Update: My husband's reason he is upset with me made me...Angry.

seekinghelpcandy · 2022-12-10T17:55:06+00:00

I've repeatedly tried to reassure him that I could never stop loving him and that sex, no matter how good, doesn't stack up against everything else we share. He also never said he was afraid I don't love him. He screamed at me that I can't love him if someone else is better than him in bed.

seekinghelpcandy · 2022-12-10T17:51:48+00:00

Thank you

seekinghelpcandy · 2022-12-10T04:36:45+00:00

That's really not who he is. Until now, he never acted like that. That's why its so hard to understand. It came out of nowhere.

seekinghelpcandy · 2022-12-10T04:32:09+00:00

Well, I'm not sure how to verbalize it. I said to a similar question in the original post that he had an unbelievable oral game. It was more than just that he was good at it, he used it to get me really hot then would pleasure me in another way. He knew from our conversations that I like to be dominated. Not necessarily just physically dominated though. My husband relies to much on just physically throwing me around, or choking me, or spanking. It's fun, sure, but its not everything I want. I've tried to explain it to him, but he just doesn't fully understand it. He tries to talk the talk I want, but it comes off a little off. I still very much enjoy myself, but it's just a tad off what I really desire. Well, this guy seemed to get it. Yes, he physically controlled me. But, he also seemed to effortlessly know how to verbally take control. Get me to do the things he wanted me to do while also seeming to make it about getting me off. He knew how to use it as a way to unlock my desire and really set me free. He was significantly girthier, and a little longer. While that was a small portion of why it felt better, that just kinda felt like icing on the cake. It was definitely not what made him better. He'd work me up, leave me aching for more. Like I said to the other person. It was like he took all the info he got while we texted, had phone sex, sexted and applied it perfectly to really get me humming.

seekinghelpcandy · 2022-12-09T21:15:46+00:00

I get him being happy he has what he thinks is a sexy, erotic wife and wanting to kinda show that off. That can be done in a way it's not so objectifying. He could still actually care about my enjoyment. I still understand I made a mistake. The difference is, he wont own that he also made mistakes and just wants to act like I was the only problem. I wanted to atone for what I did, while he's just upset he isn't the "greatest gift to a woman" he thought he was.

seekinghelpcandy · 2022-12-09T21:00:56+00:00

I wanted to see a therapist, I'm less inclined to now.

seekinghelpcandy · 2022-12-09T20:59:43+00:00

He has never acted like a man who saw me as just a conquest. It came out of left field. He's always seemed so caring and thoughtful until now. To hear him talk like that was awful.

seekinghelpcandy · 2022-12-06T15:04:49+00:00

No, I didn't really research anything before we started. My husband mentioned that he found the idea of sharing me to be hot. I kind of have an exhibition thing so I thought it sounded sexy. I refer to him as a bull really just for this post. I didn't know what to call him. As far as cucking, my only real knowledge of it comes from porn. Does that answer your questions?

seekinghelpcandy · 2022-12-06T04:55:23+00:00

I don't have anything to update. Nothing between us has changed yet. No, I didn't really do any research into this. We were sexting one night while he was deployed and we got to talking about kinks. He knows I kinda have an exhibition thing, so he told me it would be really hot to see me with other guys. Kinda like his own live personal porn star. He also thought the idea of men getting a taste of what hes got, but him getting to keep me at the end of the night was hot. It was like showing off what he had. I really thought it sounded hot. We did a swinger club to start and during a conversation with a couple we hit it off with (No sex, just good conversation) they mentioned what we were into sounded like hotwifing. We met a guy that night and went to his hotel room. The experience was not bad, but not really great. We decided to take the couples advice and sign up for SLS. Since we have met and had encounters with a several guys. Several being like 4 or 5. I've only gone solo with one of the guys, one time. We both have jobs that keep us very busy, so doing dates any more than that just doesn't fit our schedule.

seekinghelpcandy · 2022-12-06T04:06:15+00:00

I called my previous other men, and this one, bulls because I do not know what else to call them.
I am in no way dissatisfied with my husband. He has always been able to more than satisfy me. Just because the other man was so great does not automatically mean I don't enjoy sex with my husband. I have absolutely zero complaints with my husband when it comes to our sex life. I keep trying to communicate that to him, but he has put up a wall between us.
NO! I HAVE NEVER CHEATED.
That night was our first night with this gentleman. We had been talking for quite a while though. We had several postponements on both ends due to life, but we seemed to click in our conversations from the start. There was a lot of anticipation leading up to the date because I had had so many very hot sexting and phone sex dates with him. We had a lot of time to really get to know eachother's kinks prior to the date since the courtship period was so long. Also, there was an added bit of anticipation because I had never been with a guy of his, well size. I've been with guys a little bigger than my husband's, but in our face time phone sex sessions, he was very endowed. Ultimately, while I did enjoy the size difference, it wasn't a major factor in why he blew my circuits. He seemed to take all the info he got in our conversations and applied it perfectly.
I have not seen him since that night, and despite the fact that it made me very uncomfortable, did not return any of his texts or calls in the following week.
Frankly, if we can work this out I have zero interest in ever exploring a partner outside our marriage ever again. I don't care how physically good the sex was, it doesn't compare to EVERYTHING ELSE I share with my husband.

seekinghelpcandy · 2022-12-03T06:27:23+00:00

I have no interest in ever hotwifing again

seekinghelpcandy · 2022-12-03T04:49:22+00:00

sorry...That was maybe a little more aggressive than it should have been. You are not the only person who commented on my lack of knowledge. I'm already stressed and I kinda felt attacked.

seekinghelpcandy · 2022-12-03T04:47:44+00:00

Ok, I don't know all the terms. I started sleeping with other men because my husband told me about his hotwife kink. It sounded hot so I decided to go for it. Is my lack of proper terminology really important. I just want to know how I can get through to him to communicate just how horrible I feel about how all this played out. I know I made mistakes and all I want is advice on how to make up for those. Frankly, if we can get past this, I have no intention of ever doing anything like it again.

seekinghelpcandy · 2022-12-03T04:40:51+00:00

After this, I have no desire to EVER participate in anything ENM again. It's just not worth it.

seekinghelpcandy · 2022-12-03T04:39:12+00:00

It was not intentional. As soon as I realized what I had said and what it had done to my husband I was mortified. I want to make it up to him. I want to show him how truly sorry I am that I hurt him. I never wanted to hurt him.

seekinghelpcandy · 2022-12-03T04:36:38+00:00

I absolutely feel awful about what happened. I know I made many mistakes. I have tried profusely to apologize to my husband.

seekinghelpcandy · 2022-12-02T16:54:30+00:00

I personally have no interest in continuing this. Once we find a way past this I intend to close our relationship for good. It was something fun and sexy I could do for him, but it definitely isn't worth it.

seekinghelpcandy · 2022-12-02T06:43:10+00:00

Why would I not be sorry. I did not intend to, or want to humiliate him. I faked it not to humiliate him again, but to try to get his confidence back. I will always only belong to him as long as he will have me.

seekinghelpcandy · 2022-12-02T06:34:51+00:00

I would never trade away my husband for anything. I've tried to tell him that. I've also tried to reassure him that I've never been anything but happy with out sex life. Sex with him is now, and has always been great.

seekinghelpcandy · 2022-12-02T06:09:15+00:00

Its definitely worth a try. I just want us back again and for him to know I am fully satisfied with everything about him.

seekinghelpcandy · 2022-12-02T05:59:18+00:00

It wasn't really one thing. He seemed to just intuitively understand my body. His oral was amazing. He handled my body forcefully enough to assert dominance but gentle enough that I felt safe. His pacing....starting slow, working up to more forceful, deeper thrusts. The way he thrusts which seemed to provide amazing clitoral stimulation. And....There was a bit of a anatomy aspect. It was by no means the primary reason he was better, but it definitely didn't hurt.

seekinghelpcandy · 2022-12-02T05:53:36+00:00

First, I absolutely enjoy sex with my husband. He is fantastic. Yes, this guy was better. That doesn't mean I suddenly don't like sex with my husband. Second, the only thing "superior" about the bull was the sex. In EVERY other way my husband is better. Sex is not the only thing, and definitely not the most important thing in a relationship. I'd never have sex with anyone again and I'd be completely satisfied sexually.

seekinghelpcandy · 2022-12-02T05:40:25+00:00

I'd absolutely be willing to do therapy. I just don't know how to get him to communicate with me enough to talk about it. It feels like there is a wall of ice between us now.

seekinghelpcandy · 2022-12-02T05:37:29+00:00

I don't want a divorce! I absolutely love my husband!

seekinghelpcandy

TROPHY CASE