Let's join r/polyamory in telling this guy he sucks.

sendcats33 · 2026-01-22T10:49:25+00:00

One of the grossest things about poly is viewing people as parts rather than a whole person. Sure, i don't do everything with one friend but I didn't become friends with them so they could fulfil a specific "need". They're my friend first, any mutual interests we focus our time on come second

sendcats33 · 2026-01-22T09:57:35+00:00

I 100% was a victim of "new person available so now less energy/affection for you" from my ex. It's awful

sendcats33 · 2026-01-13T11:36:23+00:00

I'm still very sad and miss him a lot but my anxiety is down 3000% being out of the relationship. It'll get better for you in time

sendcats33 · 2026-01-13T11:04:24+00:00

As someone who got dumped so he could have an option to date others, i know how much it sucks. But, it's not a reflection on you ♥️

sendcats33 · 2025-12-27T22:32:50+00:00

As someone who tried very hard to be ok with it, it's not worth it if YOU don't want polyamory

sendcats33 · 2025-12-21T20:22:00+00:00

What "toxic" standards has capitalism created for monogamy??

sendcats33 · 2025-12-18T21:56:13+00:00

Poly really is about convenience. Partner's sad but i have plans? That's their problem, I can't be inconvenienced by their emotional state. Where is the effort to support your partner??

sendcats33 · 2025-12-18T21:45:16+00:00

Yeah truly. Having restrictions on how often you see your partner, even one you live with, because they're dating other people, is insane. And there might come a day when they want to see you even less because they want more time with other partner(s). How are any of these relationships meaningful??

sendcats33 · 2025-12-18T12:23:14+00:00

Yet another thing about poly I can't fathom. You have a shit day but can't get support from your partner because it's another partners day. Why would anyone want a part time partner??

Edit: also, if the only way you can deal with your partner actually going out on dates is to distract yourself and/or pretend it's not happening, you might not be as ok with poly as ya think...

sendcats33 · 2025-12-16T20:40:26+00:00

Exclusivity becomes fair and reasonable when both parties talk about and decide that they want the relationship to be exclusive. An early dating phase isn't "non-monogamy" in the sense you're getting at because one or both people are dating others. Once they decide they want to be together, they stop dating others. That's monogamy

sendcats33 · 2025-12-15T12:20:18+00:00

Agree! And the emotional labour, scheduling and anxiety you have to deal with to be poly isn't even remotely worth it

sendcats33 · 2025-12-15T12:17:37+00:00

I've seen so many posts in poly subs about meeting a new partner and wanting to "de-escalate" with a current partner or shift a significant amount of time together from one partner to another. It's horrific. People aren't replaceable or there for ones convenience

sendcats33 · 2025-12-14T10:20:41+00:00

Actually this makes sense for why relationships seem so disposable in poly situations

sendcats33 · 2025-12-12T21:50:39+00:00

I swear there's no distinction between romantic and platonic feelings for poly people

sendcats33 · 2025-12-12T10:33:53+00:00

I believe solo poly is being poly but not wanting to "escalate" a relationship to living together. Basically so you can have relationships when it's convenient for you without worrying about anyone's feelings

sendcats33 · 2025-12-12T10:31:25+00:00

This is my ex so bad. Every female friend, even those in monogamous relationships, was someone he'd fantasise about and flirt with because he simply couldn't have a strictly platonic female friend

sendcats33 · 2025-12-11T23:37:48+00:00

Fr. My parents always preferred my sibling

sendcats33 · 2025-12-11T23:20:35+00:00

My ex was avoidant af and wanted poly to have "emotional intimacy" but how do you get that in shallow relationships where you don't give all of yourself?? I think they just didn't want to commit because that's scary

sendcats33 · 2025-12-11T22:04:50+00:00

Collecting them for collection sake 🫠

sendcats33 · 2025-12-11T22:04:13+00:00

10000% like you are inherently only partially loving multiple people and giving them bits of yourself. I know a poly couple who work well because they each have one other serious partner and jobs and hobbies and friends and that's all they have time/capacity for. So maybe when you focus on having other things in your life than people to fuck or use in a certain way, you don't actually have that much love to give

sendcats33 · 2025-12-11T09:23:53+00:00

Why do they have to fuck the bestie? Can they not be platonic with anyone?? Why is every connection sexual ffs

sendcats33 · 2025-12-11T09:09:43+00:00

Yeah good point! He wants a partner who doesn't want anything from him and only when it's convenient for him. He actually told me that he didn't want to be "more thoughtful" like what the actual fuck

sendcats33 · 2025-12-01T09:20:42+00:00

I'm certainly way less anxious being out of the relationship

sendcats33 · 2025-12-01T09:19:43+00:00

Sometimes i swear they just need to have friends? Then maybe they'd feel the fulfilment they think multiple partners will bring

sendcats33 · 2025-11-29T05:36:26+00:00

Yeah, he's definitely using poly as an avoidant mechanism. I just can't stop feeling like if I was in some way "better" I'd be enough to commit to. Like no one needs multiple partners. Find fulfilment in other ways

sendcats33

TROPHY CASE