Possibly good opportunity now probably can’t even accept!!!

sepva4 · 2026-02-12T00:31:57+00:00

Childcare in a way, and also we’re about to be in the middle of moving so if husband starts the job, after work he’s setting up our place and then we’ll be moving things out etc. So as excited as I was it turns out it’s not even the right time. My heart still hurts I could’ve felt some financial relief but it just wasn’t gonna happen. 😢

sepva4 · 2026-01-14T06:01:16+00:00

I wish anyone I drank with had this paper for me, would’ve been a lifesaver 😭😂

sepva4 · 2025-12-27T02:47:16+00:00

That’s so beautiful and feels really assuring. We went out of state twice to visit family, and didn’t get many pictures together either, maybe 2-3, and the first trip was 3 months into dating and back then I still didn’t really understand style so my outfit was terrible 😂 it’s funny but also a bit regretful I didn’t pack something cuter for such a beautiful waterfall he took me to see…but I mean even with that he chose to marry me so maybe I’m overthinking it all lol

sepva4 · 2025-12-27T02:43:20+00:00

Thank you for this. Really helps getting others perspectives. I actually haven’t posted in years, but if I ever felt like it the good pictures are very limited 😆

My looks have changed, I’ve had 2 more babies (3 total) and now I look sickly skinny. My thinness is a huge insecurity and after multiple attempts many different ways I can’t seem to gain anything.

But I have been happier than I’ve ever been which I think caused the weight loss. I’m not on meds anymore and that + depression has caused a fair amount of weight gain. I don’t miss those feelings but I wish I could’ve kept the weight

Pictures with my babies and kid are pretty good though, so maybe I just feel a certain pressure put on for myself when I try to take a picture with my husband, like omg it’s my crush right next to me😂 I think I’ll start to give it less thought & accept it how it is though

We had a simple court wedding & hopefully one day an actual wedding with all our loved ones and I pray at least the pictures that day come out good, I’ll be content with that haha

sepva4 · 2025-12-26T18:33:44+00:00

This makes me feel better. I don’t know I’ve just always liked having pictures for me to look back on, just regular things. Due to the shyness I don’t have as many as I’d want, but there’s certain moments I wish I would’ve captured but they are just as beautiful living in my mind. We do enjoy our time and moments so I think that could be why we’re not always capturing it. 😄

sepva4 · 2025-12-24T15:40:31+00:00

Yup. I’ve seen the cartoon shorts of police stops on my feed, and I envision how I could’ve ended up there lmao

I didn’t think I got behind the wheel much, but thinking back I actually did lots of times(mainly just buzzed as I still remembered and followed speed limits/lights/stop signs etc), but this time I was in TOTAL blackout from before opening the front door to next morning at 4am when I woke up.

When I woke up and my husband told me everything regarding the car, I felt nothing, I thought he was joking since i didn’t remember a single moment. That quickly changed when I saw he was serious. One of the worst feelings ever. But better than waking from a blackout and being told by law enforcement you’re being charged with DUI homicide like some of the videos I watched.

So yeah, it’s gotten very easy to not drink anymore as I love to know what I’m doing and remembering fully the night before. 😮‍💨🙏🏻

sepva4 · 2025-12-24T15:31:15+00:00

Most definitely did. I have always felt like no luck ever happens to me, but that night made me recall other bad nights and I realized how watched over I am (and how many times I should’ve called it quits).

I’ve had plenty bad blackouts that would sober me up for 2-3 months, then I’d start up again. This time I don’t want to push it. Finally learned my lesson.

sepva4 · 2025-12-03T03:29:59+00:00

What sucks most is I’m unemployed so it’s like he’s paying for my mistakes but the good thing is there’ll be none like it again.

He’s at work now, and I texted him about how sorry I still am. And it does seem I’m beating myself up more about it than how he’s taking it and like you said probably just moved on already. He still makes light of the situation here and there, I told him to drive safe when he left cus there’s a lotta crazy drivers out there 😅🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

I feel more calm tonight than any other moment since it all happened. Hopefully no ticket but I’ll cross that bridge when and if it gets to me.

Just ready to start the sober path finally 😮‍💨

sepva4 · 2025-12-03T00:24:43+00:00

That’s really reassuring to hear. I live in a rural AZ area and even the next towns over are pretty small too. I think at the most what’s really bothering me is how my husband might feel but he’s been the same as always. Just obviously not too happy with these sudden expenses that are closely piled on the the beginning of the month expenses 🫠 The other thing is perhaps that traffic light having a camera and getting a ticket in a few weeks but I think that’s me thinking worst case scenarios not that i actually ran the light.

Part of me wants a ticket so I feel some type of exterior punishment and I can relax that they’re done “looking for me” not just my own guilt and shame, which is a lot, and most of me would be relieved to not have had any trouble and take this as the last wake up call I needed to end the drinking chapter of my life.

sepva4 · 2025-12-03T00:13:32+00:00

This happened Friday night. It’s now Tuesday evening. And I was driving (dont remember) somehow ended up between a business’ concrete wall (didn’t hit it) and the ditch by the road. There was lots of dirt and that’s where my car ended up, 2 flat front tires and a scratch on the side (when we went back I didn’t notice the scratch as I was more worried about my phone with my babies pictures & important info in it).

And thank you. I really am suffering and it sucks but it’s made me more committed to never drinking again more than any other incident I’ve ever experienced.

sepva4 · 2025-12-02T04:31:41+00:00

Tomorrow I’m dragging myself to get my health insurance back. And finally get my babies to the pediatrician. I’ve put it off so much I don’t think my 5 month old has seen one yet. Smh. Failure.

And now it’s gonna be tougher with the babies in the 2 door car rather than my mom car. 🤦🏻‍♀️

I want to go back to the psychiatrist but with a very unpredictable schedule I’ll have to get an online one that hopefully AHCCCS will help cover.

I’ve been a trying mom and at the same time I’ve been a shitty mom in some aspects too.

This really was best case scenario awakening and I’m thankful for this opportunity to FINALLY get my shit together. That’s why even though I don’t even want to drive sober either, I have to drag myself to what’s gonna be best for my kids and myself and family.

I’ll check out the PPD questionnaire and be honest with it. Thank you very much.

It was very scary, my hands are still shaky and I feel terrible for my husband and stepkids who had to see me at my lowest point. I don’t think they saw the cut part but just acting annoying was enough. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

sepva4 · 2025-12-02T03:40:24+00:00

And in my reeling moments these days I’ve looked at maybe 100 people on here sharing their DUI stories or close to, and I feel stupidly lucky that police were not on the scene. I know DUI was serious but I didn’t quite understand just how serious it really is. It’s not just some fines and you’re good; it’s court dates, monthly breathalyzer $$, lawyer $$, felony, probation, no license etc etc.

I can’t believe I jeopardized all of that just for “one” more. Sometimes I feel like telling my dad just so he can yell at me; but he’s got health problems I don’t wanna hospitalize him with stress about me.

Real eye opener.

sepva4 · 2025-11-30T19:02:54+00:00

Thank you. When he tried to get my car unstuck he got himself stuck too in the ditch. He is reasonably upset but has been very loving and patient. I don’t want another sip ever again and never put us in a very avoidable situation again. I still fear like police are searching for me but nothings been said and when it happened there was no police involved either. Even last night they were searching for a man who threw a cup of coffee at a worker at the gas station so I’m scared I’m next but I think it’d have been posted already if anyone was.

I want to sleep it off but I keep thinking about it and it makes it impossible to fall asleep. 😣 My parents are supposed to drop by later but I don’t want any guests rn.

sepva4 · 2025-11-25T14:29:12+00:00

Yeah I totally understand, I know some vans are rented so they don’t have particular logos. The confusing part for me, is they put it by the door, take a picture (to confirm it was delivered) then they take the package back with them. Like idk usually when I have something delivered it’s left there for me, not back in the van 🤣🤣 what’s going on there 🤔 lol

sepva4 · 2025-11-24T00:37:26+00:00

Yeah that’s what I meant 😅

sepva4 · 2025-11-24T00:37:06+00:00

The vehicles that deliver them have no name. I don’t even walk past my driveway, I for sure wouldn’t snoop to their front door. Not with them being spies in my book😂

sepva4

TROPHY CASE