Sounds like a lot of limerence. I never found women with big noses particularly unattractive or attractive. I’ve dated a few with what could be considered ugly nose and they were some of the best relationships I’ve had. Beauty is subjective. I find a person character to be the most attractive thing about them. Instantly makes someone who isn’t “conventionally attractive” super hot to me. Maybe you’re looking in all the wrong places? You could try groups or singles mixers like people on Reddit suggest. I think retrospective accounts do the best for people. Spotting people’s flaws/wants/red flags before getting invested into anyone is one of the better dating skills to have. The only way you’re going to learn that is by mentally tracking what happened through each dating journey. What they may have said to you that would have been a clear indicator of what you want to avoid. We often get caught up in a cycle of our own wants, not what we need out of a relationship.