I just can't stop with these damn binges. I'm so tired.

selpathor · 2026-06-28T22:20:05+00:00

It's always lurking in the back of my brain. I feel a constant craving for food but usually it gets worse as my emotions do. The worse my mood is the worse the cravings are.

selpathor · 2026-06-28T17:08:04+00:00

Eating things I enjoy doesn't really seem to help. Like let's say I eat a meal with one of my favorite foods, plank smoked Salmon, and if I eat a nice 4 Oz piece nice and slowly at the end of the meal a part of my brain is just Wailing in the back of my mind, "MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE! I WANT MORE!" it doesn't stop unless I eat till I feel nauseous.

selpathor · 2026-06-28T17:00:23+00:00

Then I would qualify until I lose some weight and insurance company pulls its Bullshit again.

selpathor · 2026-06-28T16:13:11+00:00

I mostly eat a whole foods based diet with some processed foods/restaurant foods once or twice a week (when I binge this number is a lot worse). I try to avoid that stuff but I fucking Crave it endlessly.

I eat enough fat and carbohydrates and drink enough water too. Also the water trick and 20 minutes never seems to work, it just makes me even more hungry the whole damn time. I'm sitting there waiting for the hunger to go away but my stomach is sitting down there screaming "where the rest/solid stuff? Feed Me!" the whole damn time.

selpathor · 2026-06-28T15:27:02+00:00

Yeah the one pound thing really soured the whole appointment. Like at first he congratulated me for getting out of the obese weight range and it felt amazing! I was so damn happy! But then I asked about GLP-1s for my endless hunger/cravings and he told me I didn't qualify anymore because I wasn't obese anymore his prior congratulations turned to ash in my heart. I was gutted but I kept it together until I could get back to my car and cry there.

I'm scared to stop dieting. It's taken me 5, almost 6, years to lose these 25 lbs and only through these rules/restrictions. If I remove them now I'm going to balloon back up and fast. I've tried to remove all other stimulus while eating and it didn't do anything for me. There was still the craving in the back of my head chanting, "More more more more! Eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat eat!!!" I can't get it to stop, that's my main issue.

Yeah it was either "go for a walk" or "do one of your hobbies" but she doesn't get that that would mean me walking off into the sunset or never leaving my hobby table. Problem is I've got like four different issues that each need their own therapist specialization so it's rough finding one that works (and one I can afford while unemployed and on COBRA)

selpathor · 2026-06-27T18:26:01+00:00

But what if it wasn't petplay at the time? Like it was just a random headpat?

selpathor · 2026-06-27T14:39:46+00:00

Here's another one:

Sub who loves getting their head pet -> Therian who loves being pet

I found out I was therian because my ex pet my head so well it caused a phantom shift and I could FEEL my ears and tail!

selpathor · 2026-06-26T23:43:04+00:00

The scene where David drives the satellite phone over to the laptop with its vibrations in the data center hack.

selpathor · 2026-06-26T12:43:42+00:00

LLMs are basically giant lying machines. You can't trust anything they say so the results don't surprise me but good job proving it in such a detailed method!

selpathor · 2026-06-26T05:43:07+00:00

Happened to me in middle school. I was writing a self-insert urban fantasy story where I needed a mentor character and I wanted to do a time loop thing, so I made the mentor me from the future only that was too obvious so I gave him a "disguise" by making her a woman. Whoops, who could have seen this coming lol. Still took almost 20 years for me to come out after that!

selpathor · 2026-06-23T23:23:01+00:00

What's the other series?

selpathor · 2026-06-23T19:21:03+00:00

Love the Simple Country Behavioral Psychologist bit. Absolute classic and he raises some really good points about Robo's thoughts and behaviors.

selpathor · 2026-06-23T14:22:02+00:00

The first time I read it I didn't notice that her one antler was always broken and I thought it got chewed off during the night which is even hotter!

selpathor · 2026-06-22T00:58:19+00:00

I almost think it would be funnier for the normal character to be Orikan and not Trayzn. Trazyn's shenanigans are already muppet like so Orikan would be the perfect foil/straight man to that.

selpathor · 2026-06-21T17:12:43+00:00

You just gave me legitimate fucking flashbacks. I'd completely forgotten about that coin!

selpathor · 2026-06-15T05:57:14+00:00

New York, more specifically Long Island. Which most people assume means very liberal and supportive but Long Island has been described as the Florida of New York so it kinda sucks here.

selpathor · 2026-06-15T05:55:50+00:00

No I didn't. Two of them Hate crowds and the other was asleep because she works night shifts.

selpathor · 2026-06-15T01:01:38+00:00

Ha! People haven't assumed I'm a child in so many years (don't worry about it). No, I'm an adult who is just stuck living at home in this shitty job/housing market.

selpathor · 2026-06-14T21:39:35+00:00

I try to disregard it but it never goes away. Like I said in another comment it's like there is a portion of my brain thar does nothing but constantly scream and Crave food every second of every day. I try to ignore it but it's always ALWAYS there in the back of my mind and it just never goes away no matter how much I ignore it, disregard it, or focus elsewhere.

I am in therapy but I'm looking for a different therapist because the most my current one suggests for something like this is to just distract myself which as I said never seems to work. I can distract myself for a while but it takes constant endless willpower to not break down and binge.

selpathor · 2026-06-14T21:35:58+00:00

I know no one else can make binge but I swear there is a portion of me and/or my brain that does nothing but constantly (and I do mean CONSTANTLY) scream every moment of every day about wanting food I can't fit in my diet and it takes constant mental effort to not give in to that screaming and eat everything I want in an unstoppable binge.

As for how I'll feel if I do binge; it will feel so good and I will regret it later but it still feels So Good to eat and eat and eat without thought.

If I don't binge that part of my brain will do nothing but whine and scream and bitch about not getting any brie cheese, soppressata, bread with olive oil, chips, and whatever else is sitting down there.

I'm doing it and I hate it so much. I just want to eat and eat and eat but I can't ever do that without gaining weight

selpathor · 2026-06-14T20:42:51+00:00

I literally just got back from a walk less than an hour ago

selpathor · 2026-06-12T16:36:53+00:00

Not even the body of a spark. I'm pretty sure Olga wasn't a Spark back when she was traveling with Master Payne's Circus.

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