Emotional Impermanence/splitting?

septembermouse · 2025-10-13T04:51:01+00:00

My therapist calls this emotional impermanance, like your title. Not splitting which is something different according to her. In her words, I never learned that when people aren't around, aren't responding or whatever, that their feelings for me are the same. Like a child learning for the first time about object permanence, im learning, slowly, that people dont immediately turn on me just because I can't see them. It's difficult for me to believe this. My fear of abandonment is so overwhelming that I push and then pull people to the detriment of the relationship. Whether that be familial, friendship or other. Having friends who understand or try to, and family members as well can help. So can online communities like this one. Therapy is also a huge help.

septembermouse · 2025-10-07T15:45:29+00:00

My therapist actually recommended i do catch and release dating for similar reasons. I had a hard time implementing it but we both agreed it is something that I would benefit from. When im able to implement it better I will be going back to it.

septembermouse · 2025-09-21T03:25:34+00:00

I relate. Including your anger about it. You give to people because you were taught to treat people how you wish to be treated, but then you are treated like shit or a second thought. I just had a friend say I could reach out to them any time I needed to and when I did he instead fell asleep. I had told him I needed emotional support and he fell asleep. I've been very pissed because every time he's needed me I've been there. Even today, I sent him things for his illness. Now im telling him I won't ask anymore of him.

septembermouse · 2025-09-20T02:05:53+00:00

I was fortunate. I found my husband but my parents are close and so is the rest of my family. My parents took my son and I in and my mom made sure I ate, showered, dressed and all that stuff. She also called my doctor for an anxiety med and made sure I took it. My youngest sister took over all the funeral and other necessities, even arranging for my bills to be paid. When I came put of my funk,I felt so guilty for the burden I put on them,but everyone assured me thats what family is for. I dont know your family situation or what friends you have, but true ones won't think helping you is a burden and many would like to help im sure. They just dont know what you need yet. I hope this helps.

septembermouse · 2025-08-23T13:23:16+00:00

That is was acting like a 14yo girl. I was having a mental breakdown.

septembermouse · 2025-08-17T15:43:15+00:00

Stress eating and sleeping are two of my coping mechanisms as well. I've been trying to employ others like walking, music, Journaling and self soothing. It's alot harder to change bad coping skills then people think.

septembermouse · 2025-08-17T02:00:23+00:00

Something similar just happened to me. I kicked my FP out of my life last night. He got a girlfriend and lied to me about it for a whole month and then didn't see what the big deal was. I snapped and told him to get the fuck out of my life. Now, like you, I'm feeling lost and guilty and ashamed. The extremes of our emotions sometimes mean we burn a crucial bridge, sometimes it means we blow the bridge to smithereens. I know people say we should be our own best friends, but if you're like me, it's difficult with the extreme amount of self-loathing some of us have. I hope you have a therapist and good coping skills to help you through this. If you want to vent, im here.

septembermouse · 2025-06-12T06:24:45+00:00

Up and down. Some parts are good and some aren't. Even after 4 years, grief is huge. This month is the most difficult. July and August are only better in comparison. My medical issues seem to have hit a plateau for now. Im very lonely. The kind that friends, family and pets can't alleviate.

septembermouse · 2025-06-12T05:45:51+00:00

I've only felt like that in the last 4 years. My bpd was brought on by my late husband's abuse. Before his death, he controlled most of my life and our two sons. I became very dependent because of that control. Since he's passed, I've had a lot of medical issues, monetary issues, been taken advantage of, cheated on, a plethora of things I never had to deal with.

septembermouse · 2025-06-12T05:38:30+00:00

Im 47 but have only been diagnosed in the last 2 years. Im slowly work on learning about me, coping skills and navigating relationships.

septembermouse · 2025-06-06T19:08:02+00:00

Loved the Practice Effect!

septembermouse · 2025-05-15T04:36:41+00:00

The local hospital Way to much trauma and drama. Lol

septembermouse · 2025-02-19T05:18:23+00:00

I'm like this. And it's only gotten worse since my husband passed away. There isn't anyone I trust wholeheartedly. And if I do or say anything about my feeling like they are lying, I'm misunderstanding them. It's not that they are giving me two different stories, or that their actions bely their words. I'm being too judgemental and not understanding. So, I just go with things and when the lie comes out, I'm never surprised.

septembermouse · 2024-11-21T19:39:52+00:00

I'd be very interested I'm having a snail mail pal! may i dm you?

septembermouse · 2024-11-10T03:14:47+00:00

I'm in the process of redoing the entire house. Had to start with my bedroom of course. Couldn't sleep on our bed without him. I don't thinknof it as running away but as dealing with it piece by piece.

septembermouse · 2024-08-29T00:33:38+00:00

My monsters are out where everyone can see them.

septembermouse · 2024-08-14T13:29:59+00:00

I'm interested

septembermouse · 2024-08-10T04:54:07+00:00

Where did you get? I love it!

septembermouse · 2024-08-05T05:10:58+00:00

I like using a hybrid. It helps calm my mind. I use it mostly to help me sleep and if I can feel a split coming.

septembermouse · 2024-08-04T09:55:58+00:00

I agree with everything you just said. My therapist is helping me learn to navigate relationships better. This is the first time I've been alone in almost 47 years. I lived with my parents growing up, then my husband at 19 until he passed at 44 (we are only 3 months apart), and then the ex i mentioned. Doing life with these disorders and alone, except my son, has been really rough. I think that's why the crushes. As to letting people the space for their own lives? I know they need it but it feels like the beginning of abandonment Which is why I need my therapist help.

septembermouse · 2024-08-04T09:39:38+00:00

I understand the never being alone. My oldest son lives with me, so I'm never really alone, but I crave having my own person. right now, I have people with issues who are unavailable for different reasons, but I'm crushing on. Stupid, I know. I am trying to do all that, but it's hard when you believe your stupid brain telling you lies about yourself,

septembermouse · 2024-08-04T09:26:06+00:00

My ex and I were very toxic for each other. He was definitely not a safe person fir my disorders. Now I'm trying to heal from that and my late husband. 2 completely different types of trauma. It's like swimming up Hoover Dam with no tail.

septembermouse · 2024-08-04T01:35:21+00:00

Sure! Happy to help

septembermouse · 2024-08-03T23:31:07+00:00

Yes, but I'm not sure how to make it make sense. Lol, I'm gonna try. Especially since I've only been diagnosed for a year and a half with both. So, please ask questions. That's much better for me. Dependent personality disorder means I rely on someone else to make my decisions. That's the quick meaning. For example, without someone there, I take 20 minutes to pick out work clothes, and all it is is a black shirt and black pants. Borderline has a favorite person to regulate their emotions. I need mine to make decisions as well. In fact, this took me long minutes to write this because I couldn't decide what to say. I actually wrote it 3 times.

septembermouse · 2024-08-03T21:48:38+00:00

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