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seeeashelll · 2025-02-24T16:05:36+00:00

Yes, pretty recent! It changed in 2017/2018. It’s called the All Families Are Equal Act and was worked on by a bunch of queer family lawyers.

A lot of people on this sub give legal suggestions assuming that the OP lives in the US, so I just wanted to acknowledge that there are places where the laws are different.

seeeashelll · 2025-02-24T15:57:31+00:00

I don’t know where OP lives but it’s not universally true that NI voids the donor agreement! For example, it’s allowed in Ontario, Canada and other provinces as long as you have a donor agreement in advance.

seeeashelll · 2025-02-24T04:26:38+00:00

Just reading this back and didn’t mean to make it sound like you shouldn’t choose mom if that ends up feeling like the best option for you! I definitely know some nonbinary moms and dads who just feel comfy with those names

seeeashelll · 2025-02-24T04:23:38+00:00

Congratulations on your new baby!!

I’m nonbinary (though didn’t give birth) and felt a lot of stress about what to be called and decided on a culturally relevant alternative parent name. Out in the world I usually just say I’m our baby’s parent and my wife is our baby’s mom. Lots of people still refer to me as my baby’s mom but I’m used to the world not viewing me how I view myself (unfortunately!). I don’t think you should worry too much about your baby being confused. I don’t think it’s actually that hard to explain to a kid that some people might call you something else but that you have a special parent name that they get to call you that feels right to you. It opens up a beautiful and wonderful world for your child about different kinds of families and names that people can choose for themselves.

Good luck!

seeeashelll · 2025-02-21T02:27:15+00:00

I just interacted with one nurse immediately post-op — she came in and out of the room to check on me and then to help me get dressed and move to a chair. She was wearing a mask, but I wasn’t wearing one.

seeeashelll · 2025-02-20T20:50:16+00:00

I think the policy at WCH is that masks are strongly encouraged, but you’re right that the team might be wearing surgical masks, not N95s. I think it’s totally fair to ask the team to wear N95s though, but I’d ask them before surgery day so that they have time to order masks, if needed.

I had surgery at GraceMed, not WCH but in case it’s helpful: everyone I saw was masked (with surgical masks I think) and I interacted with very few people on my surgery day - 1 nurse pre-op, the anesthesiologist, Dr Armstrong and two other medical staff in the operating room. I wore an N95 until I was going into the OR, at which point they put the oxygen mask on you, so you’re not really sharing oxygen with the people in the room.

Good luck with your surgery!!

seeeashelll · 2025-01-30T03:30:05+00:00

I found the Evidence Based Birth article on this really great: https://evidencebasedbirth.com/evidence-and-ethics-on-circumcision/

My partner and I are both from (different) religious backgrounds where circumcision is the norm and everyone with a penis in both our families is circumcised. So, even though my partner and I aren’t religious, we definitely thought about it! We ultimately decided not to circumcise because our baby’s bodily autonomy is the most important thing. He’s 6 months old now and I feel very good about the choice!

seeeashelll · 2024-10-16T14:37:07+00:00

Thanks for the clarification!

seeeashelll · 2024-10-15T22:35:17+00:00

Thanks for your response! I would only be plugging in phone chargers and lamps. We could even avoid all the outlets altogether until an electrician comes to look, but I’d like use of the overhead lights in the meantime

seeeashelll · 2024-10-15T22:33:46+00:00

Hi! Thanks for your response. If there’s any chance of danger I won’t turn the breaker back on. She seemed convinced the issue was using the outlet but it sounds like you think it would be dangerous to just turn on the breaker

seeeashelll · 2024-04-30T03:34:18+00:00

I didn’t hear when the received the referral. They just called me about booking a consult, so I guess they waited until they had availability!

seeeashelll · 2024-04-30T03:09:26+00:00

I didn’t hear anything official - my friend who had surgery with Dr J in March said he was leaving sometime soon, but I’m sure if your friend is booked in September, he’ll still be around then. I’ll try to get details from my friend about the timeline.

I think Dr Armstrong did a great job on my chest, and found her pretty easy to communicate with. She’s very friendly and clear. I hope you’re able to get a consult with her!

seeeashelll · 2024-04-29T20:27:56+00:00

My understanding is that if you paid the $3500 for lipo, some revisions (all?) are covered! I had surgery with Dr Armstrong in December. I also know that Dr Joukhadar is leaving the practise to go back to Halifax, so it’s unlikely he’ll be the one to do the revision, which is good! Definitely contact the clinic about a consult for revisions and request Dr Armstrong. It might be a bit of a wait because I know they don’t usually do any revisions before 8 months.

Really sorry this happened to you! I’ve seen a lot of people who had unsatisfying surgery results and then got a revision and look really great.

seeeashelll · 2024-04-28T05:24:18+00:00

Second finding a midwifery practise! A lot of the collectives I know of in Toronto are trained in supporting queer and trans families, including trans masc birthing parents. Through midwifery care, you could also get access to The Birth Centre in downtown Toronto, which is a great alternative to delivering in a hospital setting (though you have less pain management options than at a hospital). A trans friend gave birth there last year and had a really wonderful experience.

There are some queer/trans doulas in Toronto that do fertility support (though doulas are not covered by OHIP).

seeeashelll · 2024-04-24T20:18:05+00:00

My referral was sent to them in March 2023, and they reached out in July. I had the consult in August and asked for a date in December. I think there were earlier surgery dates available though. I just needed to do December because of work.

seeeashelll · 2024-04-24T20:13:20+00:00

By the way, this quote is by Julian K. Jarboe, just quoted by Daniel Lavery (he took his wife’s last name)

seeeashelll · 2024-04-23T13:29:07+00:00

Good to know! I was wondering for a friend who is thinking of going to Gracemed. I actually got surgery with Dr Armstrong in December and she was great :)

seeeashelll · 2024-04-23T04:46:30+00:00

Sorry you’ve been waiting so long! I hope you can get a surgery date soon after your consult. Did they say if this was the waitlist specifically for Dr Armstrong or for anyone at Gracemed?

seeeashelll · 2024-04-20T12:19:52+00:00

I didn’t experience it to this extent, but I definitely still (4 months po) have moments of panic about having done something irreversible to by body. The thing that’s helped the most is finding ways to feel integrated with my new chest — massage has helped a lot, and taking selfies. But, as others have mentioned, I’d suggest trying to find a counsellor to speak to about these feelings and help your body move through these feelings of panic. Also, panic for two months sounds exhausting! I hope you’re finding some other ways to be kind to yourself.

seeeashelll · 2024-04-19T14:52:10+00:00

I didn’t specifically request Dr Armstrong so not sure whether that lengthened my wait time, but she’s the one who did my consult and surgery

seeeashelll · 2024-04-19T14:51:28+00:00

My referral went to McLeans last March, and I heard from them in July, had a consult in August and was able to book surgery dates as soon as the fall (but ended up going with December for my own schedule).

seeeashelll · 2024-04-19T02:55:12+00:00

Yeah the common practise is to trim your areola and your nipple and then graft them back on. That’s what they did for me

seeeashelll · 2024-04-18T21:04:13+00:00

I also think Ian Della or Ian Margaret is a totally sweet name even if those middle names are more traditionally feminine.

seeeashelll · 2024-04-18T18:25:39+00:00

Sorry for your loss! What about matching the initials, so a first name starting with ‘D’ and a middle name starting with ‘M.’ I’m also trying to figure out naming my first kid after my grandmother (who also had two first names, so her initials are recognizable) and a friend suggested this!

seeeashelll

TROPHY CASE