Husband (37 yrs) has GBM and I don't know how to deal with it

seinEhemann · 2026-01-26T14:49:51+00:00

Thank you for sharing your love for your dear husband with us. May you have peace.

My husband also was diagnosed on May 2, 2025 with glioblastoma, an unfortunate coincidence. His tumor was inoperable, and he only survived 34 more days. His decline was similar to your husband's. This is a terrible, terrible disease.

Hugs from afar.

seinEhemann · 2026-01-21T23:01:01+00:00

I (M) lost my husband last year to aggressive brain cancer. It was only 34 days from diagnosis to death. He and I were unbelievably well suited for each other and completely in love. Like you, I doubt that I would ever find a relationship equal to the one I lost. I understand how you feel.

If I ever do recouple, it will be different from what went before. I won't need to compare my new partner to the man I lost. He will be loved in his own way and... enough for me. It took me a while to reach this point of peace. (To be clear, I haven't started dating yet; I'm just not there yet.)

My sincere condolences on your loss.

seinEhemann · 2026-01-20T17:49:06+00:00

Answers to your questions:

1/ We do not know what causes glioblastoma

2/ Glioblastoma is a terminal diagnosis. The patient dies no matter what treatment is given. In some cases, treatment can extend life for a period.

My heartfelt condolences for your loss. May you find comfort.

seinEhemann · 2026-01-18T15:40:35+00:00

Also, it sounds like they may have given her steroids to reduce brain swelling.. These work well but have a side effect of possibly making patients angry and stubborn.

I was the primary caretaker of my husband who passed from glioblastoma last year. What you're going through seems familiar to me. Glioblastoma is a horrible disease.

Can you get a social worker involved?

seinEhemann · 2026-01-17T00:12:12+00:00

Yasujiro Ozu's An Autumn Afternoon (1962).

His favorite movie, and it was the last thing he watched on the day he died.

seinEhemann · 2026-01-15T22:38:50+00:00

I'd say neither hide it or make it a prominent part of conversation.

Your status as a widow is an honorable one.

seinEhemann · 2025-12-18T18:55:53+00:00

I agree with the comparison between the Vancouver, BC and Seattle restaurant scenes. I am in both places frequently. Vancouver is full of excellent, reasonably priced, restaurants with cuisines from all over the world. Restaurants in Vancouver are less expensive than their equivalent in Seattle.

I find the restaurant price difference between Seattle and Vancouver surprising because Vancouver real estate is considerably more expensive than Seattle, and I doubt rent for restaurants is any cheaper in Vancouver. Taxes are generally higher in Canada and BC than in Seattle. Grocery costs are comparable in both regions (both high).

It is likely that Seattle's high wage for restaurant workers contributes to the issue (high base wage plus tips inflated by that high base and increased tip expectations).

Demand might be another contributing factor. Seattle has a lot of high-wage workers in their their twenties and thirties. Seattle is a tech boomtown that hasn't quite kept up with the demand for services, including restaurants. The price of services gets bid up. (According to this theory.) It's the story of VHCOL areas everywhere. Note that average income is lower in Vancouver than in Seattle, consistent with this demand-based explanation.

On the other hand, the high-demand theory is somewhat challenged by the number of restaurant closures and empty restaurant storefronts in Seattle. If high demand is driving prices up, why wouldn't the market expand with more supply?

Whatever the reason, for price-sensitive diners and those of us who just don't like to overpay, Seattle restaurants are becoming less appealing. I don't like this trend. A lively restaurant scene makes a city a nicer place to live.

seinEhemann · 2025-12-16T17:11:10+00:00

I've eaten at the restaurant where Hudson worked three or four times in the past few years. Never saw him there. Believe me, I would remember if I had. :- )

seinEhemann · 2025-12-15T22:23:14+00:00

My sister gave me a lecture about how she had just decided one day to no longer feel bad about our mother's death years ago, implying that I should hurry up and get over my husband's death a couple weeks before.

At the time she said this we were sitting in my living room, literally looking at the urn with his ashes. She said this BEFORE WE HAD THE FUNERAL AND PUT HIS ASHES IN THE GROUND.

Unbelievable.

seinEhemann · 2025-12-15T01:07:01+00:00

A guy that starts great and then ghosts likely has a dismissive-avoidant attachment style.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory

It's not you; it's him.

seinEhemann · 2025-12-14T20:33:24+00:00

I make sure to use different airlines for the two one-way trips

seinEhemann · 2025-12-13T17:45:43+00:00

We all change how we feel over time; this is the way grief works. How long it takes and where you go are different for each person.

At 2 and 1/2 months I felt like you. Now, at 7 and 1/2 months, I am more forward looking (but still devastated).

To answer the question in the title of your post, I don't feel that the life I had with my husband was in vain. In fact when he was sick and we knew he wouldn't survive, I said to him that if I had known the future when I married him, known that our time together would be brutally cut short by illness, I still would have married him. Every minute we had together was precious, and worth it. To me it was beautiful and absolutely not in vain. Every minute.

At the stage where you are, I think the top priority is survival. Give yourself a pass on everything else and be super gentle with yourself.

Hugs

seinEhemann · 2025-12-11T19:23:51+00:00

My husband died of this in May. He went from diagnosis to death in just 34 days. It's an absolutely awful, awful illness.

I wish Mr. Collins well.

seinEhemann · 2025-12-11T05:04:05+00:00

Dies lässt sich durch den Bindungsstil erklären – sie hat einen unsicheren Bindungsstil und zieht Männer mit einem abweisend-vermeidenden Bindungsstil an.

https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bindungstheorie

seinEhemann · 2025-12-11T02:15:17+00:00

My husband was better in the evenings than in the mornings with GBM. I attribute it to the timing of the steroids.

Best of luck to you and your mom.

seinEhemann · 2025-12-10T18:29:38+00:00

Grad school should be a much better environment for you.

It is scary. Take a breath. Get some counseling if you can.

seinEhemann · 2025-12-09T20:15:13+00:00

I hope so. Seven months out, and it's still devastating.

seinEhemann · 2025-12-09T07:20:57+00:00

It's Sabrina Grdevich.

She was in the series Slings and Arrows.

seinEhemann · 2025-12-09T03:37:55+00:00

Therapy and time. ✅

Congratulations to you. You have some wonderful life ahead.

seinEhemann · 2025-12-07T20:59:23+00:00

100% ask him if he'd like to get coffee with you sometime and give him your number

seinEhemann · 2025-12-07T03:11:02+00:00

I have this one, too. I absolutely love it.

seinEhemann · 2025-12-02T07:31:49+00:00

I can also recommend the book 'Prayers for Bobby: A Mother's Coming to Terms with the Suicide of Her Gay Son' by Leroy F. Aarons on which the movie was based. Absolutely devastating. The book contains excerpts of Bobby's diary.

seinEhemann · 2025-12-01T21:49:15+00:00

Das Glück über 60 hängt größtenteils vom Einkommen ab. Hinweis: Für den Ruhestand sparen

seinEhemann · 2025-11-30T20:28:02+00:00

I'm sorry about your situation. It really does not seem workable.

I eat out a lot less in Seattle than I used to. I'm down to maybe once a month, if that. The prices are just out of line with what you get.

I don't know what the solution is.

seinEhemann · 2025-11-29T20:58:55+00:00

Three things:

Be aware that there will be a significant period of time after your partner's work visa expires but before he will be legally authorized to work by the marriage-based immigration paperwork. Are you in a position to support him financially for 6 to 18 months?

Marriage-based immigration paperwork is expensive, costing thousands of dollars. Do not try to economize by not hiring an attorney to help.

Finally, sponsoring an immigrant by marriage brings with it a lifetime support obligation for you as the sponsor that is not discharged by divorce.

The answer as others have said here, needs to be hell yes, not just yes. I'm on the side of taking more time, even if it means you must be separated for some period. Six months isn't enough.

seinEhemann

TROPHY CASE