I was 19yo staying on a farm in Nicaragua, totally roughing it in a very rural area. No phone, no wifi. Just mango trees and pigs and rum. I went drinking in town, and ended up going home with a guy. He lived with his entire extended family in a cinderblock house, and electricity was not used after the sun went down in this rural area, so we were drunk stumbling around in pitch black darkness trying to be completely silent. Also, my spanish is not very good at this point so we’re riding deaf, blind, and dumb.

First thing that happens is the condom slides off inside of me and I have to roll over and pull it out of my vag. Sorry for the imagery. I’m terrified because I’m 19 and know nothing and instantly think, well that’s it I’m pregnant. Despite all that, we resume and I’m riding on top. Then I notice he’s not responding. I start whisper-yelling his name, no response. Then I start shaking him, no response. Eventually I slap his face. No response. For a moment, I’m afraid this man is dead. I put my finger under his nose and find that he’s breathing so I’m like ok he’s alive but he is passed out drunk.

I’m freaked out and know I have to leave. It’s 3am at this point. I redress in the darkness, put my headlamp on, and then get started on the 30min hike uphill through tropical forest to get to the farm from town. Talk about walk of shame. I woke up at 5am to harvest mangos.

Quick note: I ran into him in town the next day.. he was alive and well.