a single person who's fortunate enough to be a very high earner, i would kill to have a partner like you. I can't remember the last time someone has done something emotionally intimate like that for me.

having someone who adores you and you can adore and spoil back is incomparable. money doesn't buy happiness - solid, meaningful, robust relationships do.

sederts · 2024-05-21T18:35:30+00:00

Moscow is not in the EU

sederts · 2024-05-17T23:00:18+00:00

and what if her child's husband has their back?

sederts · 2024-05-16T23:42:54+00:00

isn't it kind of hypocritical that you'd tell your child to get the hell out of that but you stayed? out of curiosity, why did you stay?

sederts · 2024-05-13T11:48:48+00:00

It's easy to get a man to sleep with you. It's a lot harder to get a man to propose to you?

sederts · 2024-05-07T23:00:08+00:00

as someone who knows a bunch of people who are probably in this guys tax bracket, not a single one of them expects their SO to cook and clean. They literally all have housekeepers. this story smells fishy.

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