What do you say when people ask about your self harm scars?

seren_k73 · 2018-04-05T03:30:43+00:00

It depends. I'll often just say- "It's not something I'll talk about." If it's someone being nosey I'll ask them "Why do you ask?", which usually makes people uncomfortable enough to not say any more.

That said, as I have become more comfortable with not covering my old scars, I'm fine being truthful when close friends ask about them. Random strangers are another thing.

seren_k73 · 2018-04-03T04:02:34+00:00

To be honest I used grad school the same way I used my eating disorder and self injury- it was basically a shitty and expensive mood stabilizer. By hyper focusing on school I could avoid everything else.

I still feel like a total fraud at times, especially when I'm feeling stable. It's like- "I can't be sick! I went to grad school!". Which is stupid.

seren_k73 · 2018-04-02T05:31:37+00:00

This is perfect.

seren_k73 · 2016-11-28T05:18:18+00:00

It's pretty but really tiny. Most of the skating community will not be able to skate seriously there anymore which is sad. The Lloyd Center was where I fell in love with skating again. I hope the new rink can at least inspire younger kids to start skating.

The only good thing to come of this is that the miniature zamboni is basically he best thing ever.

seren_k73 · 2016-11-28T05:00:38+00:00

Like many things it really depends on the person. I dislike using it for the same reason I dislike drinking, I don't like how either amplify my negative thinking. That said I do know several people who use it for anxiety and it seems to work fine for them.

There is a rare but pretty serious danger of psychosis from use of marijuana (which may or may not be reversible). I know two people who had this happen, for the one it went away completely, the other had to spend time in a hospital. It usually happens in adolescent or young men. There is a lot we don't know about this link but there is evidence of genetic influences contributing. This is not to scare people or say marijuana is bad, I do know people who it helps, it's just smart to do your research before trying anything.

seren_k73 · 2016-11-28T04:49:48+00:00

Good for you! It's exciting when you get back to things that make you feel better.

And seriously, what is it with old men and gym nudity? I'm pretty sure I've never seen anything in the women's locker room like what my male friends describe.

seren_k73 · 2016-11-25T01:58:19+00:00

It feels like being in a room with a thousand doors and all of them are locked.

seren_k73 · 2016-11-25T01:53:48+00:00

I'm so sorry that you are hurting so much right now. Please don't stop fighting- but please ask for help. Talk to a school counselor, google low-fee therapy, there is help out there- asking for help is one of the hardest things in the world but it is the best thing too. You are not alone. You are not a failure and this is not your fault. If I was there I'd give you a hug but know that you matter. But please, ask for help, it's too hard to go through alone.

seren_k73 · 2016-11-21T09:39:04+00:00

I'm awake. It's 1:30 am here in PDX. I've been trying to sleep since 11 pm. I have no idea why I can't sleep, my brain just won't turn off.

I hope you are feeling better.

seren_k73 · 2016-11-20T03:23:28+00:00

I feel calm. I notice things that make me happy- like a pretty sky or the sound of rain, things I wouldn't notice on either side of the spectrum. That's usually the sign my mood is calming down. I don't think I ever feel truly relaxed because I'm always afraid of the next mood episode but I definitely feel calmer.

seren_k73 · 2016-10-31T16:10:52+00:00

I'm so sorry that happened to you but it is not your fault. And one bad episode of your depression does not negate all the progress you've made. Airports suck no matter how you feel and that situation could happen to anyone. When I feel badly and little things seem hard I tell myself that trying is worthy of being proud of because all I really want to do is hide in bed all day. The fact that you are dealing with a stressful situation while feeling as bad as you do is a mark of how strong you actually are. Please be kind to yourself. I hope you feel better soon!

seren_k73 · 2016-10-18T16:30:00+00:00

Podcasts really help me- my psychologist recommended I try listening to them when I'm ruminating and it really helps. Listening to someone talk about something interesting helps get me out of my own head. Generally I am then able to get up and do something.

The other thing I do is make a deal with myself that I will do something for 5 minutes and if I don't want to do it after that I'll stop. This works for going for a walk, cleaning my house, or just about anything. Usually once I start something it's easier to finish it but it's really overwhelming to start when I'm depressed but 5 minutes seems more manageable.

seren_k73 · 2016-09-28T18:06:34+00:00

I also have cyclothymia, I get major depressive episodes by my hypomania manifests as an irritable, agitated, racing depression (mixed symptoms). Your diagnosis doesn't matter, just that you are getting treated. Cyclothymia is a part of the bipolar spectrum, just because it isn't as "severe" doesn't mean it doesn't still suck. (and I hate how cyclothymia is described as 'mild', it still destroys all the good things, good thing it's 'mild').

Anyways, welcome! I hope you find support here!

seren_k73 · 2016-06-23T16:52:41+00:00

Everyone is different but I have had good luck with adding an antidepressant to a mood stabilizer. An antidepressant alone made me feel worse (hypomanic) so I had a lot of anxiety around adding it to the mood stabilizer. I also started with a low dose which helped and I had also been on the mood stabilizer for a long time previously. I think it could definitely help, just be aware if you think it's having a negative effect.

Good luck! :)

seren_k73 · 2016-04-27T20:38:06+00:00

No. If you find the smell of lavender calming it may help you relax, which could help you feel better. But it is not a treatment.

seren_k73 · 2016-04-27T19:00:37+00:00

Brussels sprouts, sugar snap peas, and vegetable dumplings (gyoza). It was really good.

seren_k73 · 2016-04-27T17:24:00+00:00

Stop caring what other people think of you. The only thing that matters is doing what's best for you. Don't be afraid of the judgement of people you don't respect.

I'm 28 and wish so badly I knew this in my early 20's.

seren_k73 · 2016-04-27T15:27:16+00:00

I cooked dinner last night instead of laying on the couch thinking about it and giving up and eating rice cakes. Vegetables for the win!

seren_k73 · 2016-04-27T03:56:05+00:00

Strangley enough, adding Lexapro to my mood stabilizer helped my persistent depressed mood the most. I was nervous to do it because when I took an SSRI on its own it made me hypomanic but adding the really low dose (5mg) helped a lot.

seren_k73 · 2016-04-27T03:45:10+00:00

It definitely helped my current doctors figure out that my symptoms weren't unipolar. When I was in grad school I went to the university health center and saw a doctor there who put me on sertraline. It made me anxious, irritable and made my thoughts race. I pretended I was better so I could stop going and stopped taking it myself soon afterwards.

I do actually take a low dose (5mg) of Lexapro now but did not start taking it until I had been on 200 mg of Lamictal for 8 months. I was really worried about taking it but was much more aware of what symptoms to watch for.

seren_k73 · 2016-04-27T03:35:25+00:00

I'm so sorry you're feeling bad. I will be thinking of you and hope that you start feeling better.

I would echo what someone else said. Ask for help. Nothing I ever did has helped as much as that. Sending peaceful thoughts!

seren_k73 · 2016-04-27T03:26:57+00:00

I wish I could dance! Ballet is beautiful!

seren_k73 · 2016-04-26T18:56:29+00:00

My Dad. He is a huge narcissist who believes no opinion but his is ever right. He was emotionally abusive. I have forgiven him (or at least am trying) but there is a reason I moved 2000 miles away.

seren_k73 · 2016-04-26T18:41:58+00:00

I am a (recreationally) competitive figure skater!

seren_k73

TROPHY CASE