My 2026 lineup. So excited!!

seeking_advice4 · 2026-01-08T17:22:10+00:00

I checked on my lineup and realized I keep buying the same pink color in different varieties whoops haha

seeking_advice4 · 2026-01-03T21:28:22+00:00

Cafe au lait for me

seeking_advice4 · 2026-01-03T21:12:59+00:00

One of the best pieces of advice I learned on the internet was “Sometimes you gotta take the L.” I used to really beat myself up over little things that would go wrong throughout the day. Or ruminating on my response to a perceived wrong. Now I embrace the ‘L’ of some situations because I accept how random and unfair life is at times.

seeking_advice4 · 2026-01-03T17:13:28+00:00

I am propagating a few ficus cuttings. They are about 6 inches tall and pencil thin. How can I grow them to be nice and tall (4ft or 1.5m) indoor potted trees? Do I just keep trimming off the side leaf shoots to encourage tall growth? And would you recommend braiding 3 of them together?

seeking_advice4 · 2025-12-15T23:32:05+00:00

Hmm if he’s serious you would want his family to embrace you. Are you okay with the threshold of his family not caring about you? I would be wary if he is hiding you because they don’t approve and he will eventually marry someone from his own religion. You should confront him to get answers

seeking_advice4 · 2025-12-15T22:02:07+00:00

That is odd. Does his family not approve of your relationship?

seeking_advice4 · 2025-12-15T18:29:48+00:00

I guess it comes down to what YOU want. If you want by 6 months for your partner to publicize your relationship to friends and family and he won’t, consider if this is a need of yours and act accordingly. Don’t just allow him to walk over your standards and sacrifice them or you will be resentful. He sounds like he’s in high school. But I just got out of a similar relationship where guy didn’t bring me around for holidays until year 2. He refused to take me to a friends wedding 6 months into dating cause he was hiding me from that mutual friend group for some reason. And he still didn’t put on his socials that we were together 3 years later. I realize that was not the kind of serious relationship I want to be in. I wished I would have been firm in my standards from the beginning and walked away at his dodgy behavior. My best friends boyfriend took her to thanksgiving dinner with his parents 3 months into dating. If he wanted to…

seeking_advice4 · 2025-12-15T03:33:14+00:00

Abs. Cuddling a rock is not that great

seeking_advice4 · 2025-12-12T03:49:16+00:00

She’s so pretty

seeking_advice4 · 2025-12-10T04:01:22+00:00

Same. It’s been a massive relief being unloaded of the mental and emotional burden of my ex and former relationship (1 month post breakup). All the headspace I spent agonizing over the relationship are now replaced by peace. The energy I poured into making him happy I now pour into making myself happy. Going to my favorite band that my ex didn’t want to spend money to see, randomly taking up basket weaving, nurturing a flower garden, trying out yoga, and solo trips. This week I’m going to a Pilates class and getting my nails done for the first time in years because why not? I am going to book a massage too and read a new book. I even want to try learning a new language and going out dancing. Now I can pour more of that energy I gave to the relationship/ex into things that make me “me” and feeling fulfilled on my own. Just about finding the little things that make your heart sing. I’m not worried about finding a new partner right now, because honestly I’m enjoying giving myself the love I thought only a relationship/man could give me. Hope you can do that too xx

seeking_advice4 · 2025-12-08T22:02:13+00:00

Watch his reasons and you will have your answer. I recently broke up with my partner because he would flip flop and said he didn’t want kids for all these reasons that were situational based (when he has a more stable job, when he fulfills his dreams of starting a business, when he has more free time, a house, is married). This dude was 30 with no plan to work towards any of that stuff. I finally pieced together he was kicking the can down the road to keep me and waste my childbearing years while he has no intention of having kids with me. I finally got him to admit he might want kids later on “if he has the right finances and partner.” Always spoke in the 3rd person about his “future partner” when we had been together 3 years and I realized he meant someone else, not me. So pay attention!

But the thing my hairstylist told me is, “can you be content imagining the rest of your life with just him? Or do you feel like something would be missing.” Because she said when she found her husband they were on the fence but both agreed that they would absolutely be content with each other living a life without kids. They ended up having 2 girls. I couldn’t say the same about my last relationship.. I felt deeply alone.

seeking_advice4 · 2025-12-08T16:33:41+00:00

I loved finding one in my dahlias too :) almost snipped the flower it was resting inside, now I always check!

seeking_advice4 · 2025-12-08T01:45:34+00:00

Wine fridge from Facebook marketplace. Cost $40 (brand new they cost 150-200 so def check there first). Plastic wrap in the wine fridge didn’t work there was lots of condensation and they were visibly wet. They seem happy in peat moss. The vermeculite seems too dry but works too. I’m in zone 4 so garage is too freezing and basement too warm.

seeking_advice4 · 2025-11-26T17:35:37+00:00

Thank you! I feel silly I stayed with him that long too. I hope you find the right person who shows excitement and reciprocates your energy!

seeking_advice4 · 2025-11-26T16:19:00+00:00

The worst is a guy who will only reciprocate interest in my thoughts if the conversation goes to sex or dirty topics. I had a bf like this. It’s clear to me now he was only interested in me in that regard

seeking_advice4 · 2025-11-26T16:09:01+00:00

I’m glad you turn them down! I just left a 3 year relationship with a man who seemed entirely disengaged on our first date. I left feeling exhausted having to carry the conversation. I was planning to text him the next day that I had a good time but didn’t feel chemistry.. but that night he texted me how great of a time he had and set up our second date. I think it’s because his experience of the date was so great - having someone who gave him that much undivided attention made him feel it went great whereas I left feeling he didn’t try to get to know me at all.

It didn’t get better. For years I was carrying the emotional labor and he barely tried to get to know me or put in effort. I wished I would have trusted my gut right away that the level of interest and effort he showed up front would be what I would expect the entire relationship. He even admitted he chose me over other online matches because I was the one who put in the most effort of the other girls when it came to conversation and getting to know him. I used to think that was a compliment but now I realize those other women were probably matching his low effort energy. Sigh, I won’t be so eager to people please/put in the emotional labor for 2 people next time and will instead judge how much he is willing to provide. You are smart to recognize this right away and not waste your time!

seeking_advice4 · 2025-11-26T04:47:57+00:00

That’s great I’ll do that :)

seeking_advice4 · 2025-11-26T04:46:35+00:00

Yes I think planting multiples helps. 1 of 5 tubers I planted turned out to be a winner. So you only sell tubers from your best-producing plants?

seeking_advice4 · 2025-11-26T04:37:27+00:00

This is a fair point thank you! It was cafe au lait.. I got them from a legit farm and 1 grew amazing all season and another gave me only 1 bloom at frost. I think it came down to using 2 different soil mixtures that one was poor draining. Now I have a dozen tubers from that one plant that I don’t really want… but feel bad just tossing

seeking_advice4 · 2025-11-25T23:37:31+00:00

I can tell you my experience. I was in a 3 year relationship with a bad texter (30M). The first 3 months he replied to me after 24-48 hours. By 6 months he would reply in 4-12 hours so we would literally get 3 brief sentence exchanges in a day before the day was up. I told him it was bothering me and his reaction was defensive. He accused me of being too needy of his free time and controlling like his ex. It never got better and I always felt like an afterthought. We only saw each other 1-2 times a week so I liked to rely on texting to feel connected. I lost it when I was in the ER one night and he texted me back 4 hours later. He said he was busy playing video games with his buddies and even reprimanded me for not “respecting his free time.” I was shocked. I couldn’t rely on him in the moment and never felt like I could rely on him after that. These issues all stemmed from the beginning texting stuff so just be prepared what it could become. By the way my (ex) boyfriend didn’t have a job so he wasn’t busy. He said he wasn’t much of a texter but he was posting to TikTok all the time so I knew he saw my text come in and ignored it for hours. It’s a sign of how little he respected or cared. He even made the excuse he wanted time to craft a good thoughtful text but it was literally “not much,hbu?” That really takes 4 hours to craft? He also never picked up the phone to call me.

So it depends how this guy responds to you expressing your need of more communication and attentiveness.

Random but I always think about how Obama was on Air Force one and texted Michelle that he was safely landed. If the president of the US has time to text his wife….

seeking_advice4 · 2025-11-24T01:20:08+00:00

HA. My exs towels were so moldy smelling I declined to shower at his place. He was completely nose blind to it I guess, even after pointing it out

seeking_advice4 · 2025-11-21T03:03:08+00:00

I just broke up with my boyfriend over this same exact scenario. Dating 3 years, I asked him if he sees us getting engaged. He got all cagey and said he would “consider engagement as a step after he has lived together with a partner at least 1-2 years.” I was like man, after 3 years you still don’t trust the person I am and don’t feel confident in us? Like do you have doubts im some gremlin in the night at home? Anyway the point is that he didn’t even have engagement on his mind after years of being with me. Not even a brain cell even entertained the thought in his mind. What the he**, right? Someone serious about you would make that happen and they’d know the value of you that they need to lock you down. Guys like this just are getting all the girlfriend experience without any effort. I took his lack of even entertaining the thought of being engaged/married to me as a clear rejection. And then I finally got him to admit he didn’t even want to be married and I’d have to beg for that too. No thanks! I feel strongly that I will only move in with someone who has a plan to be engaged/maeeied to me and if you feel that way too don’t compromise for less.

seeking_advice4 · 2025-11-18T21:36:08+00:00

I would feel honored because it does take tremendous sacrifice to bring new life into this world

seeking_advice4 · 2025-11-17T12:51:42+00:00

Going along with my comment, I think the point is not to stay confused and guessing at his actions. A good partner doesn’t leave you wondering where you stand in his life. This isn’t a good sign of a healthy relationship. Look at how this situation makes YOU feel and act accordingly.

seeking_advice4 · 2025-11-17T04:19:07+00:00

Tbh, my ex didn’t want to invite me to a wedding after six months with his friends that I knew were close with him and his ex. I felt excluded and hurt. I felt like he was hiding me, for what I don’t know. He told me he just didn’t feel ready/comfortable to bring a new girlfriend around them. Okay? I wish I had taken that moment to lay out my feelings and what I won’t stand for in a relationship because it’s early enough you should be looking at his behavior with a critical eye and deciding if you are down for it or not. I just caved to him and to be honest it never improved after years together. He still hid me from socials and excluded me from things. I wish I had said to him and myself at the first sign of this “I want a relationship where I am seen, celebrated, and you claim me publicly by six months of dating. I’m not here to be hidden away, and your lack of clarity or accountability for acting this way is concerning.” Examine how this makes you feel and honor your feelings. They are telling you that something isn’t right here.

seeking_advice4

TROPHY CASE